


Hell In Your Eyes

by SapphireSmoke



Series: The Lesson [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Awkward Romance, Cunnilingus, Dark, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Fingerfucking, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, Mindfuck, NaNoWriMo, Panic Attacks, Paranoia, Parent/Child Incest, Physical Abuse, Romance, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Torture, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2014-04-11
Packaged: 2018-01-01 20:16:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 81,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireSmoke/pseuds/SapphireSmoke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina hadn’t given much thought to the damage her mother had caused her psyche; at least not for many, many years. She had believed Cora to be dead for a long time, and with her ‘passing’ Regina had buried her darkest secrets, her most profound source of pain. With her mother dead, she assumed, the past would die with her. In the end though, it seemed, neither Cora nor her past had really left her at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta(s):** [BellaRei713](http://www.fanfiction.net/u/641948/BellaRei713)  
>  **Predecessor:** [Beneath The Mask](http://archiveofourown.org/works/959017)  
>  **For:** NaNoWriMo 2013  
>  **Timeline:** After 2x09 “The Queen of Hearts”  
>  **A/N:** Please be aware that this is a sequel to a Black Queen fic, and if that is not something you are able to handle then it’s unlikely that you’ll enjoy this one, despite it being primarily Swan Queen. That being said, while you don’t _have_ to read the first fic to relatively understand this one, it’s recommended that you do so you know exactly why Regina has such severe PTSD when it comes to certain things. Updates for this fic will be every Sunday, and for those of you who read Transgressions, I’ll be updating that again in early December after NaNo has finished.

**CHAPTER ONE  
The Nightmare**  


Fingers fisted in the bed sheets as taut nipples scraped the fabric, the warm body atop her own moaning softly in Regina’s ear as fingers slid through the scorching heat between the brunette’s thighs. Regina’s eyes fluttered closed, feeling a soft pair of lips grace the junction of her neck as breasts brushed the smooth skin of her back, and she set her knees in a wider stance to allow better access to what she so desperately found she needed.

The room was delved in darkened shadows, and it felt as though nothing existed outside of her and the woman who shared her bed. Each touch was accentuated, each sound an echo as the world around them blurred, leaving nothing but them and a desire that Regina had kept locked up inside of her for so very, very long. A constant victim of her own paranoia, Regina was finally free to immerse herself in a moment she never believed she would have. It was liberating, yet it was still so very terrifying.

Two slender fingers entered her as teeth latched to the nape of Regina’s neck, and as sun-kissed hair came tumbling down over her shoulder to tickle her skin, Regina reached behind her to pleadingly grasp at the other woman’s body. “Emma,” she breathed, fingernails scraping against heated flesh as the blonde’s lips found the underside of Regina’s jaw.

Emma rocked against her slowly, the evidence of her own arousal being pressed against Regina’s thigh as her fingers twisted and delved deeper inside of her wanton body. “How long?” she whispered softly, the words tickling Regina’s ear as her breathing hitched. “How long have you wanted this, wanted me…?”

“A while,” Regina admitted in a soft voice, turning her head just slightly so her nose bumped against the other’s woman’s, her gasp of pleasure stifled as she pressed her lips to Emma’s cheek. Fingers intertwined with her own, holding Regina tightly as she increased the speed just slightly. Regina held back just as hard, her bottom lip becoming trapped between her teeth as a shudder of unexpected emotion ran through her veins like a raging fire.

“You should have told me…”

“I couldn’t.” The word came out broken, hitched in a throat tightened by past fear, and a light kiss was placed upon her forehead, her jaw, her shoulder. The feeling of the body atop her shifted, the sensation of the skin on hers changing, and Regina released a shuddered gasp as violence overtook the blackened room in an instant, a hand fisting painfully in her hair.

“And it should have stayed that way, my love,” the voice told her, no longer Emma’s but of her worst nightmare. Regina’s eyes widened as her breathing shallowed in absolute panic, but as she tried to struggle against the woman’s hold, Cora pressed her entire weight against Regina’s back, holding her down, the fingers that once belonged to Emma still buried deep inside of her. 

“You are a _disgrace,_ ” Cora hissed in her daughter’s ear, forcefully holding Regina where she saw fit. “I had thought you had learned your lesson, my dear; and yet here you are again, destroying your life once more as you foolishly desire the very woman who demolished your curse, took your _son_. You disgust me, Regina. You are _nothing,_ and I will take great pleasure in showing you just how far you’ve fallen…” 

“No,” Regina gasped, before her fear of the past repeating itself ripped through her violently, and she began thrashing wildly against her mother’s hold, the world around her dissolving the harder she fought. “No, you’re not here; _this isn’t real!_ You’re not—!”

“ _Real!_ ” Regina finished screaming, jerking awake suddenly as she sat straight up in bed, the sound of her own voice having jolted her from her dreams. She still felt so very panicked though, and when a hand suddenly touched her thigh out of nowhere she let out a terrified shriek, her fist colliding with a face that was delved in shadows.

“Fucking _hell,_ Regina!” 

Regina’s breasts heaved as she tried to catch her breath, tried to come to her senses about what was happening, where she was, and an angry hand hit the switch on the wall. The room flooded with light and Regina blinked at the harsh intrusion, her vision becoming filled with the sight of Emma Swan, holding her nose in some vain attempt to get the blood to stop flowing from it. It seemed Regina had hit her pretty hard.

“What… what the _hell_ are you doing in my bedroom?!”

“Taking care of you, you idiot!” Emma spat, furious that when she had only tried to comfort the woman from her obvious nightmare, it had ended with a fist to the face. “Though _apparently_ you’re feeling well enough to deck me in the face, so maybe I should just fucking go.” She winced, pressing her fingers harder against her nose as she held her head towards the ceiling. “I swear to god, if you broke it…”

 _Shit._ The curse from the portal. In her half-awake haze, Regina had forgotten. It had nearly killed her, and the process of dispelling it took quite a lot out of her. She must have been sleeping for days, because her entire body ached and even the slightest of movements aggravated her unused muscles. Regina knew Emma was there when she passed out, but she hadn’t expected her to be there when she awoke; especially not days later.

“No, E-Emma… wait,” Regina implored, stumbling over the woman’s first name, as it wasn’t often she said it. It was that though which made the woman pause before getting to the door, her hand suspended in the air near the doorknob. Regina took a breath, trying to dispel the demons from her mind as she attempted to fix what she had done. “I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—just, come here, please. Let me look at it.”

Emma’s gaze shifted towards her, seemingly unsure of whether or not to even trust Regina’s apology, as it wasn’t exactly often that she heard the woman speak those words. But eventually she turned, relenting to Regina’s care as she wordlessly sat next to the other woman on the bed. She winced after Regina gently guided her hand away from her nose to look at it, and the brunette’s brow creased in guilt and concern at how bruised and swollen it was already beginning to look.

“I think it may be broken.”

“Great. That’s… fucking great.” Emma exhaled a frustrated sigh, her hand catching some droplets of blood before turning her face back up to the ceiling. “Because that’s just what I needed at 3 am; a trip to the ER.”

“You don’t need to go to the ER,” Regina reminded her, guilt still swirling in the pit of her stomach for what she had done. She hadn’t expected anyone to even care enough to see if she was alright, let alone stay for days to make sure of it; and if she were being honest (which she wasn’t, not usually), it actually meant something to her that it was Emma who had done so. “I may be out of practice as far as healing is concerned, but it shouldn’t be terribly difficult to fix, if you’ll allow me to.”

“ _How_ out of practice, exactly?” Emma asked warily, her words coming out muffled by the hand that was pressed against her face in an effort to stop the bleeding. “Cause if there’s a chance you could accidently take off my entire nose or something, I’d rather just go to the ER.”

Regina lightly rolled her eyes at that. “I can assure you, dear, the chances of that are very slim.”

“Doesn’t mean it still won’t happen. Maybe I should just—”

“Miss Swan,” Regina interrupted, her half-awake state furthering her impatience. “Stop being a child about this and let me see your nose. It’s far too early in the morning for a trip to the hospital, and I don’t know about you, but I would like to go back to sleep sooner rather than later.”

Emma grumbled something inaudible behind her hand, but eventually let it fall to her lap to allow Regina’s attempt to heal her. Feeling her heart pound in her throat for reasons relatively unknown to her, Regina reached up to gently cup Emma’s cheek with one hand while she tried to concentrate and her other passed over the other woman’s nose. There was a sudden crunch and a yelp, but Regina’s grip fell to the back of the other woman’s neck to keep her still as she focused on dissipating the bruising that surrounded it.

“Jesus, _ow—!_ ”

“You’re fine,” Regina assured her, a small eye roll following the woman’s complaint about her having magically reset her nose. At the hospital, it would have hurt far worse. Her hand dropped from Emma’s neck as she shuffled to stand. “You look perfectly alright now, save all the blood. Let me get a washcloth.”

When she returned with a damp cloth, Emma was testing out Regina’s handiwork by running her fingers over the bridge of her nose. She squeezed it, and after finding she no longer had any pain, she exhaled a relieved breath as Regina sat back down beside her. Emma’s hand instinctively reached for the cloth, expecting to have to clean herself up, but Regina impatiently slapped her hand away before pressing it to the woman’s face.

She had done this, therefore she should probably be the one to fix it in its entirety.

Emma blinked in surprise, but her expression turned to one of unexpected gratitude as she shot Regina a small smile. “Thanks,” she murmured softly. “And, uh, sorry for the… bitchiness.”

Regina pressed the cloth above the woman’s upper lip, gently dabbing the blood from her skin. “I broke your nose, dear,” she responded, voice just as soft for reasons she did not want to contemplate right then. She tried to focus on what she was doing, instead of the way Emma was looking at her while they were in such close proximity. “I’m just surprised you didn’t do the same in return.”

“You just had a nightmare, Regina. I get that it was involuntary, and I’m not _that_ much of an ass.”

Regina swallowed hard, trying not to think about what it was that awoke her as she turned the cloth over and gently dabbed the woman’s lower lip. “Why on earth were you in my bed?” she asked instead, hoping the change of topic would sway Emma from asking about what she had been dreaming about. 

It was bad enough that her partner in it had turned out to be her mother, but the start of it had been very much _Emma,_ and it took quite a lot of effort to make sure that the thought of it didn’t make her flush like some silly child. While Regina was aware of her attraction to the other woman, she had purposely tried to suppress it, because after what she had been subjected to as a girl, the thought of being with another woman in that way frightened her nearly to death.

But God, when Emma looked at her like how she was now, it made ignoring the burning feeling in her gut so much harder.

“I thought you were aware I had a guestroom,” Regina continued, her tone a bit more biting than she intended as she sought to bury her foolish desires. “Or even a couch, for that matter.”

“Look, I—I _get_ that you’re probably pissed about sharing your bed with me, but it was either me or Henry, and with how you were…” Emma sighed softly, her brow creasing in distress as she remembered. “I mean, if you only got worse, I didn’t want to subject the kid to that. But he… he kind of insisted someone be with you twenty four seven, just in case.”

_Oh._

An unexpected emotion rose up within her, and Regina’s hand dropped to Emma’s to clean off the blood on her fingers, not wishing to have the other woman see her blink back tears. After Henry had abandoned her once his birthmother and grandmother had returned, Regina had felt utterly insignificant and replaceable. She knew her son was worried when the curse she had extracted from the well began to make her ill, but in all honesty, a part of her – and perhaps it was an irrational part of her – feared that Henry wouldn’t care very much if it had ended up killing her. He had a new family now.

But it seemed that wasn’t the case at all, and as Regina ran the length of the cloth around Emma’s ring finger, she shot her a tight, grateful smile. “Thank you,” she told her, the words sounding a bit hoarse from how tight her throat was with suppressed emotion. 

Emma sucked in a small breath, her gaze piercing as Regina purposely didn’t look her in the eye, and nodded her understanding.

“You’re… feeling better though?”

Regina nodded, probably putting far too much concentration and effort into slowly cleaning Emma’s hand as she held a staring match with the appendage. It seemed she wasn’t the only one though, and Emma’s gaze fell to her own hand as she turned it over, allowing Regina to clean her palm.

“How long was I out?”

“Four days.” The answer was soft, and Emma swallowed before clearing her throat awkwardly. Shifting her gaze to the floor, she told her, “You’d just… sometimes you’d convulse in your sleep. I don’t know if—if that meant dispelling the curse was working, or if it meant something was wrong, but it was pretty fucking—” Hesitation followed, the admission of it frightening her never actually being voiced, but Regina understood without having been told. Instead, Emma looked up at her and shot her a brief, tight lipped smile. “Just glad that’s over, you know?”

Emma’s concern for her wellbeing both touched and perplexed her, and Regina finally looked up at the woman, her hand holding the cloth stilling in Emma’s as her brow creased in question. But Emma wouldn’t meet her gaze, and she switched the subject quickly. “So can I, uh… can I ask what you were dreaming about?”

Regina dropped Emma’s hand as though she had been burned, and the answer, “No,” was quick to fall from her lips as she rose from the bed, having been merely rubbing Emma’s skin with the cloth more than cleaning it for the last minute or two anyhow. 

“It’s late,” Regina dismissed before Emma could reply, crossing the room to put the dirty cloth in the hamper. “I wouldn’t be opposed to you occupying the guestroom until morning. There are clean sheets in the hall closet.”

“…You said my name.”

“Excuse me?” Regina turned to face her, panic rising in her throat at the way Emma was looking at her. Dear Lord, she hoped she hadn’t _moaned_ the other woman’s name in her sleep; it was one thing to desire Emma, but quite another to have her aware of it.

Emma shifted uncomfortably from her spot on the bed. “Before you… started screaming about someone not being real – maybe me, I don’t know – you… you said my name. So I just, I thought maybe—”

“That gave you some right to _know?_ ” Regina bit back defensively, the tone making Emma look less sure of herself for even trying to bring this up. “There are a great many people who appear in my dreams, Miss Swan; that doesn’t mean I am required to prance around town and inform them of it. Dreams are deeply personal, and I do not believe we are close enough to warrant the discussion of them, do you?”

Emma looked as though she felt foolish, and an awkward hand ran through her hair as she looked away from her. “No, I—I wasn’t trying to… I don’t know. I just…” she sighed heavily, “don’t really like the thought of me being in your nightmares, is all. Even though that probably sounds really fucking stupid and selfish, and—Jesus, I ramble when I’m tired; I should probably just shut up now.”

Regina just stared at her, feeling her heart pound in her throat as Emma made great effort in looking anywhere but at her. “Why would that even concern you?” she asked without thought, the question burning in her mind despite her better judgment to just dismiss it.

Emma shrugged, looking a little self-conscious. “It just… does. I don’t know.” She idly picked at the bed sheets, taking a moment to formulate her thoughts. “I guess… no one really wants to be the center of someone’s nightmares, you know? That’s… it’s not what I really want to be viewed as, so if it’s my fault I’d rather just, I don’t know, _fix it,_ or whatever.”

Regina swallowed, not really expecting Emma to _care_ about how Regina’s subconscious viewed her, and her gaze shifted as she admitted softly, “You weren’t.” Regina cleared her throat then, trying to make her voice sound a bit stronger as she clarified, “the center of that nightmare, I mean. Merely a passerby; don’t concern yourself over it.”

“Right,” Emma nodded, her lips pursing for a moment as she sat there in silence. Regina’s brow creased as she watched her, wondering if the sudden shift in their dynamic was due to her saving Emma and her mother’s life, or something else entirely. Perhaps both. “Regina?”

Dark eyes met light.

“I could, I don’t know, _stay…_ if—if you want.”

“I already said you’re welcome to the guestroom,” Regina responded, not understanding what Emma meant until she looked far more awkward than one person really should, tugging on the back of her neck with her hand as she averted her gaze and she shuffled to stand.

“Right… yeah—okay.”

And then Regina realized.

Emma was concerned that she’d have another nightmare, or perhaps that she wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep after having her first. And the notion made Regina just stare at her, helplessly unable to understand why someone—why _she_ would care, and her lack of answer just seemed to make Emma even more uncomfortable.

“I’m gonna… just go get some sheets. I’ll, uh, see you in the morning, Regina.”

“Miss Swan.” It was out of Regina’s mouth before she could think about it, and the urgency in her tone made Emma turn towards her in question. Trying to downplay her desire for it, Regina cleared her throat and noncommittally informed her, “You may do whatever you wish to. Far be it from me to deprive you of the company at night, especially if you need it. You did look after me when I was ill, after all; I wouldn’t want to put you out.”

Emma smirked at that, understanding what Regina was doing. But she didn’t want to _say_ that she needed someone—needed her, because it sounded so terribly pathetic. They were merely dreams. Still, if having someone there stood to comfort her, Regina didn’t want to just dismiss it. In fact, she would… she would prefer it, if Emma stayed with her the rest of the night.

But, oh, was that such a _dangerous_ thing to want…

“Right, because putting me out would probably be rude.”

“Precisely.”

Their eyes connected once more, and Emma gave her a soft, encouraging smile. Feeling herself start to flush like some silly little _child_ over her wellbeing actually being a primary concern for someone, Regina merely averted her gaze and climbed back into bed. The bed frame creaked as Emma climbed in next to her, and when she reached up to hit the light switch, the entire room became shrouded in darkness once more.

Silence passed between the two women for a few long moments as Regina situated herself on her side, facing away from the woman in the bed as she stared at the far wall. She could feel Emma behind her, and though she couldn’t see her, she was certain that the woman was facing her. Staring at her, probably, for the feeling made a shiver run down Regina’s spine.

“Regina?” 

Her name was said softly, barely even above a whisper, and the sound of it was so very appealing to her that all Regina could do was make a small sound of acknowledgement in response, not trusting her voice.

“Wake me up if you have another nightmare… okay?”

Regina’s bottom lip became trapped between her bottom teeth, a feeling she feared to name burning hot in her chest as she took a hesitant breath, still so terribly afraid of coming off as needy. Still, despite the fact that she was a grown woman, despite that fact that she should probably be able to handle her past demons, there was something comforting about Emma wishing to protect her from them. And so her own response was quiet, voice tight with an emotion that she would never voice.

“If you insist, Miss Swan.”

[x]

Dark eyes pierced the reflection of the glass, its contents showing a disappointing truth that Cora Mills had not actually expected. She had believed that she had trained her daughter better than this, but the sheer amount of unrequited _desire_ in Regina’s gaze as she looked upon the Savior was positively revolting, and told a much different story than the anger and bitterness Cora had assumed Regina would bear for the woman.

The Savior had broken her curse, destroyed everything that her daughter had worked so hard to build, but yet again, frivolous beauty seemed to blind her from what she needed to do; what she was meant to do, what she was meant to _become._ It wasn’t just pathetic; it was simply unacceptable.

Would she never learn?

The woman who lay tentatively on her side in her oversized bed was no longer a Queen. She had fallen from grace, becoming a pale image of her former self as she concerned herself with _goodness_ and _redemption._ She had changed herself to satisfy this… _woman’s_ desires, and yet even so, strangely, it seemed that Regina had not yet taken what it was that she craved.

It was entirely perplexing, and Cora found herself tilting her head slightly at the image before her, trying to dissect her daughter’s thought process. Clearly the attraction was not one-sided, so why did she hesitate? Was it that she still feared her own mother might be beneath the form that she ached to touch? It was a thought that gave Cora a small sense of satisfaction amongst a sea of disappointment, for if she found all of her hard work had been undone in the time they had spent apart, it would inevitably call into question her ability to properly parent the girl.

And that was an unfathomable notion, for she had done _right_ by Regina. Because of her, her daughter had become Queen. Cora had given her everything that she could possibly want, and yet this was how she repaid her; by practically becoming the lap dog of the very people who sought to take the world from her? From _them?_

The curse breaking was supposed to leave her daughter broken and angry; not frail and… _compliant_ to those who had defeated her.

The disgust Cora felt made her stomach burn, and her lip turned up into a sneer as she watched the sleeping Savior search out her daughter’s warm body. An arm wrapped around Regina’s waist, and the former Queen, who had yet been able to find sleep, stiffened at her unexpected touch. Cora watched on bated breath, waiting for her daughter to untangle herself from the woman and prove herself not a fool, and yet after only mere moments Regina relaxed her muscles, her eyes finally drifting closed.

An enraged exclamation followed the scene, and the hanging mirror shattered to pieces on the cabin’s wooden floor.

The door opened behind her, the sound having alerted her shipmate, and Cora didn’t even spare the Captain a glance as she stared at the remnants of her mirror and demanded, “ _How long?_ ”

Hook’s eyebrows rose, but he knew better than to question what had upset her. “About a half-day’s journey, Your Majesty.” His eyes fell to the shattered glass on the floor, and he added as an afterthought, “I do hope you’re planning to clean that up.”

Cora’s eyes narrowed, but with a dismissive wave of her hand the mirror was adorned on the wall of the cabin as good as new, its image showing nothing but what was before it. Her eyes connected with Hook’s through the reflection of the glass before she turned on her heel to face him. 

“There may be a slight hitch in our plans,” Cora informed him, the scowl still not having fallen from her face. “It seems my daughter is… not quite as alone in this world as I had hoped.”

“And why would this concern me?” Hook asked, one eyebrow rising at the woman’s misconception that Regina’s affairs actually involved him. “My dear Cora, you seem to have forgotten that Storybrooke is where we will part ways. The _crocodile_ is my only concern, not the unfortunate social habits of our former Queen.”

Cora took a step towards him, very much invading his personal space as she raised her brow and questioned condescendingly, “And does the presence of _magic_ in Storybrooke concern you, Pirate? Because if you’re even half as intelligent as you believe you are, the thought should give you pause.”

Hook faltered at the unexpected news. “It was meant to be a land without magic, was it not? How is that possible?”

That, Cora did not know, but she intended to find out. Seeing her daughter reset the Savior’s nose with magic was… unexpected, and it complicated matters. She waved Hook off however, not wishing him to know how much that concerned her as she paced the length of the room. “It matters not. What _does_ matter is that Rumpelstiltskin will surely be as powerful in this world as he was in ours, and without my help, you will not stand a chance at defeating him.”

Hook stayed silent at that assumption, and Cora watched as he struggled to come to terms with that fact. It seemed to frustrate him more than he was willing to let on, but his biting response of, “What do you propose then?” was enough to show his displeasure with the situation.

Cora grinned wickedly, satisfied that he was seeing things her way; things were always so much easier when people simply bent to her will. “Help me rid the world of the Savior,” she proposed, a predatory gleam in her eyes as she advanced on him once more. “And _I_ shall help you rid the world of your crocodile.” 

Hook stared at her for a long moment before a smirk slowly began to tug on the edges of his lips. “Your Majesty,” he drawled, bowing his head in respectful acknowledgment. “I do believe we have an accord.”

**TBC…**


	2. The Admission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you’re aware, this chapter is going to seem really out of character for Regina unless you’ve read the predecessor to this fic. I know some of you are still wary (and with good reason probably), but as I’ve written up to chapter ten now, I can say with a fair amount of certainty that if you can’t deal with the first fic in this series, you are not gonna be able to handle things later on down the road either, lol. Fair warning.

**CHAPTER TWO  
The Admission**

When Emma awoke, she found she couldn’t move. She didn’t even dare breathe.

Panic shot through her entire body like a speeding bullet when she noticed that her late-night idiocy had struck again, and Emma’s breathing shallowed as she began to realize that this time, there was actually a fairly high chance that Regina could wake up and find them freaking _spooning_. Before, Regina had been so out of it that it was unlikely she would realize that Emma’s subconscious need for closeness had caused the blonde to wake up practically on top of her the past few mornings, but now…

Oh God, Emma was pretty damn sure that she would give her entire left _arm_ if she could just get out of this unnoticed; which, incidentally, was the arm that had completely betrayed her trust last night.

Biting down on her lower lip in concentration, Emma moved at a snail’s pace as she tried to untangle her arm from around Regina’s torso, who had, by the way, apparently decided in the middle of the night to hold the offending limb closer to her body. And it wasn’t like that wasn’t nice, or even that it wasn’t slightly comforting that Regina, too, apparently had some subconscious desire to _cuddle_ like they were far more to each other than what they were, but she also knew Regina, and if the woman woke up and saw them like this, Emma would probably get an earful of screaming for the better part of a half hour.

And yeah, Emma was pretty sure she could do without that, thanks.

Shifting her arm into an angle that, yeah, okay, really wasn’t the most comfortable position in the world, but provided a better way to slide out of Regina’s grasp, Emma held her breath and began sliding the length of her forearm from its confines. And fuck, she was almost there – just her hand left now – but because the world liked to laugh at her misfortune, Emma suddenly realized, with a blinding clarity and rapidly on-setting fear, that Regina’s breathing had substantially changed.

Oh god, please don’t be awake, _please_ don’t fucking be awake…

Because the worst part of it was, due to the angle that Emma had been using to slide her arm from Regina’s body, that damned hand had brushed against the other woman’s breast. And now that Emma was currently in a full-blown panic that Regina might have woken up, it was just fucking _sitting_ there, frozen against the woman’s body like it actually had any damn right to be touching her like that.

Fuck. She was so gonna get punched in the face again.

But Regina didn’t move. She held herself completely still, and if it wasn’t for Emma’s hand being against her chest as it rose and fell, she probably wouldn’t have even noticed the change in the brunette’s breathing pattern. But there was no doubt that it had gotten shallower, and panic made way for perplexion as Emma realized that Regina had no intention of screaming at her for it. She wasn’t even trying to stop it.

Knowing full-well that should this get received the wrong way she would probably end up with a broken hand, Emma’s curiosity got the better of her and as an experiment, she tentatively allowed the pads of her fingers to brush against the fabric covering the woman’s nipple. Regina sucked in a sharp breath, her entire body stiffening, and Emma felt her own body do the same as she held her breath, waiting for Regina to freak out on her. But the brunette said nothing, _did_ nothing – she just laid there, her entire body tense in anticipation as she awaited Emma’s next move.

The blonde’s eyes widened. Was this really happening right now, or was she still asleep? Because Christ, Emma would have never guessed in a million years that Storybrooke’s infamous mayor might have a thing for women. Hell, might have a thing for _her._ That was just… it was bizarre, because the type of women Emma usually attracted were heavily tattooed and looked like they could throw her through a window. Regina was… oh Jesus fucking Christ, Regina just _was._

And Emma knew how entirely screwed up it was, to lust after someone who she _knew_ had done unspeakable evils, but it wasn’t like Regina was that person anymore. She was actually trying, really _trying_ to change for Henry, and Jesus, Emma had recently realized that she found this softer side of Regina so _dangerously_ appealing. And it wasn’t like the ‘take no shit’ Mayor with her power suits and an air of superiority was anything to scoff at either, but she never felt even remotely accessible then. Not like Emma would have dreamed in a million years that Regina was accessible _now_ either, and yet…

Oh, screw it.

Throwing caution out the window, Emma allowed her mouth to cover the back of the woman’s neck, placing a hot, open mouthed kiss against her skin as she tightened her grip on Regina’s breast. And oh, holy Christ, the sound that followed was easily the most erotic thing she had ever heard in her entire life. It was this breathless, desperate little plea that got trapped into the back of Regina’s throat as she rolled her neck to allow Emma better access, and God, Emma might be a little slow at times, but right now she did _not_ have to be told twice.

Pressing herself entirely against the length of Regina’s back, Emma’s teeth scraped lightly against sensitive skin as her hand fisted in Regina’s silken nightshirt. The brunette’s breath caught in her throat as her eyes fluttered closed, her ass becoming firmly pressed against Emma’s hips as she wordlessly encouraged her to continue. So Emma bit down, just slightly behind the woman’s ear, taking great pleasure in the way it made Regina squirm and gasp beneath her.

It was strange, honestly, that Regina was allowing her all of the control. Emma had expected, with the way the woman was with everything else in her life, that she would have been thrown on her back by now and topped like she’d never been topped before. But Regina was unusually tentative about what they were doing, and it made Emma wonder if this meant more to her than just the possibility of a lay. Or maybe Regina had just never done anything with another woman before, and this entire thing was an experiment that she was allowing to happen for curiosities sake and, oh god, suddenly Emma realized that maybe it would be better to be delicate with this, instead of just shoving her hand down Regina’s pajama bottoms and having her wicked way with her.

Her heart beginning to pound in her throat as she realized there might be more pressure on her, on this _moment_ than she originally anticipated, Emma began softly kissing down the length of the other woman’s neck. If this ran the risk of completely freaking Regina out, she really needed to take it slow. Her grip on the brunette’s shirt relaxed, and Emma allowed her hand to slip beneath the fabric so she could trace soft circles against the other woman’s skin. Regina shuddered beneath her touch, and Emma hadn’t realized how tense she was until she suddenly felt her completely relax against her.

Okay, so slow is better then. So noted.

A light kiss was placed upon the brunette’s shoulder, and Emma could hear how pronounced Regina’s breathing had become from even just the smallest of gestures. Was she nervous? She was Regina fucking Mills, probably the most gorgeous woman to ever have been born in this world or any other, and it just… Emma couldn’t, for the life of her, understand _why._

And yet there was something so insanely appealing about being able to take the reins with this, because if she were being honest, as much fun as a quick, rough fuck with the former mayor probably was, it didn’t hold a candle to being allowed to take her time. She wanted to kiss every inch of her skin, find every place on her body that made her writhe and gasp and succumb. She wondered how Regina looked when she came, and if she’d be even more beautiful than she already was, and fuck, that thought process scared the hell out of her, because maybe this wasn’t exactly just about the possibility of a lay for her either.

“Regina,” Emma breathed softly, her voice still husked from sleep as she slid her hand up to the woman’s hip, gently encouraging the brunette to roll over. “Look at me…”

There was hesitation, but it was only slight before Regina slowly turned, the uncertainty in her eyes burning a hole in Emma’s heart. Who _was_ this person in front of her? How Regina was reacting to this was entirely unexpected, and it made Emma’s heart thump wildly in her chest, because maybe there was something deeper that lay beneath the surface of her usual tough as nails exterior. Emma wished she didn’t find the woman’s near-innocence during this endearing, as it made a fierce warmth inhabit her abdomen that probably didn’t mean anything good or _smart_ , and yet all Emma could do was gently run her fingertips down the contour of the other woman’s cheek.

“Can I kiss you…?”

Normally, Emma would have never asked. She wasn’t stupid; she could tell Regina was into her, and usually she assumed that meant a green light. But the hesitancy in the other woman’s demeanor made her think twice about just barreling in half-cocked, and her breath caught in her throat as she waited for the woman’s answer, her thumb lightly dusking Regina’s bottom lip.

Regina’s chest swelled as she inhaled a shaky breath, her lips parting just slightly as she gently turned her head, her tongue lightly brushing up against the pad of Emma’s thumb before she made her decision, and closed her mouth in a feather kiss. “If you insist, Miss Swan,” she breathed, the words echoed from last night, and Emma’s teeth found her bottom lip as she smiled.

She moved her thumb away from Regina’s mouth then, covering it with her own in a soft kiss that, Jesus, stole the breath right from her lungs. The brunette touched her, a trembling hand against heated flesh as she gently parted her lips, and Emma immediately found herself concerned. This didn’t just seem like nerves anymore, because Emma had seen Regina nervous, but the only time she visibly _shook_ was when she was scared.

So Emma pulled back a little, her hand finding Regina’s as she laced their fingers together, trying to give the woman a sense of comfort as she whispered against her lips, her tone understanding, “It’s okay. It’s okay…”

Regina’s lips parted, her eyes falling closed as she leaned her forehead regrettably against Emma’s, a pained expression etching across her face. “No,” she told her, voice breaking from an emotion Emma wished she could understand. “No, it’s—it’s not. I have to—we can’t do this. I can’t do this, I’m sorry.”

Her head shook violently as she pulled away from her, throat tight with unshed sorrow as Regina held back tears. And Jesus, the unexpected sight of it ripped Emma to shreds, and she tried to make it better, _somehow,_ even though she had no idea what the hell this even was, but the moment she clutched her hand to Regina’s wrist to implore that she just stay, just _talk_ to her, was the moment Emma knew she had made a mistake.

Regina looked like she was going to jump straight out of her skin, and her eyes widened in panic as she brutally ripped her arm from her grasp. “Don’t touch me!” she shrieked, nearly stumbling in her haste to get the hell out of the bed as fast as she could. “I said _no,_ I said—!”

Oh _God._

“I’m sorry! Regina, I’m—look, I’m not touching you, okay?” Emma tried, holding her hands up in surrender as the usually put together woman suddenly fell apart in front of her. A sickening feeling inhabited Emma’s gut then, as she had seen a girl react to being touched like this when she was in the system. Regina’s emphasis on the word ‘no’ threatened to crack Emma’s sanity in half, because fuck, suddenly she had the feeling that this wasn’t about Regina’s first time with a woman, or unexpected emotions, or whatever else. She had probably been sexually abused at some point in her life, and the thought of that made Emma want to vomit.

“Regina, it’s—it’s just me,” Emma tried, her voice gentle despite the tremor to it as she watched the woman wrap her arms around her torso and quickly back up from her, her chest heaving as panic completely immersed her. “And I swear to God, I won’t touch you unless you want me to, okay? Just… just breathe for a second; can you do that for me?”

Regina had backed herself up against the wall, her nails clawing at the fabric of her nightshirt as she stared at Emma with this utterly helpless look on her face. It made the blonde wonder if she was even seeing her in that moment, and guilt burned in the pit of her abdomen at the thought. Part of her felt like she should have known, but how could she? Still, this really wasn’t fucking about her or how she felt, and so she moved even further away from Regina to allow the woman the comfort of space.

“Get out,” Regina croaked, her throat still painfully tight as the first tear fell down her cheek. Distress crossed Emma’s face as anger and fear seemed to hit Regina all at once and she reiterated loudly, “I said _get out!_ You can’t—you can’t be here; I _can’t—!_ ”

“Regina, please,” Emma pleaded with her, though she still crawled off the bed and slowly backed up towards the door, not wanting to force her presence on the woman by ignoring her wishes. Still, she implored, “I don’t—fuck, you don’t… have to talk to me if you don’t want to, okay? But please just—I don’t want to leave you when you’re like this.”

One of Regina’s hands went up to her mouth, and God, she looked like she just wished she could disappear as a choked sob escaped her lips and she slid down the wall. The sight of it broke Emma’s heart, and she so desperately wanted to go to her, to comfort her, but she didn’t dare approach Regina without her permission.

“Regina, I’m not—I’m not going to judge you, okay? Whatever this is… you don’t have to tell me. Can I just… will you let me come a little closer to you?”

Regina’s hand went from her mouth to her hair, tugging on in slightly as she used anger as a defense mechanism and snapped, “I really don’t care _what_ you do, Miss Swan,” which was enough confirmation for Emma, considering she knew Regina well enough to know that she’d never outright ask for help.

She tentatively approached her, and when she got in front of Regina she knelt down, making careful effort not to touch her. Regina wouldn’t look at her. Though tears were streaming down her face she wasn’t heavily crying anymore, and she just had her head propped up with one elbow on her knee and a hand in her hair, staring at the far wall like a part of her wondered if she could just run straight through it.

Emma worried her bottom lip as she looked at her with regret and shame. “I’m sorry,” she breathed, feeling the guilt nearly eat her alive, despite having no rational reason to feel guilty about it. “I didn’t—I didn’t know.”

“You still don’t know,” Regina told her softly, still unable to look her in the eye. The words came out broken, hoarse. “And you never will.”

“That’s fine,” Emma assured her, not wanting Regina to think that she was pressuring her into revealing anything. “I don’t have to, Regina. You’re not obligated to tell me or anyone anything, okay? Just… just know that I’m sorry, and that I swear I’ll never grab you like that again.”

Regina said nothing, her gaze still fixated on the far wall, and Emma bit the inside of her cheek, wishing Regina would just talk to her, but knowing she really didn’t have a right to ask about anything in the woman’s life. It wasn’t like they were friends or anything; the most they could claim was being fairly civil towards one another, and even that was iffy.

“I just… I didn’t understand why you couldn’t do this, whatever _this_ was supposed to be,” Emma explained with a soft sigh, waving her hand at the space between them. “And I… I don’t know, just wanted you to talk to me, I guess. I wasn’t trying to force myself on you, okay? I just… I thought that what we were doing was what you wanted but maybe I—I mean I guess I must have got my signals crossed somewhere, or something. I’m really sorry.”

Regina said nothing for a long time. She swallowed hard as another tear fell down her cheek, but she didn’t even acknowledge it, so Emma didn’t either. She knew that it was probably really fucking hard for Regina to have broken like this in front of someone, and she didn’t want to embarrass or enrage the woman by trying to coddle her. She doubted it would be taken well.

“It’s complicated,” Regina finally told her, still unable to look at her. The words came out scratchy and she tried to clear her throat to fix that, but it didn’t much help as she admitted softly, “I just can’t be with women, Emma. I’m sorry; I should have never... I shouldn’t have allowed that to happen. It was a fleeting desire that I got caught up in, and it… it was my own fault for not stopping it sooner. I’m sorry.”

“No, Regina, don’t—don’t apologize, okay?” Emma tried, not wanting Regina to feel guilty about it. The word ‘women’ stood out though, and probably said far more than Regina had intended. But Emma wasn’t about to ask if Regina’s abuser was a woman, because that was so _very_ far from her business. Still, she had wondered, as Regina seemed to have been able to have a fling with Graham; and as such that conclusion made a bit more sense. At least more than anything else.

“Look, whatever happened to you… it wasn’t your fault—”

_That_ made Regina finally turn towards her, the movement sharp and accented by a fierce glare. “ _Nothing_ happened to me, Miss Swan,” she responded, her tone dangerously low, as if daring Emma to contradict her. “I merely meant that I’m not gay; so why don’t you do me a favor and stop assuming things, because right now I really don’t have the patience to deal with your idiotic ramblings.”

Ouch.

Despite the fact that Emma knew that Regina was just snapping at her because she was feeling defensive, her words still made her wince. She was only trying to help. But this was a sensitive subject, and if Regina didn’t want to talk about it, then she wasn’t obligated to. Fuck knows Emma wasn’t exactly qualified to help her work through anything anyway. 

“Alright,” Emma responded slowly. “If you say nothing happened, Regina, then nothing happened. I won’t push it.” And she wouldn’t, regardless of the fact that she didn’t believe her in the slightest. 

Emma fidgeted for a moment afterwards, suddenly finding herself debating whether or not to reveal something, as she wasn’t sure how it’d be taken. But in the end, something in her gut told her that Regina was only dismissing an attraction to women because of the abuse she had been subjected to. Not that she… it wasn’t like Emma thought that it was unfathomable that Regina _wasn’t_ attracted to her or anything, because if she were being honest, there was still a part of her that couldn’t believe the woman had reciprocated in the first place. But there was something about how Regina looked at her, how she reacted to her touch, that made it seem like she really did desire it, but was just too afraid to admit it to herself.

And oh god, Emma prayed that she was right, because if not, she was about to make the biggest fucking fool of herself.

“Look, in the interest of… I don’t know, being a complete masochist here, I have something to say.”

Regina’s eyes met hers, tears drying but still staining her cheeks. She was looking at her expectantly, almost _judgmentally_ (but that was Regina for you), and Emma swallowed as she second guessed doing this. But she had already started, so fuck it, if she was going to make a complete ass out of herself, she might as well go for gold.

“I don’t want you to be sorry for kissing me, because I’m not,” Emma began, trying to keep her voice relatively even so Regina didn’t see how goddamn nervous even saying this out loud made her. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while now; even when you were yelling at me about late budget reports or whatever else you could come up with, because apparently I get really hot for a bitch in a power suit, I don’t know.” She flushed slightly at that admission, but moved on. “And even though you’re different now – well, in some aspects anyway – that really hasn’t changed at all, outside of that fact that now I more want to kiss you for who you are, and not just how hot you look when you’re on a power trip.”

Emma took a hesitant breath, shifting her gaze away from Regina before allowing it to rest on her face again, because she probably should be looking at her when she said this. “So even if you’re not gay, even if I have no fucking chance in hell with you, I just… want you to know that, okay? Because I never would have thought in a million years that you might be into me, even if it was just for a half a second, and when I realized that you might be, it was… kinda fucking amazing, you know? And you can scoff and roll your eyes all you want at that, but it’s the truth, no matter how pathetic and ridiculous I probably sound right now to you. So… even if this whole thing was just one sided, please don’t be sorry about it, okay? Cause I’m glad it happened.”

Emma held her breath, waiting for Regina to shoot her down and belittle her feelings, but the other woman just stayed silent for a long time. She was staring at her with a look Emma couldn’t even begin to describe, her lips just slightly parted with a furrowed brow, and Emma would have given her right hand to be able to read minds just then, because unless Regina spoke, she knew she would never know what was running through the other woman’s head. 

“It’s not,” Regina finally admitted, her tone soft and broken as she averted her gaze. Emma’s eyebrows creased in confusion for a moment.

“Not what?”

Regina snapped her head towards her, this blame-filled expression plastered across her face as she snapped impatiently, “One-sided, Miss Swan, _obviously._ ”

Oh. _Oh._ Well that was… okay.

Regina exhaled a frustrated sigh as she ran her fingers through her tussled hair. “But believe me, dear, my baggage is not worth your time or effort, so do yourself a favor and don’t even concern yourself with it.”

“I think I should be the one to decide what’s worth my effort, don’t you?” Emma countered, her eyebrows rising pointedly once Regina’s gaze made it back to her face. “Believe it or not, Regina, but I actually _do_ have it within me to exercise patience and understanding. If this is – if _I’m_ what you want – then I can wait until you’re ready.”

“What you don’t seem to understand, dear, is that I will _never_ be ready. So perhaps you should set your sights on a more attainable goal.”

“No.”

Regina looked at her sharply. “Excuse me?”

“I said no,” Emma reiterated firmly, her heart pounding heavily in her throat. “I want you, Regina. And maybe I’ll never have you, but that doesn’t mean you can tell me what I can or can’t desire, alright? That’s for me to decide.”

That seemed to elicit some kind of emotion in Regina, but she quickly buried it by rolling her eyes and snapping, “Well then you’re an idiot.”

“And that’s news? You’ve always thought I was an idiot, Regina. So really, the only question you have to ask yourself right now is whether or not you want me to be _your_ idiot.”

The question hung in the air, its words much heavier than Emma had anticipated. It just fell out of her mouth without thought, and now that it was out there it caused her heart to leap into her throat, because oh god, a very large part of her _wanted_ to belong to Regina, and not just for one night. It was never really something she allowed herself to think about, as she believed there wasn’t a chance in hell that it could ever happen, but just the thought of it was…

Emma had always felt this kind of pull towards Regina. And before, she could rationalize it with the Mayor being a sexy woman and her not having gotten laid for longer than she would have liked. But that wasn’t it. It was something else, and Emma wished to hell she knew what to name it, but she didn’t have the first clue.

All she knew, in that moment, was that what she just said was the truth.

And Regina was looking at her like Emma’s very words tore her in half, and her hand moved just slightly, perhaps to reach for her, before whatever she was afraid of won out, and she retracted it, fingers trembling just slightly as she rested it against her thigh. Regina said nothing, nothing at all, and it ate Emma alive from the inside out. She understood Regina didn’t want to commit to something she didn’t know she could do, and yet still, Emma ached to hear that maybe, just maybe, she actually did have a chance after all.

Because if she was reading her all wrong, if she was just practically choking on her own foot right now, this would no doubt make it into ‘Emma Swan’s Top Ten Idiotic Moments’, and ruin whatever friendship they might have been able to have in the future. 

God, she probably should’ve just stopped talking ages ago.

But then Regina opened her mouth to speak, and God, their son decided to choose that moment to demonstrate that he had the worst timing in the history of ever.

“Emma? Can we—” Henry began to ask with a yawn, opening the bedroom door without so much as a knock. But his eyes landed on his Mom instead, and the rest of his question disappeared as his eyes widened, a large smile breaking out on his face. “Mom!”

He ran to her then, practically catapulting into her arms. And Regina looked like the force of his emotions might very well break her, because her eyes began to water at the kid’s obvious relief that she was alright. And fuck, the sight of it kind of broke Emma’s heart, because despite everything that had happened – the curse, her past, whatever – Henry was still her child, and Regina clearly loved him with everything that she was. And before Regina had sucked the curse from the well, had actually _showed_ Henry that she was changing instead of merely saying it, Emma was starting to realize that maybe their kid wasn’t exactly forthcoming about how much he loved her back, because it looked like Regina couldn’t believe that he had reacted in that way.

“You’re awake,” Henry said as he pulled back, but the smile on his face diminished at the sight of his mother’s tears. “Why are you crying? The curse, is it… is it still hurting you?” Henry began to look extremely fearful at that thought, because the thing had almost killed his mother less than a week ago, but Regina placed her hand on his head to smooth out his hair as she eased his worries.

“No,” she assured him, her voice tight with emotion as she gave him a soft smile. “No, honey, it’s gone. I’m just glad to see you, is all.” Regina dropped her hand and held both of her son’s as she inquired lightly, “Have you been good for Emma while I was asleep?”

_Asleep_ was stretching it, and Emma was pretty sure Henry knew that, but he allowed his mom to try to downplay what had happened and nodded his head in response.

“I cooked,” he told her proudly. “But mostly because Emma just burns things.”

“Hey!” Emma exclaimed, feigning insult. “Way to rat out my failures, kid.” Regina just smirked at her, as though she wasn’t surprised in the slightest by the woman’s incompetence in the kitchen, and her grasp tightened slightly on her son’s hands as she turned back to him.

“Well how would you feel about making us some breakfast then?” she asked him with a soft smile. “I’d like to see what you’ve learned to do.”

“Really?” Henry asked, excitement in his eyes. “Okay!” He looked like he was about to take off and start his little project, but he turned right before he got to the door and exclaimed, “Oh! And maybe I could help when you make something to bring to the party! Please?”

Regina’s brow furrowed. “What party?”

“Kid, your mom like _just_ woke up; I haven’t filled her in on that yet. But I will right now, okay? So why don’t you go start breakfast and we’ll be down in a sec.”

Henry nodded. “Okay, but just so you know I want to help make lasagna, cause Mom makes the best kind and I think we should bring that.” And then he was gone, heading down the stairs two at a time, if the loud thumping sounds from the stairwell were any indication. Emma smiled, glad he was so welcoming to his mother now that she was awake. If he hadn’t been, she was sure Regina’s mental state would not have been able to handle it. 

The brunette inhaled a shuddered breath as she watched him go, a wave of emotions passing across her face. Emma allowed her a moment to process what she was feeling before Regina’s eyes finally met hers, and the blonde took that as an indication to explain, “Everyone kinda… I guess wants to have a ‘Welcome Back’ party for me and Mary Margaret. We were waiting until you woke up so you could come, if… if you’re interested. It’ll probably be at Granny’s either tonight or tomorrow.”

Regina blinked. “You… were waiting for me?” The words were soft, disbelieving, and Emma’s brow creased.

“Well… yeah,” Emma responded, as though it should have been obvious. It was, wasn’t it? “I mean, you do get that you’re the reason we’re not dead right now, right? If you hadn’t sucked up Gold’s curse—”

“ _Our_ curse,” Regina interrupted sharply. “I was responsible for it as much as he was.”

“Right, because you thought your mother was coming through instead of us,” Emma reminded her, and Regina noticeably flinched at even the mere mention of Cora. The blonde barely noticed though, as the woman was scary as shit, and it wasn’t like she enjoyed the thought of her either. “Look, I get why you did what you did; Cora is... one hell of a fucked up woman, and I know that you were scared and were only trying to protect Henry. But in the end you had faith that we’d be able to handle it, and you taking that shit into your body nearly killed you in the process of saving _us._ So yeah, we waited for you, Regina. You’re kind of the hero of the hour.”

Regina shook her head, biting on the inside of her cheek as she averted her gaze. “I’m no hero, dear. And I very much doubt that anyone actually sees me that way.”

“Fuck everyone else then,” Emma told her strongly, causing the brunette’s head to turn towards her in surprised. “ _I’m_ appreciative that I’m not dead, at the very least, so just come have dinner with us to celebrate, yeah?”

Regina sighed heavily, running her fingers through her hair as she no doubt debated in her head whether or not it would be even worth it. Not everyone was going to care that the Evil Queen made one right decision out of a hundred wrong ones, but Emma knew that it only took just one to open the door, and that the woman needed support if she was planning to walk all the way through it.

“Henry really wants you to go,” Emma tried, not wanting the woman to just sit at home by herself while everyone else was out celebrating. She was a part of this too. “And, I don’t know if it makes any difference or not, but I really want you to go too.”

“Why?” Regina challenged, her gaze meeting Emma’s, who just shot her a gently disbelieving look as she cocked her head to the side.

“You’re really asking me that?”

Regina sighed, shaking her head slightly as she finally moved to pick herself up off the ground. “No,” she responded softly, before she hesitated and stared at the hand Emma had outstretched towards her. Her eyes caught Emma’s briefly, before swallowing and accepting the help, allowing Emma to bring her to her feet. “No, I’m— I just can’t give you an answer right now; at least where all of that is concerned. But I… wouldn’t want to disappoint Henry, so I’ll attend the party if he insists upon it.”

That was fair, and was about as much as Emma could ask for at the moment. She knew it wouldn’t be easy for Regina, to mingle with people who were still suspicious of her, but she was a part of this too, and it wouldn’t have been right to exclude her. So Emma smiled at her softly, tightening her hand on Regina’s hand just briefly before letting it go. 

“Alright, well… let’s go see what the kid cooked us up for breakfast then, yeah?”

**TBC…**


	3. The Kiss

**CHAPTER THREE  
The Kiss**

Being the most hated person in the room was not exactly a new experience for Regina. It was, however, the first time that it actually made her feel uncomfortable. And it wasn’t as though she was aching to be accepted by these people, for in all actuality she really couldn’t care less what they thought of her. The only two—the only _person,_ she corrected herself firmly, who’s opinion mattered was her son, and Henry had made it quite clear that he was happy Regina had attended.

However, her son was more of a social being than herself, and as such he spent the majority of the evening talking and enjoying himself with as many people as he could, which meant that during the time he was not with Regina, the woman found herself feeling quite alone and completely out of place. And it wasn’t as though she expected anyone to wish to spend time with her outside of Henry, as despite Emma’s instance yesterday morning that she wished for things to be… _different_ , between them, it had seemed the woman had since either had second thoughts or was completely wracked with anxiety over the magnitude of her own offer, because Emma could barely hold eye contact with her anymore.

Regina wished that relieved her, but it didn’t; it set her at a terrible unrest. She feared both theories equally; both Emma’s want of her and the possibility that she may retract it, as neither outcome would lead anywhere good. Because yes, she did desire Emma; she desired her enough to be hurt by rejection, and she desired her enough to deeply fear what should be the natural progression of her own feelings being returned to her, because she just… she just _couldn’t—_

Regina tore her gaze from Emma, who was fidgeting almost nervously as she spoke to her parents across the room. God, it was mortifying, what had transpired between them. Regina hadn’t given much thought to the damage her mother had caused her psyche; at least not for many, many years. She had believed Cora to be dead for a long time, and with her ‘passing’ Regina had buried her darkest secrets, her most profound source of pain. With her mother dead, she assumed, the past would die with her. 

In the end though, it seemed, neither Cora nor her past had really left her at all.

And Regina knew that, despite her mother being alive, that it was ridiculous to still fear that she was being tested. She knew that who she had kissed that morning _was_ Emma and not her mother beneath a mask, but it was a fear that had been so strongly ingrained in her that to even think about being with another woman completely crippled her to the point of hysterics. And God, it destroyed her inside, because despite her mother’s cruel attempt at ‘straightening her out,’ the only thing that stuck with Regina was her fear.

For years, her eyes still wandered to the faces of beautiful women. But for so long, many either feared or hated her, and so her wanton gaze was never returned. It was a private fantasy, a _safe_ fantasy due to her terrible reputation and the fact that no one wished to associate with it. That was, until Emma, who had apparently looked past her title of ‘Evil Queen’ and saw the person underneath. And now… now the fantasy was attainable, and that frightened Regina more than anything else.

She wasn’t supposed to be this way. If she wasn’t, she wouldn’t have been subjected to… to _that._ And just the mere thought of that night sickened Regina to her very core, so badly that sometimes she wished she could tear her skin straight from her bones. Foolishly desiring women had brought about one of the most horrific, humiliating, soul-shattering experiences of her entire life, and there was a part of Regina that feared should she indulge herself, she would only be subjecting herself to more of the same. 

In the end though, it mattered very little whether or not Regina should be ‘that way’ or not, for yesterday morning proved that even should she wish to, she couldn’t. And after her panic attack, Regina knew that if she even attempted the idea of a relationship with Emma the topic would eventually be brought up. And what had happened to her, that… it was a secret that would die with her, as Regina would rather slit her own throat than admit out loud what had happened to her as a young girl. 

It was shameful, it was disgusting, and no one would ever, _ever_ understand. 

Clasping her hands together in her lap, Regina allowed her eyes to wander across the expanse of Granny’s diner in order to distract herself from plaguing thoughts. Everyone was talking animatedly, laughing… generally enjoying themselves. While earlier in the evening, many of the partygoers shot Regina dirty looks for even daring to breathe the same _air_ as them, now she was barely regarded at all. She had become part of the scenery; something that was just _there_ but bore no need for attention or notice. In a way, it was even worse than being despised; at least then she had felt visible.

Regina wasn’t even sure why she had bothered to come. Yes, Henry wanted her to, but it was obvious she did not belong, nor did anyone wish her to. Exhaling a soft sigh, Regina tangled her fingers in her hair as she rose from her seat. She had made her appearance and had spent at least an hour and a half at this sad excuse for a ‘party’ in order to appease her son, and as he was currently distracted by others, Henry would probably care very little if she ended the night early anyway. He no longer lived with her, so it wasn’t as though her absence would affect him any as he didn’t need to return to the manor with her, and thus would be free to continue to enjoy himself. He would… he’d be fine.

Regina didn’t even bother to say goodbye, not wanting to make a big ordeal over her exit. She doubted anyone would even notice anyway, but the brunette barely got to the sidewalk before the door to Granny’s was pushed open and someone was following behind her.

“You’re leaving…?”

Regina stopped mid-stride; she hadn’t expected the voice behind her, as Emma had barely looked at her the entire time she was there, let alone even attempted to speak with her. After exhaling a soft breath, Regina schooled her features into a polite smile as she turned to face her. “It’s getting late, and I have things to attend to at home,” she lied easily. Her eyes landing on her son through the window, Regina continued diplomatically, “Just please be sure to have Henry in bed at a reasonable hour; he has school in the morning and has difficulties concentrating when he has less than eight hours of sleep.”

Emma blinked, looking a little taken aback for reasons Regina didn’t really understand. “No, I— I mean yeah… I will. Sure. But—”

“Thank you for the invitation, Miss Swan,” Regina cut her off, forcing a tight smile of gratitude. “It was… enjoyable.” That was a blatant lie, as the only time Regina had actually enjoyed herself in the last hour and a half was the whole of twenty minutes Henry spent with her, but it was the polite thing to say. She gave Emma a small nod of parting before turning around, just wishing to leave as quickly as possible, but the blonde immediately took a step forward and reached for her.

“Regina, wait—”

The woman’s hand nearly clasped around her arm before Emma thought better of touching her and abruptly stopped, no doubt afraid that it would cause Regina distress as it had the last time, and the realization that she was apparently something to be delicate with now made the older woman feel embarrassingly weak.

In an attempt to make her hesitation about touching her less obvious, Emma immediately brought her fingers up to tangle in her hair as she shifted the weight between her feet. “Look, I’m… sorry,” she tried, pulling awkwardly at the back of her neck. “You know, about everyone. I know you probably don’t feel very welcome, but they’re just…” Emma exhaled a soft sigh and shrugged helplessly. “It’s just gonna take some time.”

“Believe me, dear, what those people think of me is no concern of mine,” Regina responded tersely as she shoved her hands into her coat pockets, hoping that the chill in the air would explain her rose tinted cheeks. “And for future reference, I’m not going to shatter if you touch me,” she continued, her tone biting and defensive. “So I would appreciate it if you didn’t act so irritatingly awkward around me; you’re only embarrassing yourself.”

“Right, no… I know—I’m… I’m sorry,” Emma stumbled, her cheeks flushing lightly at being called out on her actions. She averted her gaze as she folded her arms across her chest in an effort to keep warmer. “I just didn’t want to—”

But Regina wasn’t interested in hearing her reasoning, as it no doubt would make her feel weaker, and so she interrupted with a firm, “It’s late, and I need to be going. Thank you for the party, Miss Swan.”

“No, Regina—!” Emma tried again, this time sounding a little desperate as her hand actually made contact with the woman’s arm. Regina’s eyebrows rose in surprise, really not expecting Emma to care enough to try to stop her once, let alone twice. “Just… please,” Emma continued, leveling her voice a little as she looked a bit embarrassed by how needy her previous statement came out. “Please stay.”

“Why?” Regina challenged, not understanding why the woman seemed to care _now,_ when she couldn’t be bothered to even look at her the entire time she had actually been in the diner. 

“Because…” Emma began, but started to look less sure of herself. Regina however just rose her eyebrows in expectation, and Emma forced herself to finish with, “It’s just… it wouldn’t be the same without you, you know? You’re a part of this too. The entire reason Mary Margaret and I are even _here_ right now is because of you, and maybe she doesn’t appreciate it, but I… I do. And I’d really like it if you stayed.”

“Really,” Regina responded flatly, disbelievingly. “Because you barely looked at me the entire time I was in there, let alone spoke to me until you realized I was about to leave, so I really don’t see why—”

“I know,” Emma interrupted, an apology in her tone. “I just…” She breathed out a soft sigh as she removed her hand from the brunette’s arm, shoving her hands into her pockets as she rocked on the balls of her feet and averted her gaze again. “I said a lot of things that morning, you know? And now—”

“You regret them,” Regina assumed, wishing her heart didn’t feel like it was plummeting into her stomach. She shouldn’t _care,_ as it wasn’t as though they could have a relationship anyway, and yet still it was… disheartening. 

But it seemed that wasn’t what Emma meant at all, because she quickly countered with a, “No!” Surprise washed over Regina’s expression then, and Emma worried her bottom lip for a moment, looking increasingly uncomfortable with this conversation. “No, I just… I kinda got a little freaked out that maybe I… I don’t know, came on a bit… strong.” 

Oh.

“You did.”

The words were out before Regina could even think to stop them, and it looked like the weight of them crushed Emma into pieces. But she struggled to keep her expression neutral and forced out a strained chuckle as she took a step back from her. “So… yeah, hence the awkwardness, you know? I’m sorry, I just thought… I mean, I never meant to—”

Damnit, Regina hadn’t meant to hurt her with that. It had been quite some time since someone had actually wanted her of their own free will, and despite it never being able to amount to anything, it was still nice to feel desired. 

“Miss—E-Emma,” Regina corrected herself halfway through, stumbling over the woman’s first name. The blonde looked up at her then, actually meeting her gaze for the first time since the beginning of the conversation, and god, it was distracting, how beautiful she looked in the moonlight. “It’s not as if I don’t… _appreciate_ your attention. But I just find it hard to believe that you’re interested in anything more than my bed. You don’t even know me—”

“Would it be completely lame if I said that I wanted to get to know you?” Emma asked, looking hopeful and yet terribly unsure of herself, and Jesus, Regina wished that didn’t look as endearing as it did. Still, despite the flutter in her chest, Regina shook her head.

“Believe me, dear, you really don’t want that.”

Emma pursed her lips, her brow crinkling at Regina’s words as if she didn’t understand why she would think that. Which was ridiculous, wasn’t it? She was the Evil Queen; anyone in this godforsaken town would stay as far away from her as they could so long as they had half a brain cell. But perhaps assuming Emma had even that was giving her far too much credit, as clearly _something_ was wrong with her if her idea of a good date was someone with enough baggage to fill sixteen different airports.

“Look,” Emma began, taking a small step towards her. “In the interest of honesty, and— you know, all that…” She shrugged lightly, her gaze finding the ground. “You’re right, okay? About the sex thing. Because right when you… when you reciprocated, that was the first thing on my mind.” Light eyes met dark then and Emma admitted, sounding a little ashamed of herself, “I just wanted to fuck you. I didn’t even think of anything beyond that.”

Regina really didn’t know why that admission offended her, because that was precisely what she thought this entire thing was about anyway, but the blonde’s words still stung; mostly due to the other woman’s ‘admissions’ thereafter. If that was all this was to her, then everything she said was… it was just completely unnecessary. 

“Well,” Regina responded tersely, straightening her back as she arched an irritated eyebrow in Emma’s direction, hoping her stature portrayed more strength than she actually felt in that moment. “I suppose I should congratulate you then, Miss Swan, for the most creative load of _bullshit_ that I have ever heard used to try to get me into bed.” Despite her attempt at staying poised, how upset that made her seeped out between her words as Regina continued angrily, “Unfortunately for you, I wouldn’t be interested even if you were the _last_ person on this—”

“No, Jesus— _no,_ Regina,” Emma tried, realizing what the brunette thought. “What I said after, that wasn’t bullshit, okay? I just meant that _before—_ ”

“You really expect me to believe that your feelings about me changed in the span of twenty minutes?” Regina snapped, furious that this actually _bothered_ her. Why on earth should it matter, if Emma was just feeding her lines to get into her bed? It wasn’t going to happen either way.

“No!” Emma exclaimed, looking beyond frustrated at this point. She turned on the spot, tangling her fingers in her hair as she exhaled a long groan. “God, I didn’t realize I’d suck so bad at this.”

“At _what?_ ” 

“This; _you!_ ” Emma blurted out, gesturing at her exasperatedly. “I don’t usually do the whole… chasing someone thing, you know? It’s usually the other way around. And obviously I don’t know my head from my ass when it comes to being on the other side of things, because I’m pretty sure that I’m just making everything worse…” 

“Well what did you expect?” Regina countered furiously, looking at Emma like she couldn’t fathom why this outcome perplexed her. “It’s one thing to want to get into my bed, Miss Swan, but it’s quite another to lie about having some kind of… I don’t know, juvenile little _crush_ on me, like you actually care more for me than what I look like naked—!”

“I _do_ care!” Emma exclaimed, seemingly frustrated that Regina still didn’t get that. “Jesus, I only meant that before—I just… fuck. I’m not the kind of person to let myself feel more than I should, so I set my bar really low at first, alright? That’s all.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Regina demanded. She didn't understand what that had to do with anything; was Emma now implying that she was _lowering_ herself to sleep with her, because that was even worse—

“I thought sex was all _you_ wanted, so that was all I let myself want,” Emma tried to explain, sounding exhausted as she slumped against the wall of the building. Her eyes connected with Regina’s, her gaze begging her to understand, because apparently she had gotten this situation entirely wrong. “It was… safer, you know?”

Regina’s gaze was still hard as she stared at her, but she had to swallow the sudden tightness in her throat. “So what the hell made you assume that telling me all this was suddenly the _better_ option?” she demanded, still unable to figure out where Emma’s head was at. Hadn’t she made it perfectly clear that she couldn’t do this with her?

Emma gave her a small smile, almost as though she were trying to encourage Regina to believe that this _wasn’t_ a disaster waiting to happen as she responded softly with, “When I realized that you look at me… the same way that I look at you.”

_That_ made Regina instantly look away from her, furious that her gaze had betrayed her stance on this foolish situation as she forced a disbelieving scoff at Emma’s words. “If you really do have feelings for me – which I’m still inclined to doubt – then you’re really doing nothing but setting yourself up for a broken heart. I already told you—”

“Well maybe I want to get my heart broken by you.”

Regina shot her an exasperated look at that ridiculous line. “You’re an idiot.”

“Maybe,” Emma agreed, because at least she understood that despite how Regina may or may not feel about her, nothing was guaranteed because of the scars of her past. “And you can believe me or not, Regina, but I still laid my cards out on the table in front of you. So at this point, whether you want to play with me or not is entirely up to you.”

There was a pause, and then a small smirk followed that sentence as Emma apparently realized that it could be an innuendo as well as a metaphor, and Regina rolled her eyes in response to her juvenility. She really wasn’t as cute as she thought she was.

Straightening her back, the brunette exhaled a soft huff and averted her gaze back towards the diner, only to be confronted with at least twenty different pairs of curious eyes. All of them however, abruptly turned away the moment they were caught staring, and Regina turned up her lip in displeasure at the sight. Must everyone in this town believe her business their own?

“What?” Emma asked, noticing the expression on Regina’s face. But when she followed her gaze and noticed everyone scrambling to look ‘natural,’ she breathed out a soft, “Shit.” Fingers tangling in her hair, she looked at Regina with a panicked expression on her face. “Do you think they…?”

“Heard you embarrassing yourself?” Regina finished for her pointedly, just trying to bury everything she felt because God, she _couldn’t_ do this. She just couldn’t; their first attempt already proved she wasn’t capable of it, and she just wished that Emma would stop making her feel… like she mattered to someone. “I doubt it. If they had, your mother would have surely burst through the door and demanded to know what spell I put you under.”

“…True.”

Regina shifted her gaze back towards Emma momentarily as she placed her reddening hands back into her jacket pockets. The cold was starting to bite her skin, and the wind had picked up since they had first stepped out there, making the temperature seem even lower. Her two choices for warming up were now her home or the diner, and there wasn’t a chance she was stepping foot back in there; no doubt she would be bombarded by suspicion and accusations, and Regina really wasn’t in the mood to deal with that tonight.

“Well, I wish you luck in explaining to your overbearing parents why you were speaking to the Evil Queen for the better part of the last twenty minutes,” Regina began as she took a step backwards towards the sidewalk, “as I’m sure your excuse will be just as flimsy as it is ridiculous, but I really should be getting home.”

“You’re really gonna leave me to come up with something all on my own?” Emma asked, feigning as though it was some kind of betrayal of trust. “Way to take one for the team.”

Regina rolled her eyes at that, but it was light, almost playful. “You and I are not a _team_ , Miss Swan,” she reminded her, but the words didn’t hold as much bite as they should have. “Besides,” she continued, gesturing to the diner. “If you really wish to… _play with me,_ as you say, you should probably get used to this; because the more time you spend with me, dear, the more questions they’re going to ask.”

Emma quirked an eyebrow at that. “Was that permission to spend time with you? Like… maybe a date-type sort of ‘time’?”

Despite herself, Regina smirked at the woman’s persistence. “ _Goodnight,_ Miss Swan,” she responded pointedly, as she found that as much as she probably should disillusion the woman, that a part of her secretly enjoyed the attention. And perhaps that was terrible, to string Emma along solely because she didn’t want this feeling to end so abruptly, but it wasn’t exactly often that someone cared enough to ‘chase’ her. 

Emma scrunched up her nose in light protest, but didn’t argue Regina’s choice not to answer. “Night, Regina,” she said instead, and as Regina turned around to walk to her car, she swore that she could almost feel the woman’s eyes on her until she disappeared around the corner.

Unbeknownst to her, however, it wasn’t Emma’s eyes that were on her at all.

[x]

“As fascinating as this is,” Hook drawled, sounding terribly bored as he folded his arms across his chest and looked at the woman next to him. “Are we actually going to _do_ something anytime soon, or was this solely reconnaissance? Because I could have stayed on my ship with a generously sized bottle of rum if our objective of the evening was merely to stalk your daughter and her lesbian lover.”

Cora pulled the spyglass from her face and turned sharply towards the man, a look of warning in her eyes for Hook daring to call that filth of a woman her daughter’s _anything._ Yet despite her anger over Regina’s questionable life choices, Cora’s expression quickly turned into a condescending smirk as her gaze flickered briefly to her companion’s hook. 

“It’s no wonder you lost your hand, if you’re so quick to barrel off half-cocked at your first bout of boredom,” she reprimanded, to which Hook look positively offended at. As if his pride _mattered._ “Patience, my dear Pirate, will warrant much more favorable results, I assure you.”

“Yeah, well, it looks as if our night’s thrilling mission of ‘patience’ has concluded,” Hook responded with a sarcastic bite to his tone, nodding his head down towards the street where the two women they were watching began to part ways. “Your daughter is leaving; so, Your Majesty, if that will be all…”

Cora turned back to confirm Hook’s observation as truth, and when she saw Regina leaving the diner a wicked smile graced her lips and she chuckled. The sound of it was gleeful and cruel, and it reminded her of a time when she was happy. Her daughter, her dearest Regina… she had always made her happy, even when she was nothing but a disappointment. Even now, even when Regina was disobeying her once more, it gave Cora a sense of joy to have the chance to parent her again. Grown or not, Regina so _desperately_ needed her mother’s guidance, it seemed, and she would be given it without hesitation, for Cora loved her more than anyone else could ever dare hope to.

And oh, she was going to make _sure_ that it stayed that way. 

“No,” Cora corrected, a thrill of excitement prickling the base of her spine at the thought of what was to come. Stepping forward, she handed Hook back his spyglass as she informed him with a wicked grin, “This has only just begun.”

And then with a wave of her hands, and a puff of purple smoke, her form changed into that of the Savior. Hook raised an eyebrow at the getup, looking skeptical about her plan. “You do realize that should you do something drastic while wearing that woman’s face, your daughter will surely speak to the real Swan about it? The Queen will realize something is wrong; she may even realize that you’re _here._ ”

Cora smirked, finding his feeble brain to be quite endearing with its utter stupidity. “Oh, my simple-minded Captain,” she cooed, the form of address causing a glower to pass over the man’s face. “ _That’s_ what I’m counting on.” 

And then with another wave of her hand Cora was gone, and Hook was left standing on the rooftop, his spyglass in hand and curiosity brewing in his gut before he placed the instrument against his eye, and watched what was to come.

[x]

“Regina!”

The brunette started at the unexpected sound of Emma’s voice, and she turned just as she was about to approach her vehicle. Her brow creasing, Regina watched the woman jog up to her, hands stuffed firmly in her coat pockets.

Had she forgotten something at the diner? Because while she knew that Emma had it within her to be a bit pushy when it came to this entire… situation, surely she had gotten the hint that she was still so terribly undecided about it, right? Regina just… she needed _space,_ because while the woman’s affections were flattering, they still scared her quite terribly for reasons she never wanted to explain.

“What is it, Miss Swan?” Regina asked as the woman approached her, feigning annoyance and exasperation. “It’s cold out, and as entertaining as it was to watch you trip all over your feelings for the last half hour, I really would like to get back to my—”

But that was as far as she got.

Suddenly her back was pressed firmly up against her car door, a warm body encasing her own as a pair of lips stole all competent thought from her mind. A gasp of surprise fell from the back of Regina’s throat, and her hands scrambled for purchase on the woman pressed up against her, fully intending to shove Emma off and demand what the hell she thought she was doing. But she hesitated, the feeling of the other woman’s bruising kiss beginning to wash through her senses, and in an instant Regina’s common sense fell away to nothing and her fingers clasped tightly around the fabric of Emma’s coat, pulling the woman closer to her body.

The kiss was rougher than Regina would have expected after Emma’s blatant display of believing her to be fragile, and the blonde’s tongue demanded entrance just as lithe fingers tightened painfully against the side of Regina’s neck, the woman’s thumb pressing firmly against the hollow of her throat. The gesture was dominant, it was almost dangerously _possessive_ , and within a moment the enjoyment of the kiss was gone as it flashed Regina back to a time she would rather forget. The memories that assaulted her caused her breathing to shallow and her heart rate to triple, and just as Emma bit down hard on her bottom lip, anger, fear, and resentment began to burn hot in the pit of Regina’s stomach, desperate to claw its way from her body.

Tearing her mouth away from Emma’s, Regina’s voice sounded strained and frightened as she shouted, “ _Get off of me!_ ” It only took one hard push to shove the woman far enough away from her, and instead of looking regretful for doing what she did, Emma almost looked _pleased_ with herself.

Trying desperately not to fall completely apart as the memory of how her mother used to kiss her continued to invade her mind, Regina’s hand hit the side of the car in an effort to steady herself as she demanded, “What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing?!” Her words broke in half from the crippling anxiety that was threatening to tear her apart, and the question sounded far less intimidating and angry than she would have hoped.

Emma didn’t even look phased by her negative reaction. “What we both wanted,” she answered, sounding all cocky and self-assured and Christ, was this just some sort of elaborate game to _break_ her? 

Regina may not have spelled it out for her, but she knew Emma wasn’t stupid; and she… Emma _knew_ that the last thing Regina could handle was someone being forceful and possessive like that with her. She damn well knew what it would do to her; she had already seen once what it did to her, and yet directly after all this talk of having something resembling actual romantic feelings for her, she went and did something like _that?_

“What?” Emma asked in response to Regina’s enraged and disbelieving silence, an arrogant smirk crossing her features as she advanced on her. “You’re going to pretend you don’t now? Really, Regina, I think we both know better than _that…_ ”

“Stay the hell away from me,” Regina barked, the overwhelming panic that had invaded her entire body causing her to be unaware of how completely out of character this entire exchange really was. Her paranoia grew tenfold, believing it to be nothing more than Emma screwing with her, as before it had been almost unfathomable that the Savior would ever fall for someone like her anyhow, and so Regina was quick to jump towards blame and hatred just to make herself feel stronger. “I don’t know what kind of childish _game_ you’re trying to play with me, Miss Swan, but I will not be a part of it!”

Emma mock-pouted at her in response, but Emma didn’t _pout_ did she? And if she did, it was certainly never like that. Emma might be the most irritating woman Regina had ever had the displeasure of meeting, but she was never sarcastically _cruel._ And yet… God, Regina’s chest was constricting and her knees felt weak, and her mother—her mother was in her head again, laughing and taunting her and telling her this was the price for letting her gaze stray to someone who couldn’t give her power, to someone who couldn’t allow her to bear heirs, and Regina suddenly felt dizzy and sick and she just—she needed to go. _Now._

“Oh come on; don’t be like that, my darling…”

It was barely heard; just an echo in the back of Regina’s mind as her hand fumbled for the door handle on her Mercedes. Everything Emma said, it now sounded like her mother; her brain twisted it into Cora’s voice, Cora’s words, and Regina’s vision blurred as she ripped open the door in her haste to escape her own forthcoming madness. Because it wasn’t just that Emma reminded her of her mother, suddenly it was like she _became_ her mother, and Regina couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. Her fear was bleeding into reality and nothing felt solid anymore, and all she could do now was run from it in the hope that it wouldn’t follow.

And God, the very last thing Regina ever wanted to do was fall apart like this in front of her, to give Emma the _satisfaction_ that she had so easily broken her, but her anger and hatred choked up in her throat as paranoia began to suffocate her. There were no words, just the roaring sound of an engine and tires on the pavement as Regina peeled out of the parking lot, unable to stomach glancing back at the woman she had left behind.

She only made it two blocks.

Two blocks before she felt like she was being strangled by her own esophagus. Two blocks until her heart threatened to beat its way out of her chest. Two blocks until the tears in the back of her eyes began to blind her, and Regina had to force herself to stop driving before she nearly killed herself. And after she shut off the engine, a choked sob made its way past her lips as Regina turned and buried her face into the leather of her seat, wondering how she could have ever been so foolish as to trust, even for a moment, that someone wouldn’t try to destroy her with her darkest secret.

**TBC…**


	4. The Warning

**CHAPTER FOUR  
The Warning**

The door to the Captain’s cabin was thrown open by a mere flick of the wrist, the solid oak slamming heavily against the wall with a sickening crack as the Queen of Hearts strode into the room without a care in the world as to either her lack of invitation, or the damage that her needless theatrics were causing his damned ship.

“Oi!” Killian exclaimed, his expression becoming accusatory as he gestured erratically towards the door with his hook. “Watch the woodwork, will you; that’s some bloody fine craftsmanship and I’d prefer it not be ruined for the sake of your dramatic entrances.” 

Cora side-eyed him as she strode past, her expression stony but her gaze filled with condescending judgment. She said nothing as she stopped in front of the full-length mirror that adorned the wall, apparently unable to be bothered with even dignifying the man’s grievances with a response, and so once Cora’s back was towards him, Killian found he couldn’t be arsed to suppress the roll of his eyes either. 

A piece of work, that one was.

“Where have you been then?” He asked instead, realizing the woman had no intentions of responding to his previous statement. He hadn’t seen Cora since the incident with the Queen, and that happened more than half a day ago. Leaning against the wall, Killian crossed his arms over his chest and quirked an eyebrow in her direction. “Off making more inappropriate sexual advances towards your daughter?”

Before Cora’s hand could pass across the glass, no doubt to turn the mirror into another window into Regina’s shambled life, she froze mid-motion and snapped her head towards Killian in warning. “Are you questioning my methods, Pirate?” The woman almost looked as though she wished he would, just to make an example of him. “ _I_ alone know what is best for my daughter, and I can assure you, it would be most unwise to think of challenging me on the subject.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Your Majesty,” Killian responded, giving her a little bow that was far more mocking than the woman no doubt preferred. “But perhaps I am just too simple-minded to understand why a mother would use snogging as an effective life lesson for their child.”

Or perhaps he was merely the only one sane aboard this ship, because Killian was fairly certain that a parent’s first instinct should not be to sexually assault their own daughter. That was… disturbing, to say the least; though he supposed, knowing Cora, it could have been much worse. Still, it wasn’t something one saw every day, nor was Killian apt to want to.

“You believed that to be a _lesson?_ ” Cora questioned, a disbelieving laugh escaping her lips in order to make him feel foolish for even thinking such a thing. She turned from him then, passing her hand over the glass to make it shimmer into the image of her daughter. “No, my dear Captain. That… was merely a warning.”

Killian wasn’t certain what exactly Cora did or said to her daughter last night to warrant such a strong reaction, as it had seemed perplexing to him that a simple snog would send Regina into such a frenzy, but regardless, if that was a warning, he was fairly certain he never wanted to know what her ‘lessons’ were like. The Evil Queen was a fierce woman, and when Killian had met her, it seemed as though she feared nothing; and yet, in spending only ten minutes with her mother, it seemed that Regina broke as easily as a simple twig.

It was entirely disconcerting, and made Killian question who exactly he had gotten into bed with.

An accord was an accord however, and the Queen’s family business was certainly none of his own. He would do as expected in return for the Crocodile’s head, as that was the deal he had made. And Killian Jones may be nothing but a one-handed pirate with a drinking problem, but he did have honor, and as such _always_ abided by his promises made.

Well, at least recently.

“And was your warning received?” Killian asked, his eyes watching the Queen in her home. She was sitting in her study with a glass of something that was preferred by only a few in the early hours of the afternoon, looking as though she was conflicted between tearing either herself or the house apart in a blinding rage. Cora smiled wickedly at the sight of her daughter’s turmoil.

“Not yet,” she answered, just as a loud knock echoed through Regina’s home, nearly startling the woman out of her seat. Cora’s grin widened as the Queen collected herself enough to rise from her chair, and the woman continued whilst watching her, “But my daughter is a smart girl, and I can assure you, it won’t be long now…”

[x]

Emma shifted her weight nervously between her feet after she rang the doorbell to Regina’s home, her fingers tightening on Henry’s shoulder. The kid winced at her grip, complaining with an, “Ow!” and a light shove, which was enough for Emma to realize that she probably shouldn’t touch her child while feeling this goddamn anxious. As she quickly removed her hand from Henry’s shoulder, the blonde shot him an apologetic look.

“Sorry.”

God, what was wrong with her? It wasn’t like she was picking Regina up for a date or something; she was just dropping their kid off after school. She’d probably see Regina for all of five seconds and then that was it, so why the hell did this seem like some kind of ‘do or die’ moment? It was like suddenly everything in her life got ten times more dramatic the second feelings were involved, and that was just… really fucking ridiculous. 

And juvenile. 

And _pathetic._

And… and the worst part of it all, was that the only thing Emma could really be concerned about at the moment, was whether or not Regina would actually _smile_ at her when she opened up the damn door. Like, for some effed off reason, that would either make or break her entire day.

Damnit, what the hell has she gotten herself into? Crushing on the Evil Queen… there was no way that this was going to end well; and yet, for some disastrous reason or another, the second Emma realized that there was more to Regina’s attractiveness than her well-sculpted body and sassy attitude, some kind of floodgate opened and now all she could do was stand there and drown in all this shit she hadn’t ever expected to want. 

“What’s with you lately?” Henry asked her as he rubbed his offended shoulder. “You’ve been acting really weird every time you’re about to see my mom; like you’re scared of her or something.” 

_Scared? Actually kid, I’m freaking_ terrified _of your mom, but not for the reasons you think._

Those words were never going to leave her mouth however, as the last thing they needed to do was drag their kid into the middle of whatever this either was or never would be, and a frown crossed Henry’s face before he questioned, “Did you guys get into a fight or something?” 

He looked really disheartened by the prospect, and given Regina’s rocky past and Henry’s tendency to point blame, assumptions like that probably weren’t going to lead anywhere good as far as their relationship was concerned. So Emma tried to tell him that no, they definitely weren’t fighting, but she didn’t actually get the chance to say the words, as Regina chose that moment to finally answer her door.

And Jesus, the second she locked eyes with Emma, she looked positively _murderous._ It caused the blonde’s stomach to plummet to the ground and her heart rate to triple, because whatever stupid thing she must have done or said last night was apparently going to get her killed right there on this damn porch, but within a second the look on Regina’s face was gone, replaced by this feigned warmth and welcome as she rested her gaze on her son.

The switch was entirely disconcerting, and it shot off at least ten different warning bells inside Emma’s head.

“Mom…?” Henry asked tentatively, apparently having noticed the look that was previously on her face as well. “Are you okay?”

Regina forced a tightlipped smile, and the sight of it said everything but what she was trying to convince them of. “Of course, dear.”

Putting a hand on the small of his back, Regina guided Henry inside without even bothering to spare another glance in Emma’s direction. And in a way, being treated as though she didn’t even exist was even worse than being looked at like she had just killed the woman’s puppy. So, in not knowing what the hell else to do, Emma just stood there on the porch kind of lifelessly, her mind beginning to obsessively go over every single detail of the night before because _obviously_ she had somehow managed to piss Regina off, but the thing of it was, she honestly had no idea what the hell she could have done.

“Did you get a lot of homework today?” Regina asked sweetly before she took Henry’s backpack from him, adorning it on a hook in the foyer before unzipping it.

“Uh, some…” Henry answered slowly, still looking at his mother strangely as she began pulling books from his bag. “Mom, what’s—?” he tried, but his question was immediately cut off as Regina handed him the pile she had gathered with a tightlipped smile that looked like it could cut ice.

“Why don’t you run upstairs to your room and get started then,” she suggested, which really didn’t sound like much of a suggestion at all. “And I promise if you finish early enough, we can rent a movie and order some pizza later. Wouldn’t you like that?”

“Yeah, but—”

“Henry,” Regina said shortly, the smile on her face faltering a little. “ _Please._ ”

Henry bit the inside of his cheek, looking apprehensive as he glanced between both of his mothers. The kid wasn’t dumb; he knew something was wrong. Emma just wished _she_ had known something was wrong earlier, so that she could have dealt with this before bringing him by. Whatever it was, he didn’t need to get caught up in the middle of it.

“Fine,” he relented after a moment’s pause, but he didn’t look happy about it. Henry made eye contact with each of them in turn though, his gaze almost like a warning before he finished with, “But don’t hurt each other.”

And then he was gone, having ascended the stairs in a huff before slamming his bedroom door in the wake of his displeasure with this entire situation. And fuck, the second Regina turned back towards her, Emma wished she had barricaded herself in Henry’s room with him, because the brunette looked like she was about to _strangle_ her.

“How _dare_ you show your face around here after what you did to me last night,” Regina seethed, her eyes nearly black with fury as she began to advance on her. Her tone was low and dangerous, yet undeniably _hurt_ underneath it all, and it caused Emma’s brow to crinkle in confusion and utter helplessness because Jesus Christ, she really didn’t understand for the life of her what she had done!

“Regina, wha—?”

But that was as far as she got.

Emma hadn’t actually expected this to become violent, and especially not this quickly, so she really didn’t have any way of preemptively blocking the furious shove that came next. The rough movement caused her back to collide heavily with the corner of the doorframe, and Emma winced as pain shot up her spine. “Fuck, what the _hell…?!_ ”

“I am going to say this to you _once,_ Miss Swan,” Regina hissed, her hand colliding with Emma’s chest again to pin her in place against the threshold of the front door. “Cruelty breeds cruelty; and believe me, after being subjected to that pathetic attempt of yours last night, I can assure you that I am far, _far_ better at it than you could ever dare hope to be.”

Teeth bared, Regina got into her face then, breathing her air and smiling in a way that looked as if she would like nothing more than to rip the blonde’s esophagus straight from her throat. Which, along with being both mildly frightening and still so goddamn confusing, also caused an entirely inappropriately timed shiver to run down to the base of Emma’s spine which, God, probably meant she needed therapy or something because what the hell.

“So unless you wish to see exactly how creative I can be, I suggest you rethink using me as some kind of emotional whipping post,” Regina continued, an iciness in her tone that, despite its sharpness, still sounded like it was on the verge of shattering. “Because I can guarantee you, the very _last_ thing that I am, dear, is _weak._ ”

Weak? Where the hell did that even come from? Did Regina think that she—Christ, what the _hell_ was going on right now?!

“What _attempt?_ ” Emma demanded, still not understanding a word of what Regina was saying. “Regina, what the fuck are you talking about? I didn’t _do_ anything to you!” 

She tried to take Regina’s hand off of her then, but the brunette snarled and grasped her wrist, pinning her back against the doorframe. It was a position Emma could easily get out of, because despite the other woman’s anger, she still had the advantage of strength, but something inside of her told her to just leave it, to let Regina keep the upper hand. 

The brunette was _furious_ , yeah, but her eyes were also beginning to glint in the afternoon’s sun, as though she were trying to hold back tears. Regina wasn’t just angry; she was upset. She looked at Emma almost as though she had _betrayed_ her, and so the blonde kept herself still beneath Regina’s hold, knowing that the woman was sure to lash out even more should she start to feel weaker than her opponent, especially when she was already emotional. 

“You assaulted me at my _car!_ ” Regina shouted, like Emma was stupid for even trying to pretend she was innocent in all of this. But Jesus Christ, she wasn’t anywhere _near_ Regina’s goddamn car last night, so what the hell—?

“Regina, I didn’t!” Emma tried, sounding desperate to understand, because really, none of this was making any sense. Was Regina still sick from what she had sucked up in the portal and it was making her hallucinate, or had someone used magic to make themselves look like her? Gold, maybe? But fuck, either way… “I swear to God, I didn’t go anywhere near your damn car last night, okay? The last time I saw you, you were leaving Granny’s—”

“Don’t lie to me!” Regina snarled. “How utterly inept do you think I am? I _saw_ you, Miss Swan; you put your damn hands on me and I swear, if you think you can use this against me—”

“Ask Henry!” Emma blurted out against her better judgment, since they _really_ didn’t need to be dragging their kid into the middle of whatever this was. “Or Granny, Ruby, my _parents…_ I swear on my life, Regina, whoever hurt you last night, it wasn’t me!”

Regina fisted her hand in Emma’s tank top, jerking the woman forward until she was only a breath away from her face. Her eyes sought to devour her, making the blonde suddenly feel very naked and exposed beneath the fiercely assertive gaze. Regina was trying to intimidate her, that much was obvious, but Emma knew it wasn’t just that. She was dissecting her, assessing her, trying to recognize a lie where there was none to be found. And then suddenly, and only slightly, Emma could see the flicker of uncertainty within her darkened eyes.

“You _really_ expect me to believe…?”

“Regina, this is a town full of _magic!_ ” Emma exclaimed, trying to get her to see reason. For fuck’s sake, she was _not_ going to be blamed for something she didn’t do; and even more than that, the last goddamn thing she was going to do is let someone get away with wearing her face, if that was the case. “Is it really that farfetched that someone who _actually_ hates you was trying to screw with you? Or even that you’re still sick from the portal and thought—”

“I’m not sick!” Regina shouted, letting go of the blonde’s shirt to allow her back to collide again with the threshold. “I know what I saw!”

“Then it was someone else—”

“There’s no one else!” Regina insisted, although was starting to sound more paranoid than furious now. “No one else knows what I— _there’s no one else!_ ”

Wait…

“Knows what?” Emma asked, but she was only met with silence. “Regina, knows _what?_ ” But the woman didn’t answer. She just looked at Emma like she couldn’t understand whether or not she was being fucked with, and the blonde was left to draw to her own conclusions. “Did someone… does someone know about us?”

At least _that_ got a reaction. “There is no ‘us’!”

Emma’s impatience to figure out what the hell was going on was quickly mounting into frustration because God, trying to have a conversation with Regina was sometimes like talking to a goddamn wall, and so she reiterated, “Fuck, fine. Regina, does someone know about the freaking _massive_ crush that I have on you? Because I swear to God, if they used that to—”

“Massive?” Regina questioned, looking both surprised and almost _accusatory_ because, you know, how dare she actually have feelings for her, right? Christ.

“That’s not the point, Regina!” Emma exclaimed, starting to get really furious about this entire thing because if someone used _her_ face, _her_ feelings to screw with Regina that was… that was fucking _personal._ “I need to know what the hell went on last night, because if you weren’t just imagining it—”

“I _wasn’t!_ ” Regina raged, and apparently she was done with being accused of such, because she violently wiped the dark lipstick from her mouth with the back of her hand, smearing some of it across her left cheek before pointing angrily at her bottom lip. “Does this look like something I imagined to you?!”

Oh, fuck.

There was a purple bruise on her lower lip, but it wasn’t just the fact that it was there that made Emma’s stomach drop to the ground; it was the fact that it was shaped like _teeth._ “Jesus, what the fuck did they do to you?” she breathed as she grasped Regina’s cheeks in her hands, pushing the hair from her face to see the damage. But in doing so she brushed the hair back from Regina’s neck as well, and her eyes found the faintest hints of fingertip-shaped bruises that were badly hidden beneath a thin layer of makeup. 

Emma felt sick.

“Did they… were you…?” She swallowed hard, unable to say the word out loud. When Regina said ‘assaulted’, she had assumed someone had hit her. But this looked way more sexual than violent, and that thought made Emma want to vomit as her mind went to the worst possible place. 

“I wasn’t… violated, if that’s what you’re asking,” Regina told her, voice suddenly soft and vulnerable as she allowed Emma to inspect her. At seeing the blonde’s reaction to it, it seemed she was finally realizing that it wasn’t Emma who had done this to her at all, and it looked as though she was having trouble actually processing that.

But those words made the strongest sense of relief wash through Emma that she could barely contain it, and as she exhaled a breath of air she didn’t realize she had been holding, she collapsed her forehead against the brunette’s. “Oh, thank god…” she murmured, her thumbs dusking across the contour of Regina’s jawline. Jesus, if someone had done something like that to her…

But then she stopped, because… because she was pretty sure someone already had once, and that thought made Emma’s heart feel like it was shredding into a million pieces. 

It really didn’t matter though, how far the person had gone this time. They still went far enough to leave bruises, went far enough to leave their _mark_ on her under the guise that they were Emma, and that was… that made the blonde want to rip the fucking world apart. Regina had apparently been subjected to enough shit like this in her life, so much that even the slightest assumption that something nonconsensual was about to happen was enough to—

Oh God.

“That’s why you thought it was me,” Emma breathed in realization, pulling back enough to look Regina in the eyes. “Because I would know what would happen if…” But Emma couldn’t even say it. She was furious; both at Regina now _and_ the person who did this to her, and she pushed herself backwards from her. “Jesus, Regina, how could you even think that I would _ever—?_ ”

“Because you’re the only one that _knew!_ ” Regina exclaimed in her defense. “And they looked like you, Emma; what the hell else was I supposed to think?!”

“That I would never be that _cruel_ to you!” Emma shouted, her chest beginning to tighten painfully. “That I’d have enough fucking common decency and _respect_ to never treat you or anybody else like they owed me something! Regina, I’ve been stumbling all over myself like an idiot for the past couple days just trying to get you to fucking _notice_ me, do you really think that I’d—?”

“Oh, don’t be stupid; of course I notice you,” Regina snapped furiously, which made the rest of Emma’s words stick in her throat. “And what’s more is that you _know_ I do, otherwise you wouldn’t be this irritatingly persistent!”

“And _yes,_ ” she continued, eyes flashing as she advanced on the blonde up against her doorframe. “If you must know, I am more than aware of just how _moral_ and _good_ you are. I am aware that you have some kind of knight in shining armor complex that you no doubt got from your imbecile of a father, and that you would like to ride off into the damned sunset with me because you have questionable life choices and a terrible sense of judgment. And that is precisely—” But the rest of the words choked up in the back of Regina’s throat as suddenly her anger lay waste to upset and heartbreak. She swallowed. “That is _precisely—_ ”

But she couldn’t finish. It didn’t matter though, because Emma understood. “That’s why it hurt you so badly,” she breathed, but even confirming such a thing seemed to enrage Regina and she pulled away from her.

“You _can’t_ hurt me,” she insisted, trying to make it sound like some kind of warning, and yet her throat was so tight that it cracked the words in half. 

“Regina, I _didn’t_ hurt you,” Emma reminded her, grasping ahold of the other woman’s hand to stop her from running. “Okay? Someone else did.”

Regina’s jaw looked as though it was almost trembling before she snapped it shut and hardened her expression, no doubt in an attempt to push everything she was feeling down and away. Anger, that was an emotion she could deal with; but sadness, uncertainty… not at all, because those could be considered a weakness. 

And if Regina Mills wanted to prove anything in her life, it was that she wasn’t weak.

Emma knew that, so she said nothing as she gave Regina time to collect herself. It took a few long moments, but finally the brunette released a breath and began, “Emma, there is _no one_ else who—” But then she stopped, and it was like something suddenly dawned on her. Her head snapped towards the large mirror adorning the foyer wall, and instantly looked torn between being enraged, sickened, and absolutely terrified.

“Regina, what’s—?”

But suddenly the hand the woman was holding was dropped, and with one quick movement the mirror they were both staring into was shattered into a hundred pieces, the destruction caused by the magic of a frantic woman who couldn’t bear to face the truth.

[x]

The image of her daughter and the Savior fell away to nothing, leaving blackness in place of the disturbing truth that left a sickening taste in Cora’s mouth. She had hoped her daughter would have more sense than to act on her feelings, but she left that wretched woman no question as to how she truly felt with her little declaration of just how much _good_ she saw in her. It was utterly revolting, and it twisted Cora’s insides with rage and disbelief because her daughter… her daughter _knew better._

Perhaps though, not all was lost. Despite Regina’s silly little fantasy about the irritating blonde woman, something was still holding her back, which was proof enough by her exclamation that there was no _them._ And now, with the realization that her mother was in town, it was unlikely that she would ever attempt to go any further with whatever it was that she believed she ‘felt.’

No, Cora assured herself, she wouldn’t; because although Regina may be frivolous with her attentions, she was not a fool. Regina knew that she was being tested again, and she knew _exactly_ what that would mean should she fail.

“Warning received then, I take it?” Hook questioned, raising an eyebrow in her direction as he fiddled with the weapon attached to his hand. He sounded quite bored again, but his attention span did resemble that of a common gnat.

“Yes,” Cora murmured, trying to sound pleased. But she was still so far from it, and wouldn’t draw nearer until she knew for certain that Regina wouldn’t dare _think_ of disobeying her again. It would take time, it would take _patience,_ which she was sure the pirate would balk about, but this was a delicate situation and, as such, needed to be handled just so. Cora took her duties as a mother very seriously, and if she was going to do this, then it needed to be done right. There was no other option.

“Yes,” she repeated, staring at the blackened image in the mirror. “She knows.”

[x]

“Mom, what’s—?!” Henry tried to ask, having rushed out the moment he heard something break. But he barely even got the sentence out, because Regina’s maternal instincts kicked in so fiercely that she could think of nothing else in that moment than protecting her son.

“Get back to your room!” Regina demanded, sounding completely frantic as she rushed towards the bottom of the stairwell to look up at the boy’s perplexed expression. But oh god, if she was here, then he was in danger, and she _couldn’t—_

“Regina, what the hell is going on?!”

“Mom…?”

“ _Now,_ Henry!” she exclaimed, voice so high now that she was nearly shrieking. “And smash all the mirrors when you get in there; _do it!_ ”

Henry, at least able to realize that his mother wouldn’t act like this unless there was a very _real_ sense of danger, immediately did what he was told. As soon as she heard the door shut behind him, Regina mustered up as much magic as she could without causing herself to overexert and pass out, forming a barrier around the child’s room. At the moment it was the best she could do; Regina knew there was no chance of protecting the entire manor with the kind of mental state she was in, that required far more concentration than she could devote to the task right now. As it was already, she felt like the weight of the information was going to cripple her.

“Regina, what the _hell—”_

“My mother,” Regina gasped out, feeling a little lightheaded from both her overwhelming emotions and the amount of magic it used to cloak the room. Defensive enchantments were far more difficult for her than offensive ones, and so she grasped onto Emma’s arm to steady herself before slipping down to sit heavily atop the bottom step of her staircase.

Oh God… this couldn’t be happening right now. She felt like she couldn’t breathe.

“Cora?” Emma questioned, her worried tone laced with skepticism as she knelt down in front of the brunette to get at eye level. Her hand was placed atop Regina’s knee, just trying to give her some sort of comfort where there was none, not when _she_ was involved, and tried to explain to her in a patient voice meant only for children and imbeciles, “Regina, she’s trapped in the Enchanted Forest. There’s no way she could have—”

“She did,” Regina insisted, her throat tightening painfully as she placed her trembling hands over her eyes. It was taking every ounce of strength inside of her to not just crumple herself into the fetal position and cry. “She _has!_ I don’t know how, but she’s _here._ She’s—!”

“Regina, come on, we sealed up the well—”

“ _There are other ways!_ ” Regina shouted as she tore her hands away from her face, a furious expression etched across her features. She wasn’t being _paranoid,_ she knew her mother; she knew exactly how she operated, and this bore her markings from top to bottom. “And my mother is nothing but persistent; when she sets a goal for herself, she achieves it. She has never failed in _anything_ she has set out to do, and we were all complete _idiots_ for thinking that this was over!”

It wasn’t, and it never would be; not until one of them was dead. Regina had thought—she thought it was done, after she sent Hook, she had _thought_ her mother was gone forever, but then…

“Look, just… just take a breath for a second, okay?” Emma tried, looking a little overwhelmed by the severity and suddenness of Regina’s reaction. “You gotta look at this rationally, okay? Cause even if your mother _was_ here and was walking around looking like me, the last thing she’d probably do is sexually assault her own kid, you know? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know Cora’s a piece of work and all, but I really don’t think that’s—”

But Regina just sat there, saying absolutely nothing, and apparently that spoke _volumes._ Suddenly the words ceased and Emma’s face paled, looking as though the conclusion she had jumped to might very well make her vomit her lunch all over Regina’s nicely polished floors. Humiliation and shame crept up Regina’s spine, and it made her want to tear her skin off and set fire to the world around her.

“Oh my god,” Emma breathed, sounding positively revolted and even worse, _sympathetic._ “Please don’t tell me she was the one—”

But Emma’s words, the very fact that she would dare _voice_ something like that, despite it being correct or not, caused the shame in Regina’s gut to lay waste to an instantaneous rage and offense, unable to stomach how Emma, how _anyone_ would look at her should they know the truth of it. Unable to stomach how she would view _herself_ after accepting such a revolting weakness; because saying it… God, _saying_ it made it real.

“Of course not, don’t be disgusting!” Regina snapped, giving Emma a look that could cut glass. “My mother wouldn’t filthy her hands with the likes of a mere warning anyhow. And that’s what that was, a _warning;_ because believe me, should she have been teaching me a lesson, you’d be dead right now.”

Emma blinked. “Me?”

Regina furiously held out her hands, feeling too goddamn _helpless_ right now to deal with any kind of idiocy from the woman in front of her, and snapped, “Yes, _you._ Or were you unclear by my mother’s message when she made her newest lackey _wear your face?_ ”

“No, I—” Emma tried, but her words fell away to nothing and she just looked completely perplexed. She took a couple breaths, just trying to sort out her thoughts, before finally saying, “Look, I’m just… I’m not saying you’re wrong, okay? But this just doesn’t make sense. Your mom comes to town, and yet instead of enacting vengeance on all of us for fucking her over, she starts screwing with your lo—” But the blonde stopped mid-sentence, apparently not wanting to use to such a label yet. “I mean your se—fuck, I don’t know what to call it, but the _feelings_ aspect of your life? Seriously though, why the hell would she even be concerned with us, out of the hundred other—”

“ _Because I am all that matters!_ ” Regina exclaimed, completely frustrated by this point and wishing that for once, just _once,_ Emma would get it. That she would trust her word on this, because it wasn’t just Emma’s life in danger right now. It was their son’s.

“Her entire life revolves around me. She doesn’t care about you or anyone else in this town, and she certainly didn’t come here to start a war. If she’s here, she’s here for _me._ And my mother, she… she does _not_ like when I care for anyone but her, and has always gone to great lengths to eradicate anyone else from my life.” Regina looked her dead in the eyes then, and annunciated, “That means _you;_ but more importantly, that means _Henry._ ”

Emma’s eyes flickered up the stairwell to their son’s room before she pursed her lips and looked back at her. And damnit, Regina recognized that godforsaken look on her face; like despite everything else going on, Emma was replaying only one thing in her mind, and it made Regina hate how happy it made her look, because it was causing her stomach to do this irritating little flip inside her gut.

“Don’t,” she warned, not wanting to hear it.

“I’m not—”

“I can see it all over your face. It changes _nothing._ ”

“I wasn’t expecting—” Emma tried, but just ended up cutting herself off with a sigh. Chewing on her bottom lip, the blonde casually gestured with her hands, trying to downplay her next words of, “It was just… nice to hear, or whatever. Okay? That’s it. I’m not trying to push or—”

“Oh my god, will you _focus?_ ” Regina snapped, forcefully grabbing Emma’s chin in her hand to pull her closer, the movement smashing the woman’s lips together and making her look a little like a confounded duck. It would have been amusing, if not for the severity of the situation. “Our emotionally stunted quasi-romance bears no importance right now. So unless kissing the _stupid_ out of you is going to help your tiny brain pay attention to what’s actually important, you need to stop wishing for things that are never going to happ—”

Oh, for _Christ’s_ sake.

Regina’s hand heavily collided with the back of Emma’s head, wiping the intrigued look off of her face in an instant. “Fuck, ow…!”

“This is not a _game!_ ” Regina stressed, now starting get really furious that Emma wasn’t taking this seriously. “You have no idea what my mother is capable of, so unless you take Henry and you leave town—!”

“Okay, _whoa_ , Regina, slow down!” Emma pleaded, finally having her head back in the present. Perhaps she should hit her more often. “You’re like twelve steps ahead of where we’re at, alright? We don’t even know for sure if she’s here, and I’m not about to run off with Henry to God knows where on a hunch, alright? It could just be Gold fucking with us, or—”

“It isn’t!” Regina exclaimed, trying to suppress the urge to throttle her senseless. Why wouldn’t she just _listen?_ “What gain would there be in that for him? That isn’t how he operates; but I know my mother, and I _know—!_ ”

“Regina, please,” Emma tried, placing her hands on the other woman’s arms and looking up at her with a hint of desperation. “ _Please_ just relax. I’m not discrediting your fear, alright? And I’m definitely not denying that someone’s screwing with you, but we need more information before we resort to drastic measures. I can call my parents—”

“Oh please,” Regina scoffed, unable to fathom why Emma would ever think _that_ was an intelligent option. “Those incompetents could barely handle _me_ ; if put up against my mother—”

“Right, I know; you hate them and think they’re idiots, okay? I get it,” Emma interrupted, beginning to look exasperated. “But if Cora’s in town then they need to know about it. That woman is a huge threat, not just to you or to me or to Henry, but to the entire town. Okay? Because even if she’s here for you, I really doubt that after she achieves it she’s going to go off and play ‘house’ somewhere in the woodlands of Maine with you. If she’s _that_ obsessed, then she’s going to want to give you back your power.”

For once Regina stayed silent, for she knew that was true. Eradicating Emma and Henry from her life would only be her first step, as Cora expected far too many things from her to just allow Regina to live her life as anything less than a queen. Kingdom or not, by the time she was finished, Cora would see to it that she ruled Storybrooke and everyone in it.

Which wouldn’t be the most terrible thing, but Regina did _not_ want to pay the price to achieve it.

“So just… please,” Emma continued, her voice a little gentler this time around as she took the brunette’s hands in her own. “Let’s take this one step at a time. Right now we’ll do whatever we can to protect the house, protect our son, but let’s not resort to running until we know for sure, okay?”

Regina swallowed hard, her gaze falling to their clasped hands. In the back of her mind she was praying that Emma was right; that it was someone else, that perhaps her paranoia wasn’t warranted, because if this was real, if she was _right..._

And it was perhaps that feeble hope, that aching desperation for her nightmare to not come knocking on her front door, that caused Regina to second guess herself, and to finally mutter a resigned, “Fine,” despite knowing, deep in her heart, that it was foolish to hope for a freedom that would never truly be allotted her.

**TBC…**


	5. The Mother

**CHAPTER FIVE  
The Mother**

“I assume that at some point you’re actually going to tell your father and I why all the mirrors are smashed in our apartment?”

Emma chewed on the inside of her cheek, shooting Mary Margaret an apologetic look as she cradled her cup of coffee between her hands. It was a precaution, per Regina’s insistence; her mother apparently had a really annoying habit of spying on people through them. It was why Regina was so convinced it was her; since whatever was sorta-maybe happening between them right now was basically a private thing, Regina had concluded that someone must have been spying on them to have known about it. 

Which… okay, yeah; Emma will give her that over the last few days, ninety percent of the time she was embarrassing herself it was at Regina’s house, but they also talked about some stuff outside of the diner, and while neither of them thought they were being overheard at the time, it wasn’t entirely farfetched that they could have been, right? Gold, for one, had always been one sneaky ass motherfucker.

Not to mention that someone else in town (and by someone, that narrowed it down to the vast majority), could have been dabbling with magic with vengeance in mind; Regina didn’t exactly have a short list of enemies here. Not that that excused it, because Emma was fucking _livid_ that someone had used _her_ face to screw with the woman she… just the damn woman that she cared about, you know? That wasn’t just stepping over the line, that was dropkicking it across a goddamn football field.

And yeah, Emma Swan was _pissed._

Regardless of the endless amount of theories though, Regina still wasn’t convinced that it could have been anyone else but Cora. Emma never got the specific details of what happened that night, just the show and tell of bruises and the educated guess that it sent Regina into another panic attack that the woman only referred to as ‘that kind of reaction’. But it was that reaction that Regina was certain was the entire point of the assault, which made her dismiss the theory that it could be anyone else. _No one_ , she had stressed, knew about that save Emma and her mother.

Which, by the way, did not exactly fill the blonde’s heart with warm fuzzies. 

Even if Cora wasn’t the one who… who had done that to her, (as before Emma had the chance to ask ‘what about…?’ _your attacker,_ Regina had responded with a flat warning of, “Dead. And that is the last we will speak of it for as long as either of us live, is that clear? My business is _not_ yours.”) Emma highly doubted that should Regina have run to her mother after it happened, Cora would have even done anything to comfort her. Because for fuck’s sake, Regina was now talking about the woman being _responsible_ for the brutal reminder of her past, using that shit as some kind of fucked up warning, and if anything, Emma was now convinced that even if Cora hadn’t done anything to Regina herself, that she had instructed someone else to do it on her behest. Which was… fuck, that just made Emma want to rip the world apart.

Mothers were supposed to love their children, or at least so Emma had always assumed, and yet even the mere _thought_ of Cora elicited such a fear inside of Regina that she magically sealed her and her son inside their house. She had even pleaded for _Emma_ not to leave until they were certain that her mother wasn’t there and that they were all safe, but after promising this morning that she would keep her gun on her at all times and smash every mirror she came across, Regina reluctantly allowed her to go back to her apartment and at least get some of her and Henry’s belongings.

And to talk to her parents because, well, they were bound to have some questions as to why she and Henry were now shacking up at the Evil Queen’s house.

“Emma?”

Emma looked up to meet her mother’s questioning gaze, realizing that she must have checked out for a minute there. “Sorry,” she apologized, shaking her head in an attempt to clear it. “Just… thinking.”

Emma watched as Mary Margaret poured herself a fresh cup of coffee, and before the woman could ask again about the mirrors, she asked a question of her own. “You knew Cora, right?” the Sherriff queried, fingernails tapping lightly on the ceramic of the mug between her hands. “You know… before?”

Her mother’s brows rose at the unexpected question as she placed the coffee pot back on its burner. “Briefly,” she answered. “Cora disappeared on Regina’s wedding day. When I was older, I had assumed Regina killed her, but… well.” Mary Margaret’s eyes met hers, and Emma pursed her lips in response. Yeah, they both had seen how very _wrong_ that theory was first hand.

As Mary Margaret began to pour some milk into her mug, she questioned, “Why do you ask?” 

“Just trying to figure something out,” Emma replied evasively, because she knew the second she told her mother Regina’s theory, that the information gathering phase would be put on hold for figure-the-fuck-out-if-Regina’s-right phase. Which was important and needed to happen, because even if Regina was wrong it was still better to be safe than sorry; but still, before she headed back to the manor, Emma wanted to get some answers that she knew the former queen would never actually give her herself. 

Which in a way was probably like her going behind Regina’s back, but… this was because she _cared,_ not because she was trying to betray her in some way. Emma just wanted to know exactly who she was dealing with, should Regina’s theory be correct.

“How was she… with Regina?” Emma asked tentatively, hoping she wasn’t arousing suspicion, even though that was probably a feeble hope. It wasn’t as though she asked about Regina’s life often, and already Mary Margaret was arching an eyebrow at her as she dumped a spoonful of sugar into her mug.

“What do you mean?”

“Like…” Emma worried her bottom lip for a moment as she thought of how to word this. “Was she affectionate? Did she love her?”

Mary Margaret was still looking at her a bit strangely for the topic of conversation, but seemed to let it slide for curiosities sake as she took a seat on the stool opposite of her. “Affectionate? Yes, very much. She doted on Regina; she was her only child, her pride and joy. _Loved_ her, though? Well…”

“You don’t think she did?”

Mary Margaret shot her a look like she was being thick. “Cora killed Regina’s True Love, just to ensure that she would marry my father,” she reminded her, which made Emma nearly slap herself on the forehead because fuck, _Daniel._ She had forgotten, because when Mary Margaret had tried to fill in the blanks of the past and why the feud between she and Regina had started, it was all at once and in a land filled with danger and distraction. It had stuck, but obviously not well. Now that she was speaking about it though, Emma was able to remember the highlights; which by the way, painted one of the shittiest pictures she had ever seen.

Not that Emma was condoning the stuff Regina had done in her life, but it wasn’t hard to see why she had snapped either.

“So no,” Mary Margaret continued, placing her hands around her coffee cup to warm them. “I don’t think she did. Whatever that was done out of, it certainly wasn’t love.”

Emma had to agree there.

After taking a hesitant sip of her coffee, Emma asked the one question that was burning in the back of her mind, because despite Regina’s instance that Cora wasn’t to blame for whatever had happened that causes her to have panic attacks, Emma still had her doubts. “Do you think she was abusive?”

Mary Margaret’s eyebrows rose at the question. “Physically?”

“Or… whatever else.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it,” her mother answered, and damnit, Emma could see the curiosity burning brighter behind her green eyes. She wasn’t going to get away with asking questions without having to answer a few of her own for very much longer. “Cora was very strict with her, and in knowing now exactly what she’s capable of, I really wouldn’t put it past that wretched woman to have carried out Regina’s punishments in some terrible manner.” The ceramic mug clanked against the marble counter as she put it down suddenly, asking, “Emma…?”

Emma exhaled a long breath, answering the unvoiced question with a resigned, “Regina thinks she’s in town.”

Mary Margaret’s eyes widened, all the innocent curiosity draining from her face to leave an alarmed expression in its wake. “ _…What?_ ” Her coffee forgotten, the brunette straightened her spine as she leaned across the island counter. “What happened? Emma, why wasn’t that the _first—?_ ”

“Because Regina’s _flipping out,_ ” Emma annunciated, needing her mother to understand why she wasn’t just jumping on the ‘Cora’s here, rally the troops’ bandwagon. “With no proof, I should probably add. And I’m not saying she’s _wrong,_ but I’m just trying to figure out if this is just some kind of traumatic childhood paranoia, or something actually legit. I mean, what happened could have just _reminded_ her of what Cora used to do to her, you know? And now she’s blowing the whole thing out of proportion because of… I don’t know, some kind of PTSD or something. People do that, right?”

“Emma, _what happened?_ ” Mary Margaret demanded, her expression deadly serious. The blonde chewed on the inside of her cheek in response, trying to think of how to word this for, well, obvious reasons. Her mother _really_ didn’t need to know what may or may not be going on with her and Regina right now.

“Someone assaulted Regina two nights ago,” she explained. “And they… uh, sorta looked a whole lot like me while doing it. Regina’s convinced it’s some kind of warning from her mother.”

Mary Margaret’s brow crinkled. “Looked like _you?_ ” she asked, surprised. “Why?”

“I don’t know, magic?”

“That’s not what I was asking,” her mother responded, shooting Emma a look like she should have known better than to try to skirt the question by answering like that. “Why would anyone, Cora or not, disguise themselves like you to assault her?”

Fuck.

Her nails clinking anxiously against the coffee cup between her hands, Emma tried to downplay it with a half shrug and a, “I don’t know, maybe no one likes her having a friend?”

Mary Margaret’s eyebrows rose in disbelief. “A friend?” she repeated, like the damn word was Russian or something, for all the sense it made to her.

Emma exhaled a long breath; she knew this wasn’t going to be received well, but it was a hell of a lot better than the alternative. “Look, I get that with… well, _everything_ that’s happened between you guys, you’re not going to approve. And you’re allowed to not like it; but for once in her life, Regina’s actually _trying_ to be a better person, you know? She wants to do better for Henry, and I just…” The blonde shrugged softly, almost apologetically. “I think she’d do better with it if she had someone around to talk to, that’s all.”

“She _talks_ to you?” her mother asked, apparently flabbergasted by the thought that Regina would willingly talk to _anyone._ Which, okay, did sound kind of farfetched. Regina wasn’t exactly the share and care type, after all.

“Well, I talk,” Emma corrected, just before the thought of Regina caused a small smirk to hint at the corners of her lips. “She snarks in between being judgmental and condescending. Although sometimes I get a backhanded compliment, so there’s that.”

Mary Margaret raised an eyebrow, her expression filled with her own judgment and utter perplexion. “And that’s… friendship to you.” It wasn’t even a question, not really; more a disbelieving statement than anything else. It kind of looked as though Mary Margaret was wondering what kind of dysfunctional relationships her daughter must have had as a child, to consider that to be ‘friendly.’

But for Regina, it kinda was. Besides, there was way more to how Regina looked at and interacted with her now obviously, but that wasn’t exactly something Emma felt like sharing today. Or possibly ever, because she was pretty sure Mary Margaret’s head would explode and David would stomp off to Regina’s house with a freaking broadsword.

Emma rolled her eyes at the look her mother was giving her. “Look, I’m not saying we’re about to have sleepovers and braid each other’s hair, but we’ve hung out—” She paused, assessing the truth in that statement before she reiterated, “Okay, we’ve been _around_ each other for a few extended periods of time and she’s willingly stayed in my vicinity, so yeah, for Regina, I’m about as close to a friend as she has right now.”

Mary Margaret was still side-eying her, like she wasn’t sure if she should take Emma straight to Archie for a little ‘talk’, or to Whale for a fucking lobotomy, but the only thing she said in response was, “We’ll talk about this later.” 

Emma sighed. Right, of course they would.

Her mother moved on though, deeming that new information less important than everything else that was currently going on. “So someone accosted Regina—”

“Assaulted,” Emma corrected, needing to make the distinction because there was a huge freaking difference between someone just yelling at her and someone actually putting their hands on her. “Physically.”

Mary Margaret was silent for a moment, before apparently deciding that yes, it might be okay to have something resembling actual concern for her mortal enemy and asked, “…Is she alright?”

“Just some bruises,” Emma answered, shifting in her seat as she looked down at her now empty coffee mug. “But… fuck, it’s really freaking her out; like in a very bad way. And you know Regina; when the hell has she ever run scared from a fight?”

“Never,” her mother answered without hesitation, because when someone pushed Regina, she always pushed back twice as hard. After putting her cup to her lips to take a moment to think, Mary Margaret placed it back down on the counter and asked, “So she assumes it’s her mother based on the fact that violence was involved and that whoever it was used your face to do it?”

“Basically,” Emma confirmed. “According to Regina, Cora’s really possessive. It was a warning to stay away from me, I guess; otherwise I’m going to wind up dead.” Her mother’s brow rose at those words, and off of her alarmed look Emma pointedly reminded her, “Regina’s theory, not fact. For all we know, it could be Gold pulling some kind of douche move for whatever underhanded reason, or someone else just wanting to scare her.”

“Either way,” Emma continued, rising from her seat to put her mug in the dishwasher. “I’m still pissed as hell that someone pulled this shit looking like _me,_ so I need to get to the bottom of it so I can throw whosever ass it is behind bars. Preferably pretty quickly too, so my kid can go back to school. Or, you know, generally breathe in some fresh air.”

“What? I thought he was sick,” Mary Margaret exclaimed as she swiveled around on the barstool to face her daughter, looking really confused. “Regina called the school this morning and said—”

“Freaking out, remember?” Emma interrupted, shooting her a pointed look as she shut the dishwasher. “She’s completely barricaded her and Henry inside that house; put some kind of protection spell on it or something. She barely let _me_ out this morning to get some of my stuff and to talk to you guys, and the only reason she did was because I had a gun and I promised to smash every mirror I saw so Cora wouldn’t be able to use them.” Shooting her an apologetic look, she added, “Sorry, by the way. I’ll replace them later.”

Mary Margaret waved that off, deeming that completely unimportant in light of, “You slept _over?_ ”

Oh.

“In the guestroom.”

Which wasn’t a lie. After what had happened last time in Regina’s bed, Emma wasn’t expecting her to be up for sharing again anytime soon. 

And it wasn’t like Emma was some kind of animal and unable to keep her hands to herself, but at this point, she was about ninety eight percent positive that whatever feelings she had for Regina were returned to her, and it was just that the woman felt as though she couldn’t act on them because of her past. Which was understandable, and Emma got why Regina wouldn’t want any kind of temptation that could send her into another panic attack if things went too far, but…

Was it entirely lame to say that she wouldn’t mind just being her big spoon?

Oh my god, that was even embarrassing to say in her head. 

Emma inwardly groaned, chastising herself for how stupidly fast this damn crush was progressing because what the hell, it was like she had opened a damn floodgate and now all this teenage-esque angst and longing was spilling out of her and making her the most pathetic person on the planet. She was like Regina’s puppy almost, except she shed a whole lot less.

Well, on most days anyway.

“Emma?”

“What?” Emma asked, snapping out of her thoughts and quickly turning towards her mother, hoping that what she was thinking about wasn’t written all over her face. Mary Margaret had her eyebrows raised expectantly.

“I asked why she’s having you sleep there if she thinks the warning means that she should stay away from you.”

Oh. Good question actually.

“I don’t know, maybe she thinks I’m safer in an impenetrable fortress?” Emma responded, shrugging because really, now that she thought about it that probably was the last thing Regina should do. “Maybe she thinks the warning isn’t a ‘do this or else’ but ‘this is what’s going to come because you screwed up?’ I really don’t know, but what I _do_ know is that this is scaring the living hell out of her, so for her sanity and my freedom’s sake, I need to figure out what the hell is going on.”

“God,” Mary Margaret breathed, looking a little overwhelmed and actually a tad concerned on Regina’s behalf. “She’s really that bad off right now?”

“Yeah,” Emma quietly confirmed. She pursed her lips as she leaned up against the counter and continued, “And you know, maybe it’s an asshole move to not believe her straight off about all this, but for her sake I’m hoping that this was all just some really badly timed shit, you know? I mean she _just_ found out that her mother’s alive and in the Enchanted Forest, and if Cora was that abusive to her then of course she would link her attack to that and get paranoid. I think anyone who grew up that way would. And she’s basically gone into a full-fledged panic by just the _thought_ of Cora being in town, so if it turns out she actually is…”

“I’m sure she’s not,” Mary Margaret tried to assure her, rising from her seat to place a comforting hand on her daughter’s arm. “But I’ll speak to David once he gets back from the store and catch him up. Cora or not, we’ll help you find out what’s going on.”

Emma shot her a tightlipped smile in gratitude. “Thanks.”

She just hoped answers would come sooner rather than later, because the last time Regina panicked about Cora she had nearly killed Emma and Mary Margaret in the process, and then herself once she sucked up the curse that was meant to be her mother’s death sentence in order for _them_ to survive. Regina was irrational and impulsive when she was afraid, and if this past week proved anything, it was that Cora had been and always would be her biggest fear.

[x]

_Boom!_

The loud sound reverberated through the entire manor, causing Henry to nearly jump out of his skin. “What was that?!” There was a crackle that followed, then a slight hiss as everything settled once more. Regina struggled to swallow the sudden tightness in her throat.

“The barrier.”

Henry looked up at her, a cross between worried and morbidly curious, and as mother and son rose from the couch, Regina placed her hand on Henry’s shoulder and encouraged, “Go upstairs. Don’t come down until I tell you to, do you understand me?”

“Do you think its Cora?” Henry asked softly, eyes so wide that Regina couldn’t bear scaring him, and so she forced an encouraging smile towards her son.

“I’m sure it was just a bird that got a little too close,” she lied, because the spell was centered on keeping things _out_ , and would only react as such unless someone was trying to actively get in, through magical means or otherwise; not just because an unsuspecting bird perched on the roof. “But go upstairs while I check, okay?”

“Okay,” Henry quietly relented, although still looked concerned. He did as he was told however, and as he took the stairs two at a time, Regina carefully made her way over to the front door.

Her heart was pounding in her throat, and Regina wished that she could find the strength to not be afraid. Her entire reign as Queen consisted of people trying to kill her, and yet she could rarely be bothered with even being concerned about it. Regina had confidence in her own strength, her own abilities, her own will to _survive._ And it wasn’t as though any of those things had left her, but there was just something about her _mother_ that seemed to revert her to nothing more than a scared child again, curled up in her bed shaking and crying and hoping that Mommy wouldn’t come back to teach a second lesson.

It was a weakness, a terrible one at that, and Regina despised herself for letting it overtake her like this. 

But as she pressed her face to the peephole and looked out to find the source of the disturbance, a relieved, exasperated, and utterly _annoyed_ sigh left her lips. “That _idiot._ ”

Passing her hand over the door, Regina temporarily dispelled the barrier before ripping the door open in a huff, her eyes landing on a groaning Emma Swan who was sprawled out on her concrete walkway, her bags scattered across the front lawn. “This is precisely why I told you to _call!_ ”

“Well I _forgot,_ ” Emma bit back angrily, trying to hoist herself to a seated position. She winced, no doubt having bruised herself when she went flying backwards from the front door, and when she lifted the arm that she had landed on to inspect the damage, she muttered a resigned, “…Shit.” Elbow to wrist was scraped up pretty badly, the dirt mixing with the blood, and Regina exhaled an exasperated sigh.

“Get up,” she instructed. “Come inside.” Her eyes flickering across the expanse of the lawn, Regina suddenly found her paranoia to have returned tenfold as she ordered, “ _Quickly._ ”

Muttering something underneath her breath, Emma got to her feet and began picking up her bags. But just as she was about to head towards the house, another intense bout of irrational fear struck Regina so fiercely that within an instant she had thrown a spell at Emma, magically freezing her in place.

“Regina, what the _hell…?_ ”

Quickly racking her brain for a way to test if the Emma that stood before her was the real one, Regina found her mind going to the one time she knew that they were alone and weren’t being monitored; after the mirrors in her house had been smashed. “Why did I smack you on the back of the head yesterday afternoon?”

Emma looked at her like she had gone insane. “ _What?_ ”

“Just answer the question!”

Emma blinked, but then seemed to understand why Regina was asking her that and her face softened in recognition and near-sympathy for how damn paranoid she was being. But God, it wasn’t as though she was being irrational; her mother had already used Emma’s face once to get to her, it wouldn’t exactly be farfetched to assume that she would do it a second time!

“You were talking about kissing the stupid out of me so that I’d pay attention,” she answered. “And… I kinda wished that you would’ve, which apparently you didn’t approve of.”

Her tongue snaking out briefly to wet her parched lips, Regina scrutinized the woman for a moment before deciding that yes, considering her answer and how intently the woman was now staring at her mouth, it was probably safe to assume that this was the real Emma. Her mother would never be so blatant with her desires, playing a role or not, while Emma apparently had no shame.

A quick flick of the wrist and Emma was released. “Come inside,” she ordered, and the blonde was quick to accommodate. Once the door was closed and the barrier reset, Emma dropped her bags in the foyer with a thud and a small grimace of pain.

“Jesus, Regina, that thing really packs a punch.”

“Yes, dear; _that’s_ the point,” Regina answered with a small sigh, before turning towards the stairs and calling out, “Henry?”

There was the sound of a door opening, then feet padding across the hallway until the boy reached the top of the stairs, looking down at them. “It’s alright, dear; it was only your imbecile of a birthmother demonstrating her lack of listening skills,” Regina informed him, to which Emma scowled at and Henry looked a little amused.

“Did you bring my 3DS?” he asked as he quickly made his way down the stairs, and Emma looked at him with exasperated disbelief.

“Yeah, kid,” she answered, before pointedly adding, “And I’m _fine,_ by the way. Thanks for the concern.”

Henry just shrugged as he started rummaging through the bags that Emma brought. “Mom warned you,” was all he said, and as Emma just responded with an irritated pout, Regina smirked. Within only a few seconds Henry had found what he was looking for however, and he took off towards the parlor with only a parting of a distracted and excited sounding, “Thanks!” before he disappeared into the other room. 

Emma just held out her hands haplessly as she watched him go. “This is all I’m good for now. _Toys._ ” Regina chuckled.

“Welcome to motherhood, Miss Swan.”

Emma released an overdramatic breath, causing the strand of hair hanging in her eyes to fly upwards as she slumped against the far wall. Trying to suppress her smile at how awkwardly adorable the irritating woman managed to be sometimes, Regina turned from her and headed towards the kitchen requesting, “Come along, dear.”

“Huh?” Emma asked, straightening up from off the wall. But Regina said nothing more and disappeared around the corner, so Emma could do nothing else but follow along behind her. When she reached the entrance of the kitchen, Regina pointed at the large sink inside and Emma blinked in realization. “Oh.”

“Run some water over your arm while I get some antiseptics,” Regina instructed before turning and heading towards the downstairs bathroom. After gathering what she needed, she headed back into the kitchen to see the blonde hunched over her sink, her shirt sleeve rolled up all the way to her shoulder as she held her arm under the running water.

And really, it wasn’t as though Regina hadn’t seen the woman’s arms before. She was well aware of just how well-defined and muscular they were, but there was something about the way that Emma was holding it under the water, just slightly bent towards her as she looked down at it, blonde hair swooped over to one side of her neck that… well, caused Regina to just _stare._

Very blatantly, she might add, as Emma seemed to feel her eyes on her; and when she looked up and took in the expression on Regina’s face, her brow crinkled and she asked, “What?” Looking down at herself, Emma started to get paranoid and asked, “What’s wrong with me? Do I have dirt on my ass or something?” She tried to twist around to look, grasping at her shirt to try to move it for a better view, apparently becoming a little frantic that she had inadvertently managed to embarrass herself further because of her earlier idiocy.

Regina blinked, trying to clear her mind of thoughts that would do nothing else but cause her misery and heartache, before quickly responding with, “Nothing, dear.” The words seemed to stick in her throat though and Regina had to clear it before assuring her, probably a bit too softly for her own liking, “Nothing’s wrong with you.”

Which was the god awful truth of it, really.

Emma stopped fumbling almost immediately and snapped her head back towards Regina, having heard something in her tone that the brunette internally berated herself for ever allowing to slip through. But before Emma could say anything, Regina cleared her throat for a second time and moved towards her, getting back down to business with, “Let me see your arm.”

Emma hesitated, looking as though she were debating on whether or not she should open her mouth and broach a topic she should _really_ stay away from, but in the end she said nothing, and just held out her arm to Regina in offering. The woman had done a respectable job of cleaning it off, as all of the blood and dirt were gone now, and Regina put her supplies on the kitchen counter before gently guiding her to hold it over the sink.

“This may sting,” Regina warned, grabbing the hydrogen peroxide and twisting off the top.

“I know, Regina; I’m not a chil—sssst!” Emma hissed as the liquid was poured on her arm, cutting off her own sentence as she grimaced. The liquid began to bubble around the cuts, and she breathed out a whiney sounding, “Shit,” just before Regina began to pat it dry with a clean towel. The brunette smirked, having already expected Emma to handle this more like a child than an adult.

“Language, Miss Swan,” she tutted, causing the blonde to roll her eyes.

“Again, not a child.”

Regina just clucked her tongue in response, commenting her amused disbelief on the matter without _actually_ commenting on it, while she continued to dab lightly at Emma’s skin. This was twice now, in only a handful of days, that Regina had had to take care of her; it was a wonder how the woman even managed to get up in the morning on her own, considering she could easily be labeled a walking accident at this point.

Well, perhaps that wasn’t entirely true. Both times Emma was hurt because of Regina’s own doing; her fist, her spell. Still, the latter could have been prevented should the blonde have only listened.

Emma watched as Regina dabbed at her skin, chewing absentmindedly on her bottom lip. It was utterly distracting, and the brunette found herself watching Emma’s mouth instead of what she was doing. Eventually she stopped dabbing at all; just pressing the cloth against Emma’s skin without yet coming to the realization that she had completely abandoned her task. At least, that was, until Emma looked up and met her gaze.

Regina’s breath caught in her throat, not having realized how close they really were to one another until just that moment. Their faces were mere inches apart, and suddenly it felt like her stomach was doing backflips inside of her as Emma glanced downwards at her lips, never really one to be subtle with what she was thinking. 

Feeling a heat rise through her, Regina tried to do everything she could to ignore it as she demanded, “Don’t you dare kiss me.” Her voice was barely above a whisper though, the tension between them suppressing its volume, and it came out sounding awfully pathetic and not at all like what she really wanted.

Emma’s gaze flickered back up to her eyes but, like Regina, she didn’t move away to break the palpable tension that had formed between them. “I wasn’t going to.” Her voice was just as soft, and it did something to Regina that she rather wished it didn’t.

“I could see you thinking about it,” Regina accused, which only caused a small smirk to grace itself across the blonde’s face. She arched an eyebrow at her.

“Well apparently I wasn’t the only one.”

She bit her bottom lip then as she smiled at Regina, and somehow it managed to look both cocky and innocently endearing, and the brunette had to tear her gaze away from Emma and step back, because dear lord, the woman was only making this harder. It wasn’t as if she _wanted_ to continuously reject her; Regina would much rather not have these kinds of fears, as all they were doing was causing her to deny herself a pleasure she would very much like to experience. But she couldn’t, because that just wasn’t who she was. 

It wasn’t who her mother had made her become.

Emma’s expression fell, and suddenly she looked apologetic and worried as her brow creased. “Regina, I’m sorry…” she tried, but the woman wouldn’t let her get the rest of it out.

“Don’t be,” Regina responded, her tone low with a touch of self-loathing as she replaced the cap back on the bottle of antiseptic. “It’s not your fault. I’m aware that despite my words, I’ve still been encouraging you. It’s selfish, and I’m sorry; I shouldn’t be leading you on like this.”

“I don’t think it really counts as ‘leading me on’ when you feel the same way I do,” Emma told her softly. She leaned awkwardly against the counter to look at her, and when Regina glanced back, the woman’s body language spelled out nothing but insecurity and doubt. It made a small pang go through Regina’s heart.

“Perhaps not, but I still can’t be with you. Not in the way you want me to.”

“I’m not asking to fuck you up against the wall, Regina,” Emma pointed out, sighing softly as she shrugged. “I’m not really asking for anything, because that’s the point, you know? I’d be happy with whatever you wanted to give me because it’d be a gift, not an expectation.” Shifting the weight between her feet, Emma continued, “Before… I guess before I just wanted you to have no doubts about where I was at right now, and now you know; and then I said I wouldn’t push, so I’m not going to. I can’t help whatever I feel when I’m near you, Regina, but I promised I wouldn’t act on it and I won’t.”

_A gift._

Regina couldn’t remember the last time anyone ever thought of anything she had to offer in that way, and it made a fire burn hot in the pit of her stomach as she glanced at the woman before her. “And what if I can’t give you anything?”

“Do you _want_ to not give me anything?”

Regina kept herself silent, and it was all the answer Emma needed. “I can be patient then,” she promised her, but Regina only scoffed at that, rolling her eyes in an effort to bring their interaction back to what was normal.

“I really don’t think that word is in your vocabulary, dear.”

Emma smirked, but relented with a, “Fine, then I can follow you around like some kind of pathetic, forlorn puppy until you throw me a bone. Either way.”

Regina side glanced her as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You truly have no sense of dignity, do you?” And she meant it to be a bit biting, really she did, but her heart wasn’t in the jibe. There was something to be said about how Emma wanted to _wait_ for her, and although Regina wished she could ignore the feeling and just kick the blonde off of her so the poor girl could find something better to latch onto, there was still a part of her that wanted to keep Emma on that damned leash.

God, she really wasn’t being fair to her.

And now Emma looked like she really _had_ been kicked, as even the softness to Regina’s tone did nothing to cushion the blow, and Regina’s heart clenched in her chest as she stepped towards her and apologized, “No, I—I’m sorry, Emma. I really didn’t mean that.”

“It’s okay,” Emma murmured, looking at her shoes as she shrugged it off. “It’s probably true anyway.” She released a sigh then, running a hand through her hair almost helplessly. “I don’t know why I’ve been acting like such a spaz lately, but it’s like I feel this… this kind of _pull_ , you know? And—”

“I know.”

Emma looked up at her in surprise, and Regina shot her a sad, tightlipped smile. Because she felt it too, something drawing her towards Emma, and even though Regina hadn’t felt for someone in a long time, she couldn’t remember it ever feeling like this. Perhaps it was just the whole ‘wanting something you can’t have’ aspect intensifying it, but it was of no matter, since it was still there and it didn’t seem to be going away anytime soon.

“Even _if,_ ” Regina began, finding that she needed to explain that what she wanted to do and what she could do were two very different things, “there was some part of me that wouldn’t be opposed to trying to explore this… _thing_ that we have, it makes no difference.” She paused for a moment then, looking regrettable before continuing, “My mother…”

Emma sighed heavily though, almost like she was disappointed that Regina was going there without proof again, when not twelve hours ago she had agreed to take things one step at a time. But come this morning Regina knew that that was foolish, because if nothing else, she trusted her gut instinct; and it was telling her that Cora was _here._

Still, Emma tried to reason, “Regina, we still don’t know if she’s even—”

“Let me finish,” Regina said sternly, and at once Emma fell silent as she bit the inside of her cheek. “Until we know otherwise, I’m treating this like a warning,” Regina continued. “And if staying away from you is going to make things safer for all of us…”

“But you’re _not,_ ” Emma interrupted, gesturing at the space between them with her hands. “Regina, I’m here; I’m _living_ with you, at least temporarily. So if the warning was really about you staying away from me otherwise she’d kill me, then why…?”

“Because it’s not about _you,_ ” Regina clarified, frustrated that Emma couldn’t see that. Hadn’t she already told her this before? Her mother only cared about her. “It’s about me.”

Emma furrowed her brow, still looking confused, so Regina exhaled a long breath and leaned back against the counter to explain.

“In either scenario… you still die,” she told her, voice becoming much softer, almost apologetic for ever getting Emma wrapped up in this mess. “The warning is my chance to make it much less painful for myself. And it’s never been about… it’s not your _physical_ presence in my life that bothers her, it’s your… romantic one, I suppose; for lack of a better term. And should I continue to pursue it, that spells the difference between whether or not you die quickly, or whether you die slowly while Henry and I are forced to bear witness to it.”

“So what, you’re just covering your bases just in case your mother _does_ get the chance to off me?” Emma asked, sounding really offended by Regina’s choice without even taking a second to process what it meant.

“Well would you prefer our _son_ watched on while you screamed in agony?” Regina shot back, holding out her hands like she didn’t understand why Emma couldn’t see the bigger picture. “I don’t know what you want from me, Emma, but right now I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve been given! And I have no _intention_ of letting her get to you, which is why you’re _here,_ since you seem to have forgotten!”

Emma exhaled a heavy sigh, shaking her head as she tangled her fingers in her hair. “No, you’re… you’re right, I’m sorry. I just…” Biting her lower lip, Emma scuffed her toe against the ground and shrugged helplessly. “I just don’t know what to do right now, honestly. Since you don’t want me leaving the house very often, if at all anymore, I don’t know how the hell I’m ever gonna prove to you that it wasn’t your mother who—”

“It _was,_ ” Regina insisted, quickly becoming angry due to how Emma’s lack of faith in her made her feel. “Why are you so apt to believe that I’m wrong?”

“Because!” Emma exclaimed, sounding really frustrated as she put her fists over her eyes, as if encouraging herself to have enough guts to actually speak. Suddenly the blonde released a resigned breath, threw down her hands, and continued, “And please, _please_ don’t take this the wrong way—”

“I wouldn’t hold your breath over it, dear.”

Sighing heavily, Emma just shook her head and slumped up against the counter, folding her arms across her chest and shooting Regina an apologetic look. “It just… it seems a little like you’re projecting your past trauma, Regina,” she told her, and god, the sympathy in her voice made Regina’s eyes go black with fury. “And it isn’t like I blame you for it; abuse victims nearly always have triggers like this. But there are a hundred other people in this town that hate you, that have motive and reason to enact some fucked up form of vengeance, yet you won’t even _consider_ them. And I get that you think the entire point of the attack was how you reacted to it, but it might not have been—”

“You. Weren’t. _There!_ ” Regina raged, advancing on the other woman as she furiously pointed at her. “You don’t know what happened, so don’t you dare stand there and think—!”

“Then tell me!” Emma exclaimed, gesturing at her imploringly. “Tell me why you’re so sure—”

“I heard her _voice!_ ”

And Regina thought that would end it, but those words only caused lines of sympathy to suddenly etch in Emma’s brow. “Regina…” she responded softly. “You had a panic attack. It was probably just in your head; and I think you know that, otherwise why were you so sure that it was me at first?”

And God, that actually made her stop. Regina’s throat felt like it was closing up as furious tears stung the back of her eyes because she _knew,_ she knew what she heard; but Emma was right, because she had only thought it was her imagination at first. But Regina couldn’t shake the feeling that despite that, she was still right, that her mother was still here, and it frustrated her so much that it physically _ached_ because, why the hell wouldn’t anyone believe her?

“I’m not going to apologize and tell you that I wish I was wrong, because I don’t,” Emma told her honestly, her tone soft so as to not make it seem like she was challenging her. “Regina, I don’t _want_ you to be right, because just the damn _memory_ of that bitch is enough to scare you senseless. The last thing I would ever want is for you to be subjected to anything like that again, okay? But just because I don’t want you to be right, doesn’t mean that I don’t think it could be a possibility either. I just… honestly, I just think it’s the one that’s least likely, is all.”

“Because you think I’m _insane?_ ” Regina snarled, furious and hurt and hating that she was letting Emma get to her like this. Hating that having her support _mattered;_ hating that without it, she felt like she was alone.

“No!” Emma quickly corrected. “No, Regina, I don’t—I’d never think that. But you were obviously traumatized by this woman as a child, and—”

“You know _nothing_ about my childhood!” Regina raged, her hand connecting roughly with Emma’s chest before fisting her shirt in her hand, forcing the woman to come just mere inches from her face as she snarled. “And if you ever dare speak like you do again, I swear to God, I will put a mirror in front of you and make you _watch_ as I rip your tongue straight from your mouth, so that maybe you can finally see what a _real_ victim looks like.”

But despite her anger, despite her attempt to make herself feel stronger by threatening the woman, the hurt Regina felt won out and her vision suddenly blurred. A singular tear scorched down her cheek, and it looked as though just the sight of it broke Emma’s heart.

“Regina…”

But Regina didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to be here, she didn’t want to be subjected to _this,_ because all it did was make her feel foolish and weak and hopeless. She furiously shoved Emma back as she let her go, whirling around so she could storm off with the hope of salvaging what little dignity she had left.

“Regina, please don’t—”

“ _No,_ ” Regina interrupted firmly, wishing that the word came out a whole lot stronger than it actually did. As she turned back towards Emma, she warned her, “You do _not_ get to speak to me. You may stay in this house, you may stay under my protection, but you may _not_ speak to me. I no longer want to hear anything you have to say.”

And then Regina was gone, her tears blurring her vision once again as she stormed up the stairs and into her bedroom before slamming the door in her wake, hoping that if nothing else, it would mask the sound of her sobbing into her pillows.

**TBC…**


	6. The Daughter

**CHAPTER SIX  
The Daughter**

She was beautiful. With a sun-kissed complexion and hair as black as night tumbling down her back in loose ringlets, it was almost a wonder how such a gift was bestowed upon someone so unworthy. Dressed in simple clothes, the young girl tended to her daughter’s measurements while Regina watched on, her gaze settled on the distraction before her instead of her own reflection.

A seething disappointment began to brew in Cora’s gut the longer she bore witness to the indiscretion, having thoroughly believed that her previous lesson had been well-noted. Her daughter had not yet noticed her presence, and as such seemed to think that gave her some sort of freedom to allow her eyes to linger a little too long on the girl’s bosom as she bent at the waist to measure Regina’s inseam. The servant looked up at her then and a pink hue colored Regina’s cheeks at being caught staring, but the girl just gave her a shy smile before nodding her head in polite parting, telling her that she should bring her findings to the seamstress.

Once the girl had left, lithe fingers wrapped around her daughter’s forearms from behind, the sudden touch nearly causing Regina to jump out of her skin as Cora caught her reflection in the mirror. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

Regina’s breathing noticeably shallowed, eyes widening in fear that her mother had caught her looking. “N-No,” she denied, voice trembling as she tore her gaze from Cora’s reflection to meet the ground instead. Her daughter was stiff as a board, no doubt terrified that this would lead to a second punishment, and as such tried to convince Cora of her innocence with feigned disgust. “She’s a _servant,_ mother; true beauty would never be bestowed upon something that reproachful!” 

“Your eyes betray your words, my love,” Cora told her softly, pressing her lips to her daughter’s ear and taking pleasure in the way it sent a noticeable shiver down the girl’s spine. Whether it was born from the girl’s fear or her filthy little desires, Cora did not know nor care. Still, she sought to taunt her daughter with whispered words and gentle touches, and after dusting her fingers over the curvature of Regina’s breasts, Cora breathed, “Tell me, dear; do you miss your mother…?”

Distress etched across Regina’s face then, her eyes beginning to mist over as she begged in a tiny voice, suddenly sounding so much younger than her years, “Mama, please…”

“Please, _what?_ ” Cora challenged, grasping her daughter’s bosom so roughly that Regina cried out, a pathetic sounding whimper falling from her lips in its wake as Cora held her tight against her own chest. “Please find my way into your bed again?” Cora tsked in her ear. “My, my, Regina, you are a _shameless_ little thing aren’t you? But as creative as I find your methods, my dear, leering at trash only makes you utterly repugnant, and I would never filthy my hands with such a disgrace.”

She released her then, but directly after Regina seemed to exhale some kind of relieved breath, Cora fisted her hand in Regina’s hair and pulled her back again. The girl yelped and nearly stumbled over her own two feet, and words came tumbling out in a desperation to escape whatever punishment her mother had in store for her. “Mother, please; I wasn’t doing anything!”

Cora laughed at her audacity. Did she think her _blind?_ “You call purposely ogling that waste of existence in front of me _nothing?_ Your blatant desire for what should have been a punishment disgusts me, Regina; how do you bear looking at yourself in the mirror, knowing you crave your own mother’s touch?”

A quiet sob escaped her daughter’s lips as a singular tear fell down her flushed cheeks. She looked mortified by Cora’s assessment, and rightfully so. Although the older woman was well-aware that after how she had ended things that night, Regina had no desire to be put through such an ordeal for a second time, she needed Regina to feel filthy; to despise herself for ever allowing herself to be reminded of what her mother had forced her to truly desire. _That_ was her real punishment, and it was one that would live on until the day she died.

“That’s not what I was doing,” Regina insisted, the words just mere breaths of air that broke in her throat. “I learned my lesson, Mama; I swear I did—!”

But with a wave of her hand, the serving girl appeared before them in a gust of deep purple smoke. Blinking in surprise, she tried to regain her footing from the unexpected change of location, and her voice trembled a little as she hastily bowed her head and acknowledged, “M-Madam, was there something I—?”

But that was where her words ended. Letting her daughter go, Cora held out her hand towards the disgustingly attractive creature, causing the girl to choke as she was lifted into the air. Regina’s eyes went wide with horror before she whipped around and grabbed her mother’s dress in frantic desperation. “Mother, stop it! She didn’t do anything!”

Cora didn’t even spare her daughter a glance, her eyes boring into that of her victim’s. “Her existence is a distraction for you, my love; I’m doing you a favor.”

“No, Mama, please! _Please_ stop! I was only looking at her; I wasn’t going to do anything, I promise!” Regina was crying now, the weight of possibly being responsible for someone’s death too much for her to bear, and she pleaded desperately, “Leave her alone, she doesn’t deserve this!”

“No one is truly innocent, my darling,” Cora harshly reminded her, watching the serving girl’s face begin to turn purple as she struggled for air. “If it wasn’t for this, it would surely be for something else.” And then with a flick of her wrist, the girl’s neck snapped with a sickening crack, her lifeless body falling to the floor.

Her daughter ran to the girl then, perhaps in some foolhardy desire to try to save that which was already lost, and she collapsed on her knees before the servant’s body as she released a shuddered sob of despair. It only took her moments to confirm what her mind had previously denied, and when Regina looked up at her, her gaze was filled with fury and upset. 

“How could you do this?!” she demanded, her eyes bloodshot as tears streamed down her cheeks. “It was me who did something wrong, not her!”

“Oh, I’m more than aware of where the fault lies, my dear,” Cora told her, crossing the room to stand above her daughter and the body of the dead girl. She smiled at her then, and the mere gesture unnerved Regina to the point of violently shaking her head as she cried, already knowing that this wasn’t over and not wanting whatever punishment was sure to come. “But I’m not unkind, darling; if her passing distresses you this terribly, then you must have truly desired her.”

She waved her hand then, and the serving girl’s clothing fell away to nothing. Regina’s eyes widened in absolute horror, her face quickly paling as she realized what it was that Cora wanted. “So, my love,” she purred, running her fingers through her daughter’s hair as the girl openly sobbed. “If you want her that badly, _then have her._ ”

[x]

Cora pondered the effectiveness of forcing Regina to fuck the corpse of her dead Savior should her daughter not heed her warning. The last time she had attempted that lesson, Regina only barely touched the girl before emptying the contents of her stomach all over the body, which significantly lessened Cora’s desire to watch on and as such was forced to change her punishment. She was young then though, and far more innocent than she was now. With how much violence and horror Regina had inflicted upon her kingdom during her reign, Cora was certain that her daughter had formed a much stronger stomach. It could prove useful.

In the end though, punishing Regina was not something Cora wanted to do. She would much rather have an obedient daughter that she could cherish, than a disgrace that she had to fix. It was disappointing, truly, to see that the passing of years had lessened Regina’s fear of disobeying her. After the incident with the serving girl, Regina never looked twice at another woman. And while she ended up causing more embarrassment to her mother when she fell in love with the stable boy a little more than a year later, it had at least been a step in the right direction. He, at least, could have allowed her to bear heirs, as disgraceful and common as they would have been. 

Cora was just unable to fathom why keeping these tendencies inside seemed to be so _difficult_ for her daughter though. She had done it after all; and should the affliction be hereditary, then her strength to keep them at bay should have been as well. Dalliances with women brought nothing but terrible pain and social destruction, and that was not something Cora wished for Regina to be put through. Her daughter had worked far too hard to gain her power to just end up throwing it all away for some irritating blonde woman who, in the end, would no doubt turn around and find someone better suited for her own disgusting sense of _goodness_ once she found herself growing weary of Regina’s conflicting moral ambiguity.

The Savior might be royalty, and as such a technical step upwards from that blasted stable boy, but she was still a sad excuse for it. The daughter of Regina’s mortal enemy, there was no happiness at the end of that road. The blonde would ruin her, and far more so than any commoner would, for the Savior owned the one thing that Regina wanted desperately to be her own; the child. 

Admittedly, Cora was able to see the error she had made when she betrothed her daughter to Leopold. He was much too old to bear any more children, and it seemed that was the one thing Regina truly wanted. Perhaps if she had chosen a younger king who was able to give Regina a baby of her own, instead of focusing on her own selfish need for retribution, none of this would have ever happened. Perhaps she would have even thanked her mother for bestowing such a gift upon her, instead of pushing her through the Looking Glass in a blinding rage.

Despite knowing other options may have been preferable however, Cora did not regret what she had done. Regina became Queen, became everything she was born to be, and unbeknownst to her had enacted vengeance on her mother’s behalf in the process. And although Regina’s Kingdom had been demolished into this… _chaotic_ excuse for a town, there was still hope to rebuild. After the Savior was gone and Regina ruled over these people once more, perhaps then they could start anew. Cora could find her a proper husband this time, one that could give her a real child instead of that bastard on loan, and then once she had a replacement, the Savior’s son – the only reminder left of Regina’s old life – could be abolished. 

After all, it would be utterly reproachable if an illegitimate child ended up inheriting Regina’s throne.

Regina did like to have her _pets_ though, which in all honesty was the only reason Cora allowed the girl’s father to live as long as he had. They seemed to give her a sense of joy, and Cora always did like to see her daughter happy. Pets were replaceable however, and the boy was no different. Once Regina had a proper child of her very own, Cora was certain she would see her way of things. After all, it would be Mommy Dearest that had assured Regina had gotten everything she had ever desired in life.

First thing was first however, and Cora needed to see just exactly how badly off her daughter was. The warning served as a reminder, but such things could diminish should Regina feel safe again. Cora needed it to stick in her mind, to be present even when she was not around, because lingering eyes led to unpure thoughts and, well… it would only be a matter of time. If nothing else, Cora knew that this wasn’t just about the Savior. This wasn’t a one-time infatuation, as Regina had been displaying these kinds of tendencies in her youth. So unless Cora righted what was wrong with her, this would only keep happening again and again.

And that would simply be unacceptable.

She didn’t, Cora readily tried to convince herself, want to do something like that to Regina again. All it did was allow her to toe a line she had strayed away from for so long, which was dangerous to not only her daughter but to herself; yet in the end, Cora knew she had to do what she had to do, as Regina learning was of the highest importance. Still, she hoped that her warning would be heeded even after her daughter’s instinct to doubt herself kicked in and Regina began to believe that her mother wasn’t actually watching her. It would make the girl’s punishment much simpler; just a dead Savior instead of an entire showing of Regina’s indiscretions to the woman she foolishly chose to care for. It would utterly cripple her, and Cora always did find it rather tiring to pick up the shattered pieces of her daughter so often. 

Patience, however, was not her shipmate’s strong suit. As such, the bumbling idiot fell into her cabin on the fifth night since the warning, reeking of alcohol and frustration as he demanded, “What the bloody hell are we waiting for, a written invitation? Because correct me if I’m wrong, Your Majesty, but I signed on to help you kill the woman, not stalk her.”

Cora barely even batted an eyelash as she threw out her hand, causing the man to go flying into the far wall. He made contact with an ‘oof’ and a groan before Cora magically held him there by his throat, not quite enough to cut off his entire air supply but enough to make her point. “Do you have children, Pirate?” she casually asked, stalking up to the man held tight against the wall.

“No,” Hook struggled to gasp out, and Cora quirked an eyebrow in his direction.

“ _No,_ ” she repeated, implying that the man had just answered his own question. “That’s what I thought. Children are delicate creatures; despite being an extension of you they are, unfortunately, _not_ you, and as such need to be molded into their fullest potential. I raised Regina, and I alone know what she responds best to, and should I tell you to have patience, Captain, then you _will_ have patience. Is that understood?”

Hook did not look particularly pleased, but he eventually nodded his understanding. Cora released him then, allowing his body to crumple to the ground as he gasped for air. “We struck a deal,” Cora reminded him. “And I will honor it, but you must wait a little while longer. Rumpelstiltskin is trapped in this town just as much as the rest of its residents, so whether he dies in a week or a month it makes no difference.”

“Forgive me, Your Majesty,” Hook drawled as he rubbed his throat, sounding more sarcastic in his apology than Cora would have preferred. He would prove to be useful in the future however, so killing him now would just be a waste; especially when Rumple could possibly make a better offer for his head. “But I still fail to see the point in waiting around. We’re going to kill the woman either way, are we not, regardless of the Queen’s decision to heed your warning?”

“Yes.”

“Then _why—?_ ”

“Because, you simple-minded creature,” Cora began, stepping over the man on the floorboards as though he bore no real importance while she headed towards the door, set on continuing her plan with or without him right now. “Killing her _now_ is what my daughter is expecting me to do.”

[x]

It had been three days and seven and a half hours since Regina had last spoken to her.

Not that Emma was keeping count, or anything. She just happened to have glanced at the clock in the kitchen right after Regina had stormed off, and now there was one placed in front of her in the living room; it was this large ornate thing that bonged loudly after every hour, which at this point, Emma hated beyond anything else just because it felt like it was ridiculing her. 

**Bong!** You fucked up.

 **Bong!** She hates you.

 **Bong!** Only suicidal idiots call Regina Mills a freaking _victim._

It wasn’t just that though, and Emma knew it. While it was stupid beyond words to label her as an ‘abuse victim,’ considering Regina made it no secret that she hated being thought of as weak, it was also the fact that she had dismissed the woman’s fears because of her past. Because despite the fact that Emma had probably been right, she should have just supported her; comforted her, did _something_ other than stick her foot in her mouth and cause the most uncomfortable living situation since being stuck with that one foster family who ended up having a weird clown fetish.

At least the décor in Regina’s house was infinitely better; and far, _far_ less terrifying. 

Henry was growing increasingly uncomfortable by the silence as well, but all his efforts into getting his mothers to talk to one another fell flat, and after the second day he completely stopped trying, choosing instead to just glare at them both whenever they were in the same room.

Really, as far as forced vacations went, this one sucked something fierce. 

**Bong!** Oh, fuck off.

Emma sighed heavily, trying not to think about how it had been three days and _eight_ hours now as she slumped further into Regina’s couch, scrolling through her past text messages. In an effort not to cause Regina anymore worry, Emma hadn’t left the house since she had brought over some of her things. As such, David was leading the investigation into Regina’s attack and giving her updates via text message; sometimes a phone call if it was important enough, which wasn’t often. 

There were no leads. Gold had apparently laughed at the assumption that it was him, as he would have nothing to gain in doing something like that; nor, he said, was that the way he handled his business. David said that while it sounded like he was being honest about that, it also seemed as though he knew more than what he was saying. So if nothing else, Emma was sure that the bastard _did_ know who’s work this resembled, but until Regina deemed her able to leave the house again, the blonde doubted she was going to find out. David didn’t exactly know how to interrogate suspects very well, after all.

Outside of that, no one had seen or heard anything suspicious lately, and there definitely weren’t any Cora sightings, as a newcomer stuck out like a sore thumb in a town like this and would be easily noticeable. That, at least, was a relief to hear. Still, it left them with nothing to go on as far as other suspects were concerned, and if Emma asked Regina to write out a list of her enemies, she was sure at least eighty five percent of the town would be on it. As of right now, there didn’t seem like there was a way to narrow it down.

After seeing that David had nothing else to report, Emma put down her cell in a huff, finding this entire thing to be really fucking discouraging. Even worse was that she was stuck _here,_ in a house where no one would speak to her, completely unable to do anything about it. It was one thing to not get any results because of her own efforts, but to just sit on the sidelines and wait for others to do the work that _she_ was supposed to be doing? It just sucked.

As Emma turned around to look for the remote, figuring that watching TV was probably a better option than brooding, she nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Regina in the threshold of the doorway, staring straight at her with her arms crossed over her chest. “Jesus,” Emma exclaimed, pressing her hand against her chest. “Are you trying to give me a freaking heart attack?”

Regina said nothing, but at this point, that was expected. What _wasn’t_ expected though was how she didn’t move, nor did she stop staring at her. It was getting kind of creepy at this point, to be honest. 

“Uh, Regina?” Emma tried cautiously. “Are you okay?”

Regina bit the inside of her cheek as she shifted the weight between her feet, looking incredibly torn about something. Emma furrowed her brow and watched her for a few long moments, until the woman exhaled a resigned breath, and spoke the first words Emma had heard from her mouth in days.

“…I suppose you may speak to me now, if you wish to.”

Oh, thank _God._

Emma practically clambered off the couch, nearly tripping over herself in her haste to make things right between them. “Regina, I am _so_ sorry!” she blurted out as she quickly crossed the distance of the room. “I can be such an asshole sometimes, but I swear I didn’t mean to imply that you were crazy, because you’re _not_ , and I would never think—!”

Regina held up her hands to ward away Emma’s incoming mess of apology that she was currently trying to spew all over her. “Miss Swan, a word to the wise; as I have resigned to speak to you again, that already means that on some level you’ve been forgiven, and as such your apology is unnecessary.”

“No, Regina, it’s _not_ ; it shouldn’t be, because I fucked up,” Emma continued, feeling terrible about making the woman cry. Regina Mills didn’t _cry,_ or if she did, it definitely wasn’t in front of other people. That said something, and that said something _bad._ “Even if I didn’t believe you, I should have _supported_ you, because that’s what people who care about each other do. And the things I said about your past were completely presumptuous and out of line, and I shouldn’t just assume I have the right to talk about anything like that, just because I know about—”

“Oh, for Heaven’s sake,” Regina sighed, looking a little uncomfortable about the topic as she placed a hand on Emma’s arm to stop her from speaking. “As entertaining as it may be to watch you trip all over yourself in an effort to please me, this is becoming embarrassing.”

Despite her words though, Regina did seem to be a little touched that Emma actually cared that much to apologize so fervently. Emma could see it in her eyes, a softness that wouldn’t normally accompany such a biting statement, but the subject obviously made her uneasy. She wanted to forgive Emma, but she didn’t want to talk about what happened in order to get there. 

In an effort to break the tension, Emma tried a different approach and playfully bumped Regina’s shoulder with her own. “Don’t act like you don’t like it,” she teased softly, a small smile hinting at the corners of her lips. She hoped that maybe something lighter would allow Regina to relax a little.

“Yes, well,” Regina admitted, raising an eyebrow in response as she tried to hide her smirk. “It has been quite some time since I had peasants fumbling all over themselves for my attention, perhaps you just make me nostalgic.”

Emma frowned. “Okay, _ouch._ ” Peasants, really? To someone like Regina, that was like the lowest insult.

Regina bit the inside of her cheek then, a flash of regret showing behind her dark eyes as she side-glanced her. “That… wasn’t an accurate comparison. I’m sorry. I merely…” Exhaling a soft sigh, Regina moved from Emma’s side, coming to rest on the far end of the couch. “I don’t wish to talk about that day, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“No, that’s… it’s okay,” Emma conceded softly, moving to sit next to her. Tangling her fingers in her hair, the blonde admitted, “I just… I feel like an ass, you know? And I don’t… I don’t know, want you to think of me that way, I guess.”

“I don’t,” Regina quietly assured her, although she didn’t look at her when she said it. She was staring out the window, and after a sort pause she exhaled a shaky breath, seemingly almost resigned about what she was about to reveal. 

“I was… wrong,” Regina finally admitted, sounding torn between being relieved and almost disappointed, presumably over the fact that Emma’s doubt had been justified. “If it had been my mother who assaulted me, she would have done something more by now. It isn’t in her nature to wait around like this.”

“Well, that’s… a good thing, right?” Emma asked tentatively, placing her hand atop Regina’s that was lying on the couch. Regina looked down at their hands and Emma immediately thought that she would pull away from the overly familiar touch, but the woman didn’t move.

And God, just something as simple as _that_ made Emma’s heart soar. It might not be much, but it still screamed volumes as to where Regina was in regards to them. She needed someone, and even if it was just someone to be there and comfort her while she struggled to come to grips with the fact that she had overreacted, Emma was still the someone she had chosen.

“Of course it is,” Regina told her softly, before pursing her lips and shaking her head as she looked back towards the window, her hand still unmoved. “I just feel incredibly foolish, and perhaps even a bit badly that I threatened to remove your tongue.”

Emma smirked, and in an effort to allow Regina to focus on something other than how dumb she felt for believing her worst fear had returned, the blonde quipped, “It is pretty talented, you know; it’d be such a waste.”

Regina side-eyed her, looking both judgmental and a little amused. “If you have a talent in anything, dear, it’s your ability to insert an innuendo at the most inappropriate of times.”

Well, that backfired.

“Sorry,” Emma apologized, scrunching up her nose as her eyes met the floor. “I was just trying to—”

“I know.”

Emma looked up at her then, and when she met Regina’s gaze the woman gave her a small smile, a thank-you-for-trying-despite-being-a-perverted-idiot kind of smile, that instantly caused a fierce warmth to inhabit the pit of Emma’s stomach. She returned it in kind, and in taking a chance, moved her fingers just slightly to lace her and Regina’s together. The brunette sucked in a small breath as her eyes fell to their linked hands, and Emma’s heart felt like it was beating in her throat. But then, only slightly, Regina squeezed, just enough to assure the blonde that she was welcoming the touch.

Regina blinked rapidly though before seemingly forcing herself to not obsess over what it was that she was doing and turned back towards the window, needing to explain her motives so that Emma understood what it meant, or didn’t mean to her. “It’s still complicated—”

“I know,” Emma assured her softly, giving Regina’s hand a slight squeeze in return. “I know, okay? And I’m here. I’m just here for you; that’s all it needs to be, if that’s all you want.”

Regina swallowed before pursing her lips into a tight line and nodding. Despite it being such a simple gesture, she still looked absolutely terrified by it. The threat of her mother’s wrath might not be looming over Regina’s head anymore, but Cora had still left her mark on her; that much was painfully obvious. It made Emma desperately wish that she’d had enough sense to kill her first before escaping the Enchanted Forest, as someone who traumatized their own daughter in this way didn’t deserve to be breathing anymore. 

It was fucking terrible, absolutely heart wrenching, and Emma wished she knew how to make it better. But the sad fact of it was, she would probably never be able to; nothing she could do or say would ever erase what Regina had gone through, and Emma despised that more than anything. Regina shouldn’t have to live with those memories, whatever they were. 

_No one_ should have to, and God… it was fucked up that people like Cora even _existed_ in the world.

“It bothers me,” Regina admitted after a long moment’s pause, still unable to meet her gaze, “that you refuse to think less of me; almost as much as it bothers me that I seem to have developed something resembling actual _care_ for you.”

If frantically locking her in a house for her own safety was something only _resembling_ care, then Emma would like to see what Regina was like when she _actually_ cared for someone. But that was unimportant in light of, “What do you mean? Why would I think less of you?” Emma’s brow furrowed, and Regina shot her a look like she was being an imbecile.

“If you had panicked as severely as I had over something that wasn’t even a valid concern, I would have judged you.”

“Regina, you judge me just for _breathing,_ ” Emma reminded her, which despite everything, made the brunette huff in slight amusement. It was true though, as it was basically the woman’s default state.

“Look,” Emma continued, tugging on their linked hands to coax Regina to look at her again. “I might not understand what you went through, but I’ve seen my share of bad. I grew up in the system, and it… it leaves its mark on you; on some more than others.” 

Taking a breath, Emma tried to drudge up the strength to talk about this. She hadn’t really, not in a very long time; not since the last person she trusted. But Regina needed to know that abuse wasn’t exactly a foreign concept to her, and so Emma’s brow crinkled in distress as she remembered, “For some foster parents, we were nothing but a paycheck; a paycheck to buy drugs, booze, or just generally blow because of a gambling habit. We weren’t cared about. Some of us were beat, some of us were raped, and some of us were just plain neglected. I might not have personally gotten the worst of the worst, but I still have scars on my body that prove I got enough.”

Emma could feel Regina’s eyes on her, but her gaze had fallen away from the other woman the second she revealed her own personal experience. “It wasn’t all bad though,” Emma continued, trying to move past her own ugly truth. “Some of the families were nice or, I guess, as nice as they could be without you being their own kid. I had this one family who even did shit like ‘family game night;’ actually spent time with us, you know? Tried to help by keeping our mind off of how completely crappy our lives were, as we were all old enough to have realized that we had zero chance of ever getting adopted; of ever having a real family.”

“But even nice families have their limit,” Emma went on. “There was this one girl who lived with us, her name was Chloe. She was sent to them because the foster father was a therapist, although I guess that was the reason all of us were, really; it was like where you went after the system realizes they put you in a toxic environment in some kind of attempt to ‘fix’ it.” Emma shook her head, getting back on track. “Anyway, anytime anyone touched her she would… _completely_ freak out; she’d have panic attacks so severe she could barely breathe, and after a while it wasn’t too hard to figure out why. Our foster dad tried to help her, but in the end I guess they deemed her a lost cause and threw her back in the system. They just didn’t want to deal with her.”

Emma looked at Regina then, and she saw a myriad of emotions pass over the other woman’s face. “I thought that was _bullshit,_ ” Emma told her strongly. “The rest of us in that house, we might have needed counseling, but we could survive day to day just like everyone else. Chloe couldn’t, and I found out that not too long afterwards she ended up hanging herself in a closet.”

“And I’m not saying you’re like her, Regina, because you’re not,” Emma continued, before the woman ended up jumping to the wrong conclusion. “Whatever happened to you, you survived it and you’ll keep surviving through it, but the point is that Chloe shouldn’t have had to do it alone, and neither should you.”

Regina’s lips were slightly parted, this look of distress and upset etched painfully across her features as she looked torn between wanting to appreciate Emma for what she said, or completely despise her for it. Finally she closed her mouth and tore her eyes away, swallowing hard as she shook her head. “Emma, I _can’t—_ ”

“You don’t have to,” Emma told her softly, holding tighter to Regina’s hand. “I told you once that you never had to tell me what happened, and you don’t have to. I can be here for you without knowing the details, if you want me to be. That’s all I’m saying. If nothing else, Regina, I want to be your friend because I… I care, you know? I care a lot about you.”

Regina inhaled a shuddered breath before she pursed her lips, looking as though she might be blinking back tears as she stared out the far window. “I utterly despise you sometimes,” she murmured, but there was no bite to it; it was almost… loving, in a way. Emma smiled, gently tugging on their linked hands to bring Regina’s shoulder against her own.

“Was that a yes, you’ll let me be your friend?”

Regina rolled her eyes, trying to look indignant throughout how emotionally exhausted she seemed to have become as she sighed heavily, relenting to Emma’s care by leaning her head against the woman’s shoulder. “Yes, dear,” she conceded softly. “I suppose I can allow you to be my friend.”

**TBC…**


	7. The Lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the tardiness on this chapter. Girlfriend and I got a PS3 for Christmas and that’s been taking up most of our focus, lol.

**CHAPTER SEVEN  
The Lover**

Although two days had passed since Regina had allowed herself to come to terms with the fact that she had been wrong about her mother’s involvement in her assault, there was still a nagging feeling of paranoia in the back of her mind that she couldn’t shake. Logically, Regina knew there was a high chance that she was being irrational, as Cora would have most certainly made her presence known by now should she have been in town. Disobedience _infuriated_ the woman, and when her mother was angry, her patience wore very thin.

So yes, Regina knew that at this point, she was probably being nothing but ridiculously overcautious. However, it was Monday, and now a week since Henry had last gone to school, and Emma was currently trying to assure her that he’d be perfectly safe, which Regina only wished she could believe.

“I’ll escort him to and from there personally, Regina,” the blonde tried, tangling their fingers together in an effort to reassure her. “Hell, I’ll even fuck off of work for another day if you want me to just stand outside of his classroom and play guard all day, alright? But the kid really needs to go back to school, cause as it is already, he’s gonna have a bitch of a time catching up on the stuff he missed last week.”

Henry was upstairs getting ready, having already assumed that his mother was going to cave and allow him to go back, and Regina worried her bottom lip for a moment while she looked up the stairs to the door of his bedroom. “I just worry,” was all she said, and it encompassed enough for Emma to understand. 

“I know,” Emma responded softly, and when Regina turned back towards her, the woman gave her a gentle, reassuring smile. “But whoever attacked you, it wasn’t your mother; and I’m pretty damn sure that no one else would be stupid enough to go after Henry. He’ll be alright.”

Regina side-glanced her, beginning to feel rather foolish about how over-protective she was not only when it came to her own son, but the woman in front of her as well. She hadn’t expected to care for Emma this quickly, and yet once it had happened it seemed there was no longer any hope of suppressing it. “And you?” she asked carefully, quietly.

“I know how to protect myself, Regina,” Emma reminded her, patting her holstered gun on her hip. It still made Regina wary however, as a gun could only do so much where magic was involved. “If anyone fucks with me, they’re going to regret it. But like I said, since it wasn’t your mother, I think I’m going to be okay. Both of us are, I promise.”

“Emma, they still used your face—”

“Which, believe me, I am _more_ than pissed about,” Emma told her, eyes flashing with anger at just the thought of it. Still, she calmed herself quickly in order to reassure the woman in front of her, “But I don’t think it was because I’m next on someone’s hit list; it was just to screw with you. To screw with _us,_ really, since using my face was… that was fucking _personal._ But I swear to God, even if it’s the last thing I do, I will make whoever it was sorry that they were ever that stupid.”

Regina pursed her lips as her brow creased in concern, still not entirely convinced that this was a good idea. “Regina,” Emma said softly, brushing a strand out of the brunette’s eyes before gently cupping her cheek. The gesture was both tender and entirely over familiar for their declaration of just being ‘friends’, but the warmth that spread in Regina’s chest because of it allowed her to breathe a little bit easier. “It’ll be okay, I _promise._ ”

Chewing on her bottom lip a little, Emma suddenly looked a little nervous about what she had just done. Her fingers dusked the contour of Regina’s jawline before she allowed them to fall, and she broke eye contact as she cleared her throat and shifted the weight between her feet. “You can keep the barrier up, if you want,” Emma told her, running her fingers through a mess of blonde tresses as she shrugged noncommittally. “I mean, if that makes you feel safer, I’m not gonna judge or anything…”

But before Regina could answer, Henry bounded down the stairs two at a time with his backpack held tightly in his left hand, exclaiming, “I’m ready!” When he got to the bottom step however, he looked between his two mothers and asked, suddenly unsure if the plan had changed or not, “Are we still going?”

Emma looked to Regina for answer, and the brunette exhaled a soft sigh. She knew she couldn’t lock them in here forever just because of her own irrational fears, despite how much a part of her still wanted to. “Yes, dear,” she told her son with a small, forced smile. “You’re going. Get your coat.”

“Awesome!” he exclaimed, before bounding over to the coat rack and grabbing his jacket. Apparently a week of being under house arrest was allowing him to appreciate freedom, even if it came in the usually unwanted package of _school._ “I’ll be in the car!” he told them as he headed towards the front door, nearly giving Regina a heart attack as she quickly dispelled the barrier before he hurt himself. And then Henry was gone, leaving the front door hanging wide open as he raced to Emma’s bug.

Regina watched him like a hawk the entire time, her heart having leapt into her throat as a part of her still expected her mother to appear out of thin air. She didn’t however, and Emma squeezed the brunette’s hand comfortingly as she told her, “It’s okay, see? He’s fine. But I should go before he starts messing with my radio stations again; last time he somehow managed to get the damn thing stuck on Radio Disney for like a solid _week._ ”

As Emma released her and turned to leave, suddenly another wave of panic shot through Regina’s body as she grabbed the woman’s hand again. “Miss Swan—!” she pleaded, and as Emma turned around in question, Regina swallowed before she allowed herself to trust that the woman wouldn’t mock her for her paranoia as she tentatively requested, “Stay with him today?”

Emma’s expression softened from the worried look in the older woman’s eyes, and she gently nodded her compliance. “Whatever you want,” she breathed in response, and there was neither a trace of judgment nor mocking in her voice. It was just honesty. It was… it was just Emma understanding that this was what needed to be done in order for Regina to feel okay. 

It was such a strange thing, to suddenly have someone in her life that cared for her feelings. It had been so long since anyone even bothered to look at Regina like a person, let alone actually treat her like one, that the feeling of it caused a nervous unsettlement to inhabit Regina’s gut as she smiled gently at the other woman.

Her gratitude was expressed in the form of a soft, “Thank you;” and before Regina could think about what she was doing, she leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss on the other woman’s cheek. It caused Emma to flush a little and bite her bottom lip as she smiled up at her, all these questions suddenly burning brightly behind her eyes that Regina in no way knew how to answer right now.

So instead, she did what came naturally, and rolled her eyes in response to Emma’s blatant happiness over the gesture. 

“Don’t obsess over it; it’s terribly unbecoming,” Regina chided, as if Emma’s reaction was completely unwarranted, despite both of them knowing that it wasn’t. It said something, and Regina was unfortunately very much aware of just how much it revealed. Right now, however, was not the time that she wanted to deal with it, so instead Regina gave a light shove to the blonde’s shoulder to send her on her way as she encouraged, “Go. You’re going to make our son late for school.”

“Can I see you later?” Emma asked, sounding much too innocent and much to _hopeful_ to ever make it seem as though their relationship was strictly platonic. Regina wished that felt like more of a problem than it actually did, but there was a certain comfort in it that the former queen found she didn’t want to lose.

Still, Regina was noncommittal as she waved her off with an, “If you insist,” trying to sound like she didn’t care either way. “Far be it from me to put you out if you need somewhere to spend your free time.”

Emma snorted. “Right, okay. Well—”

The car horn blazed loudly, and both women snapped their heads towards the bug. Henry was gesturing at them from inside it like, ‘come _on,_ ’ and Emma turned back towards Regina and shot her a small smile. “I’ll see you later.”

Regina watched the woman go until she had gotten into the car and driven off, before finally closing the door behind her and leaning against its frame. Closing her eyes, Regina wondered if she was being utterly moronic in pursuing a relationship with Emma, no matter how slow it might be developing. Because despite what they had both said the other day, there was no fooling themselves about what this would end up becoming. And yes, perhaps Regina had allowed herself to feel a little more comfortable with the idea once she’d realized her mother wasn’t actually in town, but like her lingering paranoia, Regina’s wariness was still very much a present factor.

If she was going to do this with anyone though, then Emma did seem to be the right choice. The woman was already aware that she had been subjected to a traumatic experience as a girl, and therefore wouldn’t rush anything physical with her. Nor, more importantly, would Regina be expected to explain what exactly had happened to her, because that… God, she just _couldn’t._ Because it wasn’t just some cut and dry case of child rape on some mid-afternoon cop show, it was far more complicated, it was far _worse,_ and even just the mere thought of it made Regina want to claw her own skin off due to her own vile choices.

Emma had been wrong; she _wasn’t_ a victim. Not because Regina hated being labeled as one, but because _victims_ don’t find pleasure in their pain, in their punishments. Even if it was brief, even if it was just for a moment, that feeling, those things that she had _said_ would haunt Regina for the rest of her life. It made her hate herself, and the last thing she ever wanted was for anyone to see her the way she saw herself. She wouldn’t be able to bear the humiliation.

But Emma said she wouldn’t ask. Regina wanted to trust that, wanted to trust _her,_ because it had been so long since she felt this way for someone. And perhaps after all these years she finally owed it to herself to indulge in her infatuation with women, but because of what she had been subjected to, it still utterly terrified her. And should Emma have had been ‘just a woman’, Regina would have stayed clear of her and never allowed her fantasies to become real.

But it wasn’t that Emma was a woman. It was that Emma was _Emma,_ and in the end, her anatomy had very little to do with why Regina found herself attracted to her. Yes, the blonde was beautiful, but so were many other women, many other _people_ that inhabited this world or any other. So no, her physical appearance was not why Regina wanted her.

Emma made her feel safe. She made her feel cared about, important, _worth_ something to someone. She was patient and kind, and like a teenager with their first crush, the woman seemed to constantly fall all over herself just to make Regina smile. Emma was an idiot to be sure, but she had this irritating little way of making it come off as endearing, and Regina liked it; she liked… she liked _her._

And god, it was terrible; this entire thing was nothing but a horrible idea that would no doubt come crashing down, and yet just the mere thought of having Emma made her smile. And Regina… she wanted to smile. She wanted to be _happy._ It was all she ever really wanted, especially after living a life filled with so much misery. So if Emma gave her a reason to smile, then wouldn’t it be foolish to just throw it away like it was nothing?

Exhaling a soft sigh, Regina opened her eyes and pushed herself off the woodwork. It wasn’t nothing, she realized as she turned around to stare at door. It was _something_ ; it was something that mattered, something that made her feel good. And perhaps it would take a good long while until Regina was comfortable enough to explore all aspects of a relationship with Emma, but at least she was no longer running scared from the possibility of it.

Regina didn’t want to live in fear anymore; all it did was make her paranoid and upset over things that didn’t warrant such a reaction. All it did was make her frightened of her own damn reflection in the mirror, and that wasn’t a way to live. And so with one last look at the door, Regina resolved to be stronger and turned away from the entrance, leaving it stripped of its defenses.

She didn’t need them anymore. She was going to be okay.

She had to be.

[x]

Cora suddenly appeared in a puff of purple smoke at the foot of his cot, causing Killian to nearly fall straight out of it in surprise. “Bloody _hell,_ woman!” he barked, the unexpected visitor having caused him to spill rum all over his chest.

As he sat up in a feeble effort to try and brush the liquid off – which in the end, only managed to soak it further into his favorite shirt – Cora raised a judgmental eyebrow. “Did you find a suitable place?” she asked, not even bothering to apologize for yet another one of her dramatic entrances that were _still_ , by the way, causing more damage to his damned possessions. 

Perhaps he should have been wiser when choosing a partner in all of this; but, then again, since Rumpelstiltskin still had his powers in this land, Killian’s options were slim to none. Overly dramatic or not, the Queen of Hearts was still his best chance at killing the crocodile, and so the man merely scowled instead of telling her off.

“Yes, although I don’t see why we have to use my ship for this; getting bloodstains out of the woodwork can be quite tedious.”

Cora outright laughed at that, looking at him as though he was being simple-minded again; which was by far Killian’s least favorite expression of hers, and the one she infuriatingly opted to use the most. “Do I look like I favor carnage to you?” she asked, sounding amused by his deduction. “No, my methods are much cleaner. And in case it’s escaped your notice, Captain, I have already hidden your ship from curious eyes. This is a town that has been unchanged for decades, and a new addition or a sudden _loss_ would draw attention.”

“I’m aware of that, Your Majesty,” Killian responded as he rose from his cot to place his bottle of rum on the far table. God, it was like the bloody woman thought him daft; it was immensely irritating. “What _I’m_ inquiring is why we can’t just slit the Savior’s throat in the Queen’s home; surely there’s no need to hide the body from her. Wasn’t that the point?”

“For Regina to see it happen? Yes,” Cora agreed. “But this is a precaution. Should Regina fail to heed my warning, when the time comes for her punishment I will need distance between the two of them; somewhere my daughter can’t find her lover, should she manage to escape me.”

Killian’s brow furrowed. “You’re going to keep the Swan woman _alive?_ ” he asked, perplexed. Well if that didn’t sound like a plan that was going to backfire, he didn’t know what did. Why on earth did Cora feel the need to make everything a damned _show?_ Just kill the woman and be done with it already; there was no need for these bloody theatrics.

“Have you really not asked yourself why I need you, Pirate?” Cora inquired, raising an eyebrow in his direction. “Should it have been as simple as killing the woman, I could’ve done it myself. I, however, cannot be in two places at once; and that, my dear, is where _you_ come in.”

Killian didn’t know if this wasn’t making sense because he was drunk, or because the woman was being as nonspecific as possible just to make him feel like an idiot. Perhaps both. Regardless… “I’m afraid you’ve lost me.”

“As I so often do,” Cora drawled, her judgmental look making Killian feel the need to get even drunker, because sod this mess. But as he picked up the bottle, something seemed to click and he looked over at her in question.

“You _expect_ the Queen to fail, don’t you?”

Cora said nothing; merely looked indignant, perhaps even a little offended that he would ever dare think such a thing, despite the fact that she was the damned one who had enlisted his help from the beginning. Should Cora have thought that Regina would heed her, she wouldn’t have needed him. She had said so herself.

“My daughter knows better,” she told him, her tone almost a warning. 

Killian held up the bottle to her in mock cheers however, before reminding her, “Knowing and doing are two very different things, love.” He took a swig of the liquor, and Cora’s eyes flashed black. Killian braced himself for another attack on his beautiful throat, but surprisingly it didn’t come; instead the woman took a breath, perhaps deeming him unworthy of the trouble.

“We don’t have time for this,” Cora snapped impatiently, and damn, he had hit the nail on the head, hadn’t he? “I’ve come from my daughter’s home; the barrier she conjured is no longer intact. Regina’s feeling safe, which means it won’t be long now. So sober up,” she ordered, and with a flick of her wrist the bottle in Killian’s hand disappeared into nothing, causing the man to yell an ‘Oi!’ in protest. “And be ready for when I call on you.”

And then the woman disappeared in another cloud of purple smoke, no doubt to obsessively watch her daughter until she so much as _breathed_ wrong, leaving Killian alone in his cabin with absolutely no booze and bloody nothing to do in its stead.

_Fantastic._

[x]

“It’ll be fine, I promise—”

“Of course I know it’ll be _fine,_ ” Regina snapped on the other end of the phone, sounding extremely defensive all of a sudden. “I’m not being paranoid; I just fail to see why my son needs to be subjected to such a thing, is all. Surely—”

Emma sighed heavily as she switched her blinker to turn on to Mifflin Street, the cell cradled between her shoulder and her ear. “Regina, they’re his _grandparents._ ”

“So?”

“So they want to have dinner with him. We had him holed up in your house for like a week; I think one burger at Granny’s with my parents isn’t going to kill him. Plus David’s carrying, and it’s a public place, so I don’t think anyone’s going to try and—”

“I already said I wasn’t being paranoid,” Regina responded heatedly, her tone sounding like a warning for Emma not to bring it up again. It was an unexpected switch from the woman who had pleaded for her to stand guard at their son’s school all day, and it sounded more like Regina was forcing herself to suddenly be okay with something without really taking the time to _actually_ be okay with it. Maybe she was just tired of being afraid, but even still, going from zero to sixty didn’t sound healthy either.

“Right, well… I was just trying to make sure you knew the situation, that was all,” Emma tried as she pulled into Regina’s driveway, before shutting off the engine and stepping from the vehicle. “He’s your son too and you’re entitled to know where he is and if he’s safe.”

“Why the hell aren’t you with him anyway?” Regina demanded, and okay, on second thought maybe it wasn’t the best idea to try to use her parents’ need to see their grandson as an excuse for alone time with the other woman. “Surely your irritating gene pool wished to spend time with you as well, after so long.”

Emma paused halfway up the walkway, suddenly having second thoughts about coming over while Regina was this irritated. Even though the woman had said earlier that she could, now the blonde wasn’t sure whether or not the invitation had been retracted. Maybe Regina had just forgotten. Still, it seemed like a stupid idea to just march up to the door without a peace offering, or whatever else would get Regina to stop being aggravated, and so Emma’s eyes began to frantically search the woman’s yard in an attempt to find—

_Bingo._

“They did, but I told them I had plans,” Emma answered as she grabbed her pocketknife from the back of her jeans, heading towards her destination. Regina’s huff of disapproval was distinctive even through the phone.

“Since when has your social life become so active that it now has _scheduling_ conflicts?”

Emma rolled her eyes as she used the knife to sever what she wanted from one of Regina’s bushes. After the task was done, Emma began making her way over to the other woman’s door as she answered, “Since I made a new friend, apparently; although _now_ I’m not too sure about that.”

“What on earth are you—?” Regina tried to answer, but the sound of the doorbell halted her words. She sighed heavily. “Hold on a moment.”

Emma smirked, amused that Regina still hadn’t put two and two together yet; although then again, when Regina was aggravated, it tended to outweigh everything else. Shifting her weight nervously between her feet, Emma shot Regina a shy smile once the front door had swung open and the woman was face to face with the answer to her own question.

“…Hi,” Emma greeted in response to Regina’s obvious surprise. But the woman’s gaze didn’t linger on Emma’s face for very long, as suddenly Regina’s attention was captured by the long stemmed rose being twirled innocently between the blonde’s fingers. A singular eyebrow was arched in response.

“A rose,” Regina stated flatly as she hung up the phone, not giving any indication as to whether or not Emma coming to her door with one was even a good thing. The blonde suddenly felt embarrassed, second guessing her decision all over again under the weight of Regina’s judgmental stare.

“Um… yeah,” Emma murmured as she shoved her cell into her back pocket, shrugging as her gaze hit the ground. “I guess I just thought—”

“That you would murder my prize-winning rose bushes in an attempt to please me; I’m aware.”

Fuck. Maybe she should have taken it from someone else’s yard. _Nice move, Swan. You’re real suave,_ Emma inwardly groaned, feeling like a complete idiot.

“No, I—I mean, I just… I thought that it’d make you smile or… something,” Emma stumbled, her cheeks flushing as she suddenly wished to be anywhere but there right now. “But apparently that was stupid, so…”

Regina continued to stare her down, making Emma go pink all the way to the tips of her ears, until finally the edges of her lips twitched into a small, amused smirk as she reached out and took the rose from Emma’s grasp. “Thank you, Miss Swan. It’s beautiful.”

And with that Regina turned on her heel, walking back into her house as she left Emma to just stand there and gape like some sort of idiot on the woman’s front porch. What in the hell just happ— _oh._

“You do this on _purpose,_ don’t you?!” Emma exclaimed, instantly feeling a strange mix of relief and aggravation as she stomped into the house behind her. She could hear Regina chuckling in the kitchen, and after closing the front door behind her, Emma followed the sound to see the woman placing the flower into a vase filled with water.

“It’s hardly my fault that you happen to be endearing when you’re embarrassed, dear.”

And with that, Emma’s irritation laid waste to another slight blush upon her cheeks. That was basically Regina’s way of telling her she was cute, and the thought made the blonde’s stomach do backflips inside of her. “It’s still unfair,” she complained lightly, despite the fact that suddenly Emma didn’t really care much about it at all anymore. Regina could keep embarrassing her if she wanted to, so long as it made the woman smile. “Were those bushes even prize-winning?”

Regina’s amused smirk was answer enough.

“…I hate you.”

“No you don’t,” Regina replied with a chuckle, stepping back to admire the singular rose that was gifted to her. A small smile graced her lips then, and Emma’s heart felt like it was expanding twice its size just from the sight of it. Regina was absolutely breathtaking when she was happy, and Emma resolved then and there to always make her look that way, should the other woman allow her to.

Grinning herself around a tiny bite to her lower lip, Emma leaned against the threshold of the doorway, still admiring the woman in front of her as she admitted softly, “No, I really don’t…”

Regina’s eyes met hers then, and suddenly it was her turn to become a little embarrassed as she realized she had been caught openly admiring the fact that Emma had given her something like that. Tearing her gaze away, Regina cleared her throat and busied herself by bringing the vase to the foyer to display it on the front table. 

“So am I to assume that you’re using your parents as babysitters solely to get a moment alone with me?”

Busted.

“Well, you… said I could come over earlier,” Emma tried to defend, but the excuse was flimsy and they both knew it. Shoving her hands in her pockets, she rocked on the balls of her feet as she shrugged. “So really it was just a happy coincidence?”

Regina murmured a noncommittal sound in response that was totally infuriating because damnit, Emma couldn’t actually read minds or anything, but when the woman turned away from the vase on the table, she finally quirked a singular eyebrow in the blonde’s direction. “You know,” Regina began, crossing the distance between them with a judgmental stare that looked almost _challenging_ at this point, “despite your declaration of ‘friends’ the other day, one might be inclined to believe that showing up on someone’s doorstep with a rose in your hand is an indication of a date.”

The space between them was eradicated into barely anything at all, forcing Emma to remember that breathing was synonymous with living as Regina stopped just a singular inch before her. Her eyes searched the blonde’s for a moment, before that damn eyebrow arched even higher. “But that would be awfully presumptuous, wouldn’t you agree?”

Emma felt trapped. Not just because she literally _was_ between Regina and the freaking wall, but because now she didn’t know if Regina wanted this to be a date or not. Her words were all _how dare you think that_ , but her body language was telling an entirely different story and, Jesus Christ, Emma was _so_ confused.

“I…”

“Do you usually bring your friends roses when you come over to their houses, dear?”

“No, but—” Oh god, Emma needed to stop staring at her lips and just _think_ damnit, because words were suddenly becoming an issue and the longer she stared, the more of an idiot she started to look like. And let’s face it; Emma really didn’t need any more help in that area. “I just… uh, you were all aggravated on the phone, you know? So I thought that it’d make you happy, that’s all. I wasn’t trying to push or anything and… I mean, roses can be just a friends thing, right?”

Right? Wrong? Oh God.

But Regina merely searched her face for one long, agonizing moment before finally stepping back from Emma’s personal space and responding with a simple, “If you say so, dear.” And, Jesus, was that a flicker of disappointment in her eyes? Did she just fuck up, because that was _really_ not what Emma was going for. If Regina wanted a date, then Emma was more than happy to oblige; but last she checked, wasn’t that not on Regina’s menu? 

God damnit, Emma had no idea what she was supposed to do anymore.

Before she could rectify the situation though, Regina had already turned back towards her and changed the subject. “So what did you have in mind during our brief reprieve from parenting?” she asked. Yet before Emma could even answer, Regina continued with, “And if you’re about to suggest something juvenile like getting drunk at the nearest bar, I’m going to pointedly remind you that it is only six o’clock in the evening, and that your parents don’t have Henry for the entire night. It’d be terribly irresponsible.”

Emma rolled her eyes; yes, she was aware that they only had about two hours tops, thank you. “I don’t know,” she responded, because she really hadn’t thought that far ahead. Shrugging, Emma suggested, “Maybe a movie? You have Netflix, right?”

“I do,” Regina confirmed, before the answer was followed by a small smirk. “Although I doubt we’ll find something we can agree upon.”

“Yeah, but see, that’s the beauty of friendship,” Emma said with a grin, before walking up to the other woman and lacing her arm in hers. “We can share our own interests, and maybe introduce the other to something they never would have watched, or possibly even _liked_ otherwise.”

“You mean I might actually stand a chance at culturing you, while you merely try to subject me to mindless comedies that only someone with half a brain cell would enjoy?” Regina deduced, trying to sound unenthusiastic about the entire situation despite the slightly firmer press of her body into Emma’s as they walked arm in arm towards the living room. Emma smirked.

“If that’s what you want to call it; but just so you know, I _do_ have a broader taste in movies than just stupid comedies.”

Regina snorted in disbelief. “I’m sure.”

So, in an effort to prove Regina wrong, and to… admittedly, put a few thoughts into Regina’s head, Emma ended up choosing the movie _Imagine Me & You;_ which, okay, probably would have been a brilliant plan, so long as Regina didn’t call her out on it the moment she realized what direction the plot was going in. Which she did.

“Your subliminal messaging seems to have lost its subtly, Miss Swan,” Regina commented, and although she was supposed to be chiding her, she sounded more amused than anything else. Still, Emma’s ears turned a bit pink as she dug her hand into the popcorn bowl and slumped a little further into the couch.

“Whatever,” she mumbled, embarrassed. “It’s a good movie, okay?”

Regina just chuckled, apparently endlessly amused at her expense; which was okay, really, because the woman was sitting so close to her on the couch that if one of them just slightly leaned into the other, they’d practically be snuggling. And yeah, that? That Emma could live with, despite all the embarrassment Regina kept forcing on her just to make herself laugh. 

And then, like a freaking Godsend, Regina chose that moment to reach across her to grab the remote. Which wouldn’t have been anything, not really, except she had to lean into Emma to do so and once she turned up the volume, Regina didn’t exactly… well, she didn’t really lean _back._ She just stayed there, snuggled against Emma’s shoulder as she grabbed some popcorn for herself. 

“You don’t deny it then?” she asked, trying to sound amused before popping a kernel into her mouth. In the end though, Regina’s voice sounded far too hesitant to ever be construed as being caused by anything other than nerves; maybe due to just waiting on Emma’s reaction to the change of position between them. And, oh god, it made Emma’s heart beat at least fifteen times faster inside of her chest.

“Why? You’re just going to know I’m lying,” Emma countered, before taking a risk and leaning her head atop the other woman’s. She held her breath, half of her still expecting for Regina to push her away and demand what the hell she thought she was doing, but instead there was only a slight pause until the tips of Regina’s fingers brushed lightly against the denim of her jeans.

“Yes, well,” Regina responded, her voice sounding much softer than any platonic situation would usually require as she put extra effort into solely staring at the television screen. “You really are a _dreadful_ liar…”

It was, honestly, the best fucking day of Emma’s life. 

There was something so much _better_ , in a way, about the fact that, date or not, it didn’t end with them making out on the couch halfway through the movie with their hands in each other’s pants. Not that Emma would turn that down or anything, but it was just… it was _nice,_ you know, just being with Regina. 

It made the little things seem like so much _more;_ like when Emma took a chance and brushed her fingertips over Regina’s, the woman allowed her to hold her hand during the rest of the movie. Maybe it was juvenile and like a sixth grader’s definition of a date, but it really meant something to her. Going slow, Emma realized, was actually way better than just jumping into the sack with someone; because it was like she could finally enjoy the butterflies and the tension and the nerves which, in the end, when things were received well made a smile so bright etch across Emma’s face that should someone have looked directly at her, she probably would have freaking blinded them.

It was simple, but it was… it was one of the best damn nights of Emma’s whole life. Which probably meant something fucking _terrifying_ like she was starting to fall in love with her, but Emma quickly dismissed that thought because it was way too early for something like that to happen, right?

It was way, _way_ too early.

Still, when the two women were at Regina’s door and saying their goodbyes, the last thing Emma wanted to do was go. She knew, logically, that she had to pick up Henry from her parents and bring him back here, which at least gave her a chance to see Regina one more time before the night was over, but right now they were together. _Alone_ and… and together.

And fuck, Emma didn’t want it to end.

“We should… do this again sometime,” Emma said lamely, running her fingers through her hair as she stood rather awkwardly on Regina’s porch, the other woman standing in the threshold with one hand still holding the door open.

“I’d like that.”

Emma smiled before biting on her bottom lip to suppress it, not wanting to come off as too eager even though, by this point, she could probably just have ‘desperate for Regina’ stamped across her forehead for how subtle she was being about her feelings. 

“So… I, uh, will have Henry back within the hour, okay?” Emma told her, shuffling her weight between her feet, unsure of what to really do. She knew what she _wanted_ to do, but she also wasn’t sure if Regina would appreciate it, so…

“That’s fine, dear.”

“Right. Okay, well…” Emma trailed off, feeling kind of helpless and not knowing what the hell she should do other than just leave, because it wasn’t like Regina was giving her any clues right now. The woman was just staring at her, and for the life of her, Emma couldn’t even _begin_ to read her expression. “I guess I’ll see you later then…”

But just as she turned to walk away, it seemed that Regina had lost her own battle of trying to come off as indifferent, and she quickly implored, “Miss Swan—!” Emma turned in surprise, only halfway down the first step of the porch, and the expression she was confronted with was both frustrated and utterly nervous. To try to sway more one way than the other, Regina huffed before rolling her eyes. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but at the end of a date, isn’t it customary to kiss the woman goodnight?”

…Oh, thank _God._

Emma didn’t even bother with replying. She had crossed the distance between them so fast Regina barely even had time to take her next breath before her face was trapped between Emma’s palms, and the blonde was kissing her so fiercely that the two of them ended up stumbling backwards a few steps. Regina held onto her coat as her back hit the threshold of the doorway, but before Emma could worry about maybe being a little too forceful, the woman’s hand had slipped beneath the fabric to hold onto her hip, pressing the two of them impossibly closer.

And God, it was probably embarrassing, the needy little sound that fell from the back of Emma’s throat the second Regina’s tongue brushed against her own, but at that point, the blonde was far from caring. Regina-fucking- _Mills_ was kissing her on her porch, after calling what they had just done a _date_ , and honestly, right now the world could probably burn to ash around them and Emma wouldn’t be able to find it within herself to notice. All she could focus on was the way Regina’s breathing hitched just slightly the moment that they parted, and the blackness to the woman’s eyes as they finally met each other’s gaze, still pressed firmly together in her doorway. 

“ _Now,_ ” Regina told her quietly, just slightly breathless as she ran her fingers down the blonde’s hip, “you may say goodnight to me.”

Emma grinned wide, every inch of her body alight with a feeling she didn’t know how to name. Unable to help herself, she leaned in to kiss the other woman gently on the cheek, just wanting a little more contact before it was all over. 

“ _Goodnight,_ Regina,” Emma breathed into her ear before she parted fully, purposely making her voice a few octaves deeper to elicit a response. She wasn’t disappointed; although it was slight, Emma could see a shiver run down the brunette’s spine, the feeling of it causing Regina’s hand to tremble slightly against her hip before the contact was suddenly broken, the woman looking a little embarrassed about her own reaction.

Emma winked at her before turning towards her car, and God, it took everything in her to not do cartwheels across the brunette’s front lawn as she heard Regina respond with a wistful sounding, “Goodnight, Emma,” before she retreated into her own house, closing the front door behind her.

Emma.

_Emma._

It wasn’t often that she got to hear her first name fall from the other woman’s lips, but maybe that was what made each time it happened so special. Emma’s cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much as she walked to her car, because this… this was really happening, wasn’t it? Regina wanted a relationship with her; an actual _relationship_ with her. And yeah, maybe it’d go slower than any other Emma had ever had in her lifetime, but that was fine. It was fucking _perfect_ really, because—

But suddenly Emma was jolted out of her thoughts, a sense of unwavering panic instantly spreading to every inch of her body as a cloud of deep purple smoke materialized in front of her car, her path becoming blocked by the last person that Emma honestly thought, despite everything that had happened in the past week, would ever be in Storybrooke. 

_Cora._

“You selfish, _insolent_ little child,” the woman sneered, fury in her eyes as she advanced on her. And fuck, Emma scrambled for her gun, but she was caught so off-guard that she wasn’t quick enough, and in the blink of an eye was being blown back across the pavement, the impact knocking the wind out of her and throwing her gun halfway across the lawn.

“I gave you a chance,” Cora told her as she stepped into her vision, although with how hard Emma had hit her head when she landed, the image of the woman was fuzzy. Suddenly her hair was being fisted in Cora’s hand, but before she could cry out to alert Regina to the woman’s presence, Emma’s voice seemed to be stolen from her. Cora grinned wickedly as Emma tried feebly to make a sound, _any_ goddamn sound, as she brought the woman closer to her face by her hair. 

“Whatever happens now, my dear Savior, is on _you,_ ” Cora breathed, her voice sending an icy shiver down the blonde’s spine. Emma felt like she was going to vomit, but whether it was from the woman’s words or the blow to her head, she wasn’t sure. Everything was spinning. “I want you to remember that. My daughter, the woman you claim to love… when she cries out in agony, when she begs me to stop, it will be because of _you._ You condemned her to this, and I’ll make her hate you for it even if it’s the last thing I do.”

And like the twisted bitch that she was, Cora’s lips then pressed against Emma’s cheek, giving her a chaste kiss before she whispered into her ear, “She will _never_ love you…” 

Unable to see clearly or not, feeling like she was going to vomit or _not,_ Emma didn’t care. She lashed out in a silent, uncoordinated rage, actually managing deck the woman in the jaw before suddenly Cora’s hand shot out in front of her face, and a strong surge of magic made Emma’s world fade into black.

**TBC…**


	8. The Imposter

**CHAPTER EIGHT  
The Imposter**

Regina Mills did not _swoon._ So that was not, in any way, what she was doing once Emma had left her home.

Still, with how she had pressed her back against the door, one hand fisted in the fabric of her shirt over her chest as she smiled, Regina supposed one could logically assume that was what she was doing. But she wasn’t, because that was utterly ridiculous and completely juvenile, and Emma and she were _adults_ , not characters in some in some teenaged romance novel, despite the relatively innocent nature of their relationship resembling such.

But Regina needed it to be innocent. She needed to not feel pressured into sleeping with the woman, because despite her feelings for Emma, something like that would probably take her a good long while to feel comfortable with. When the time came for Regina to finally be with her in that way, she wanted to be with _her,_ and not be flashed backed into memories with her mother and her sadistically manipulative lessons. And it frightened Regina, to realize that it was possible that such a time might not even come; it frightened her because no matter how much she and Emma might care for one another, they were both sexual women, and as such their relationship might not survive without it.

Masturbation, after all, could only take one so far when they both innately craved the intimacy of another’s flesh against their own. It wasn’t like their sexuality was a _choice_ ; and it certainly wasn’t as though they could just convert to asexuality on a whim to make things easier for their relationship. It just didn’t work that way. 

So now Regina was left with wondering whether or not her relationship with Emma was doomed to fail because of the scars of her past. She knew a relationship was more than just _sex,_ but in the end, it could still be the very thing that breaks them; and that put a pressure on her that yes, she could easily ignore right now, but at the same time, Regina knew would inevitably become a factor in their lives at some point. 

One thing at a time though, she reminded herself as she stepped into her study. Emma and she had only just had their first date, and there wasn’t a need to get ahead of herself. Maybe Regina wasn’t giving herself enough credit anyway, and maybe she’d be able to do it when the time came. Still, that wasn’t something she needed to worry about right now, and so she chose not to, instead focusing on how utterly pathetic it was that _already_ she was wishing that Emma was back, at the door with their son so she could invite her in for a drink and perhaps get another kiss or three on the way out.

Good Lord, it was like she was a frivolous teenager again, daydreaming of things she should know better than to think about.

But Regina was in _this_ world now, not the Enchanted Forest with her mother and the woman’s endless expectations about what she ‘should’ be doing. Regina finally had the freedom to explore a relationship of her own choosing without the fear of her mother forcefully ending it, and as such, perhaps in that way it was fitting that she was acting this way. After all, she had only barely gotten to enjoy it as a girl before Cora brutally ripped her happiness from her life, and now in some strange way, Regina finally felt as though she might actually be _honoring_ Daniel’s memory, especially by beginning a relationship with such a familiar air of innocence.

_Then love again._

Regina never believed she would, and perhaps at the moment it was too soon to tell if that was where her relationship with Emma would be heading, but at least Regina was open to the idea. She would always miss and mourn Daniel, but should the positions have been reversed, she wouldn’t wish a life of loneliness on him either. 

Loving someone meant wanting them to be happy, even if it was not with you; which had taken Regina a very long time to both learn and accept. With Henry though, after she relented his care to David while his birthmother and grandmother had been sucked into the portal, she had finally realized that her son’s happiness was far, far more important than her own. And love, whether it was familial, romantic, or platonic, still encompassed the same basic ideals.

So Regina didn’t feel guilty for feeling this way for Emma, because it in no way diminished her love for Daniel. It could never. They were two separate people, and Regina had enough care in her heart for the both of them.

It was a little under an hour by the time the doorbell rang through her home, and Regina instinctively fluffed her hair and straightened her skirt suit before moving into the foyer, her heart thudding a little harder inside of her chest as she opened the front door. But then her brow creased at the sight of only Emma on her porch, sans their child, and worry immediately incased Regina’s entire being.

“Where’s Henry?” she demanded, sounding a little frantic. “ _Did something happen?_ ”

“Of course not, he’s perfectly fine,” Emma tried to assure her, which immediately sounded like a lie because when the hell had Emma ever used phrases like that? Regina had read somewhere once that people’s speech became more formal when they lied, which did not set her at ease in the slightest. Still, Emma continued with, “My… _parents,_ they wanted to spend a little more time with him, that’s all. He’s alright, I promise.”

Regina’s expression washed with suspicion and doubt, because something felt _really_ off, but at the same time, if Henry was in trouble, the last thing Emma would do is lie about it; she cared for their son more than her own life. Which then begged the question, what on earth was she lying about?

“You’re lying to me,” Regina accused, because if nothing else, she knew _that._ “Why?”

Emma exhaled a seemingly frustrated breath, looking a little indignant about being _questioned_ , before she shrugged rather awkwardly. “Perhaps I’m just using their willingness to watch him as an excuse to see you alone again,” she answered lightly, before her gaze met Regina’s and she arched an eyebrow. “Was I wrong in assuming that you wouldn’t mind?”

“While I don’t doubt your ability to be overbearingly persistent, you’re _still_ lying to me,” Regina told her, because her speech alone shot off warning bells inside the brunette’s head that she couldn’t just ignore. Something was wrong, and while the abused child in her immediately thought _Cora,_ the rational part of her knew it was most likely something else. Still, Regina couldn’t fathom, for the life of her, why Emma was lying to her. 

“Regina, don’t be paranoid,” Emma gently tried, taking the brunette’s hand in hers and weaving their fingers together as she stepped into the woman’s personal space. “It really isn’t healthy; and besides, I thought you were past all of that by now.”

“While I may be _past_ worrying that you could be my mother in disguise,” Regina began, not bothering to amend with ‘well, for the most part,’ because she didn’t want Emma to think she was being irrationally foolish again, “I am not an imbecile, Emma; and I can tell something’s wrong.”

“Regina,” Emma said softly, reaching up to cup Regina’s cheek gently in her palm. “I swear to you, I just wanted to see you again; that’s all this is.” Her brow crinkled then as her thumb dusked across the contour of the brunette’s cheek, and Emma looked a little vulnerable as she asked, “Do you… not want to see me?”

Goddamnit.

“Of course I want to see you, don’t be an idiot,” Regina answered, rolling her eyes to show the woman just how preposterous her worries were. Despite her outward huff however, Regina’s insides began to twist within her as a familiar heat rose through her body at being just a hair’s width away from the other woman, and Regina had to take a step back before telling her, “Just… come inside. We’ve already been far too familiar on this porch as it is already, and I don’t feel the need to be the next topic of this town’s idle gossip.”

Keeping a firm hold on the other woman’s hand, Regina led Emma into her home, allowing the blonde to close the door behind them. Something still didn’t feel right, but maybe she was just overthinking things. Emma leaving their son to be babysat by her parents for another hour or so in order to get more alone time was ridiculous, yes, but not entirely out of character either. Still, the way Emma was speaking _was,_ and the nagging feeling in the back of her mind was urging her not to let it go. 

But at the same time, Regina didn’t want to push the issue and make Emma worry for her mental health again. It was entirely maddening, and the brunette felt at a loss about how to approach the situation. 

But she didn’t get a chance to anyway, as suddenly Emma began slowly advancing on her, this little smirk etched across her lips as she gently coaxed Regina’s back against the wall. “My parents said they would watch him for the rest of the evening,” she told her softly, bringing their linked hands over and above the brunette’s head. It wasn’t forceful or anything, so it didn’t frighten her, but Regina’s breathing shallowed nonetheless at the abrupt change in the air between them. 

“So you thought that warranted an extended invitation?” Regina asked, slightly breathless as Emma’s body fit snuggly against her own. She didn’t, however, make a single move to put distance between them, as in that moment, despite the strangeness of the situation, Emma was still _Emma,_ and space from her was the very _last_ thing that Regina found she wanted. “That was awfully presumptuous of you.”

Emma looked a little amused and quirked an eyebrow in response as she leaned in. “Was it?” she whispered against her skin, before her lips found the underside of Regina’s jaw, and then the expanse of her neck. Regina released a shuddered exhale of breath as her eyes fell closed, her paranoia dissolving in wake of just how gently _sensual_ it felt to have the woman’s lips upon her. Whatever Emma was lying about could wait another ten minutes, she supposed; Regina doubted it was something dire anyway, as Emma would never hide something of magnitude from her.

“Yes,” Regina breathed, ever the defiant despite how obvious her need for this might be to the woman against her. She could feel Emma smile against her neck, and Regina’s hand tightened in the blonde’s as another gentle kiss was placed behind her ear.

“Should I apologize then?” Emma asked, her voice tinged with an overwhelming desire despite its softness, and the sound of it caused a heat to shoot straight to Regina’s core as she shook her head.

“No,” she answered before turning, unable to help herself any longer as she captured the woman’s lips in a searing kiss. Emma groaned softly against her lips, and just the sound of it made Regina echo in response as she brought their linked hands down to rest against the blonde’s lower back, pulling her forward to eradicate the last of the space between them.

Regina would’ve been lying should she have pretended that she hadn’t been thinking about kissing Emma in such a way all night. The one they shared on the porch was nice, but as kissing was something Regina had resolved to be okay with, there was a little more that could be explored in that area without taking it too far. The execution of the idea still panicked her slightly, as Regina supposed it naturally would until she got used to doing it, but it wasn’t something that made the experience unenjoyable. She was already nervous for the normal reasons, and in a way it mixed almost harmoniously with that. 

Because anyone’s heart would be beating this heavily the first time they made out with the person they cared for. Regina’s innate sense to panic didn’t add any physical symptoms; it merely tried to further her own paranoia. But this was Emma, and she knew that Emma wouldn’t hurt her; she wouldn’t push too far, and she would respect her. And so Regina pushed down the little voice in the back of her mind that screamed _get out, now!_ and allowed herself to try and enjoy the feeling of it, without her past weighing her down.

The kissing eventually turned heated however, and both women’s breathing began to labor as hands grasped for parts previously unexplored. Regina tried to keep herself in the moment, tried to assure herself that it was alright since it was only over the fabric of her clothes, but as soon as Emma began to suck on her neck and blur the line between fear and safety when she grasped for her breasts, a sense of panic rose up in Regina as she immediately untangled her hand from hers and gasped, “Too much…!”

But Emma didn’t listen.

“Twelve hours,” she breathed into her ear, confusing the woman against her as suddenly it felt like hands were everywhere, and the heat within Regina was starting to burn so fiercely that it bordered more on uncomfortable than pleasurable. Emma’s hand slipped beneath her blouse, the unexpected touch making the muscles in Regina’s abdomen jump as she tried to simultaneously make sense of what Emma was saying while trying to inform the woman – _again,_ since maybe she just hadn’t heard her the first time – that this had passed her comfort zone.

“What?” Regina questioned breathlessly, before Emma’s fingers teased the underside of her bra, threatening to slip beneath its confines. The brunette suddenly gripped her wrist in an attempt to untangle the woman from her, her ability to be patient leaving her as soon as her breathing shallowed in panic. “Emma, I said too much; _slow down!_ ”

But in a flash Emma gained the upper hand, and the wrist she had grabbed was suddenly pinned against the wall while the blonde’s other hand hiked the brunette’s skirt up around her waist. Regina felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her heart was pounding in her throat, and a voice was screaming in her head that she couldn’t distinguish, but knew the fear in all the same. 

“Twelve hours,” Emma repeated, her voice no longer soft but fierce, almost _angry_ as her hand fell between Regina’s thighs, “since you dispelled the barrier; since you felt _safe._ Do you know what that tells me, my dear?”

Regina could barely hear her. The world was blurring and the brunette’s throat constricted painfully around the weight of her own fear as suddenly fingers found their way into her panties. But instead of the feeling crushing her into nothing, it exploded outwards as a desperate scream of, “ _Stop!_ " echoed through the room, the sound bringing with it a burst of magic so strong that it caused the woman atop her to fly backwards.

The blonde (Emma? Oh God) hit the floor hard, but it barely even seemed to phase her, because what came next was a laugh that was so familiar that neither someone else’s face nor voice could mask the horror it brought to Regina.

And that, oh _that_ was the thing that finally crippled her. Regina felt her knees give out and she sunk to the floor in a heap, her vision blurring as she desperately pleaded, _no, no, no,_ inside of her own head, because this couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be real. It was a nightmare, a figment of her imagination. Something, _anything_ but real, please…!

But it wasn’t, because suddenly she was in the air, her back colliding with the far wall so suddenly that it knocked the breath from Regina’s lungs. She couldn’t move; it was as though an invisible force was pressed up against her, keeping her in place. And should Regina have been in the mindset to fight against it, she probably could have easily. But right now it felt like her entire world was falling apart as she watched the Emma look-a-like pick herself up off the ground and saunter over towards her, this cruel smirk etched across her features.

“Where is she?!” Regina demanded, the words coming out choked as they fought through the pain of absolutely everything shattering inside of her. “ _What have you done with her?!_ ”

“Shh, it’s alright,” the woman breathed, pressing her body along the length of Regina’s once more. Her hands parted Regina’s blouse before a light kiss was placed against the top of her left breast, still pretending to be something she wasn’t; someone who _cared._ “Your Savior is here, my love; isn’t that what you wanted…?” 

“No, no, _stop it!_ ” Regina screamed, fury and fear rising up within her so fiercely that she didn’t have the proper concentration to execute it into freeing herself, and only managed to magically shatter every light bulb in the foyer, delving the room into complete darkness. And oh god, that was even _worse._

“Stop wearing her face, you’re not her! Please…!” Regina begged, seeing the moonlit outline of Emma’s features as the woman who wasn’t her raked her nails up the inside of her thigh, so deep that it drew blood and a strangled, desperate cry. “Please, Mama…” Regina broke in the form of a choked whisper, falling into the reality of it despite her fear of accepting it as truth. “Please, _please_ stop; I’m _sorry….!_ ”

“You’re _sorry?_ ” Cora repeated in Emma’s voice, laughing at the audacity in that statement. “Oh, my darling, you’re only sorry because you got _caught._ If I had actually been that disgusting creature you seem to have latched onto, you would have let her fuck you up against this wall. _Begged_ her too, even…”

“No,” Regina gasped out, because that… _that_ was true at least. A hot tear finally scorching its way down her cheek, Regina struggled to breathe as she denied, “No, Mother; I swear, I would _never—!_ ”

But her words fell into a helpless, strangled sound as Cora’s hand latched onto her throat, Emma’s eyes flashing black in warning as her mother got directly into her face and snarled, “Do. Not. _Lie._ To me…” Regina struggled to breathe beneath the hold as Cora continued dangerously, “I was going to give you three days, Regina; _three_ days to prove to me that you had learned, and yet you failed within twelve hours. That level of disobedience is not only unacceptable, but utterly _reprehensible._ I shudder to think how long it’ll take to fix you this time, _what_ it will take to finally make the lesson stick in that head of yours…”

Cora released her then, and as Regina struggled for breath she nearly ended up choking on it. But even with the re-admittance of air, the fear and sorrow seemed to suffocate her still as Regina gasped out, “Is she dead…?” The thought that she could be made Regina want to crumple onto the floor, but her mother’s spell didn’t allow her to move. Choking back a sob, Regina pleaded for an answer and asked again, this time a little more forcefully, “ _Emma,_ is she…?!”

“Not yet,” Cora answered, and Regina didn’t know whether to be relieved or terrified of that answer. But the realization came as her mother smiled wickedly with Emma’s face, and cruelly informed her, “But she will be. _After,_ of course, she has fulfilled her purpose…”

Regina shook her head violently, tears spilling down her cheeks as she fought against a hold she had no power in relieving; not now, not when she felt like everything inside of her had been shattered. But oh, she _tried;_ Regina tried to concentrate enough to get away, tried to concentrate enough to do _something_ , but the fear of what was happening, of what her mother had already done to Emma, ended up having such a firm grip on her that the only thing that came of it was the table in the corner becoming engulfed in flames, completely destroying the only thing that Emma had knowingly gifted to her.

The rose.

“Now, now, none of that,” Cora chided, immediately extinguishing the flames as Regina exhaled a frustrated sob. She began trashing against the invisible hold, but her mother placed her hand atop her forehead and murmured, “Sleep now, my darling; we have a big day tomorrow,” before the fighting stopped, before the tears no longer fell, and Regina’s entire world went as black as her mother’s heart.

[x]

An audible groan echoed through the glass of the mirror, and Cora’s grin widened as she snapped her head towards the sound. The Savior, shackled by her wrists in the belly of Hook’s ship, was finally starting to come to. She had worried the woman had hit her head too hard when she fell to the ground, as when Cora brought her to the Captain, there was blood matted in her blonde hair. And, well, her being near death so soon would have been _terribly_ disappointing. But it seemed she had nothing to worry about, and so Cora turned to address their guest through the glass she had conjured for this very purpose.

“Awake at last, I see. You’ve been so terribly rude to have kept us waiting for so long; my poor daughter was starting to make such a _fuss_ about it.” Turning back towards Regina, who was bound by vines that snaked from the walls to trap her wrists and ankles, Cora cupped her chin gently in her hand and goaded, “Weren’t you, my love?”

Regina, who had long since woken and had already gone through her own stages of absolute panic, pleading, anger, and then finally silent defiance, roughly turned her face away from her mother’s hold and set her jaw, furious tears still stinging the back of her eyes. 

“Regina…?” Emma asked, her voice sounding foggy as she struggled to see into the mirror Cora had placed in front of her. But after a few blinks, her vision must have cleared because suddenly she looked absolutely panicked, and she screamed, _“Regina!”_ as she tried to dart forwards. Her chains stopped her however, and Emma cried out in pain from the strain the abrupt movement put on her arms, causing Hook to tut in disapproval from the other side of the room.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, love; you’ll pull your shoulder right out of its socket.”

“ _Fuck_ you,” Emma sneered as she crumpled to her knees, right before spitting in the man’s direction in absolute contempt. Cora’s lip upturned at the sight.

“Look at her, Regina; she’s an _animal._ She belongs in a barn, not in your bed.” Pursing her lips into a thin line, Cora brought her hand up to stroke through the silk of her daughter’s hair. It was hard, to love someone so dearly who was nothing but a disappointment in the end. “I had thought I raised you better than this, my darling. What happened to you…?”

“ _You_ happened to me,” Regina seethed beneath her breath, but within a moment her anger lay waste to fright as Cora fisted her hand in her daughter’s hair, yanking her head back so roughly that it caused the girl to elicit a cry of pain from the uncomfortable angle.

“You _dare—?!_ ”

“No, Mother; I’m—I’m sorry!” Regina quickly apologized, looking as though she regretted ever trying to be so outwardly defiant. She wasn’t exactly in a position to be, after all. Swallowing hard beneath Cora’s piercing gaze, Regina’s implored gently, just trying to get her mother to calm down, “I’m sorry, Mother. I… I’m just very upset right now, I didn’t mean it.”

The insolent little child. Of _course_ she meant it, but the girl had this little delusion that should she beg for forgivingness in a slow tone meant only for children and complete imbeciles, that she should actually be allotted it. Cora didn’t know _where_ that little belief came from, but no matter…

“Regina, use your fucking _magic!_ ” Emma screamed at her through the mirror, looking like she couldn’t fathom why she hadn’t. It made Cora chuckle as she released her daughter’s hair and turned back to the irritant on the other side of the mirror. 

“Yes, Regina, go on; _use your magic._ ”

That, at least, would surely remind her daughter what backtalk would bring.

Regina instantly shook her head no however, her condescending little look washing away to nothing in the wake of her forthcoming panic and despair. She had already learned once what attempting magic brought to her. The incident in the foyer, well… while Regina had been far too frightened then to be anywhere near a match for her, Cora wasn’t a fool. Her daughter was powerful, and eventually her first instinct to panic would lay waste to anger, resentment, and sheer desperation; should Cora have allowed her to keep her powers intact, their lessons would surely be over before they had even begun, and _that_ was simply unacceptable.

Now, though… well, _now_ Regina’s magic had become a _part_ of the lesson, and it had been so very entertaining to watch her daughter figure out that little fact earlier this morning.

“Now don’t be obstinate, dear; your lover asked you to do something, surely you don’t wish to disappoint her in the last hours of her life.” Cora tsked her as though she was still scolding her little girl, instead of a grown woman. “Go on. After all, I didn’t raise you to be _rude,_ now did I?”

Regina took a shuddered inhale of breath as she closed her eyes, perhaps trying to mentally prepare herself for what was to come. She then waved her bound hand just slightly in an effort to appease her mother, and yet instead of the reaction Cora was expecting, all Regina ended up doing was gritting her teeth as she suffered through the effects of it silently. The older woman sighed heavily. 

“What did you do, try to conjure a silly little flower?” Cora reprimanded, her tone slightly mocking. “You know that’s not what she was asking. The Savior wishes for you to free yourself from your confines, my dear.” Taking a challenging step towards her then, Cora’s tone dropped to a dangerously low level as she viciously encouraged, “So go on then, _free yourself._ ”

“Mama, please don’t make me…” Regina begged softly, finally putting away her foolish pride in wake of how terribly apprehensive she seemed about what would happen should she try anything more. The magnitude of the spell seemed to determine the amount of backlash it brought to her and, well, teleportation did require _quite_ a lot of magic…

“For fuck’s sake, just leave her alone! If she doesn’t want to do it then it doesn’t matter, okay; I don’t give a _shit_ about the damn magic anymore!” Emma yelled through the mirror, at least having enough brain cells to comprehend that whatever was going to happen, it wasn’t going to be pleasant for Regina. Not that it mattered what _she_ thought though, nor what her tiny little brain managed to deduce.

“Do _not_ make me have to ask you again, Regina,” the woman warned, her eyes connecting with her daughter’s. Brow rising in expectation, Cora reminded Regina of a conversation they’d had earlier in the morning about _obedience_ and what the lack thereof would bring to this delicate situation. “You know what will happen.”

And it was that, above all else, that proved to be the most effective motivation when it came to keeping her daughter in line. Regina wanted to protect her son, and should the woman just do as mother asked and take her punishment with _grace,_ then Cora saw no reason to involve the child in all of this. Besides, a person with nothing to lose became far less compliant than someone with hope, and so the boy surprisingly turned out to be very useful in that sense. Regina already knew the Savior’s life was forfeit, after all; and this way, her daughter felt as though she were at least saving _someone._

Where Regina had gotten this God awful hero-complex though, Cora would never know. It was utterly repugnant and such an awful execution of powerful emotion, but she supposed that was just another thing she would be forced to rectify later on.

In the meantime however, it at least forced Regina to play into her hand, and within moments of complying with Cora’s wishes, the woman had crumpled against her restraints as she let out the most horrific sound of pain. It was halfway between a scream and a sob, and the force of it caused it to break in the back of Regina’s throat before she began shaking, whimpering, _crying_ as she tried to bear through the pain of it. It didn’t look as though this time she could however, and Regina’s voice noticeably began to give out from how hard she was continuing to scream.

Damn. Perhaps that had been a bit too much after all; it was so very hard to judge these kinds of things.

“ _Regina!_ ” Emma screamed, looking horrified, _furious_ as her chains clanked loudly against the wall. Fighting against it was no use though, and so the woman began to scream mindlessly, looking torn between devastation and sheer, unadulterated insanity. “I’ll kill you! I’ll _fucking_ kill you; you sick, twisted, sadistic little _fuck—!_ ”

Oh, please.

With a wave of her hand Cora had silenced the Savior’s screams from the mirror, as the woman was so dreadfully headache-inducing with her limited vocabulary and idle threats. Rearranging her expression into one of concern, Cora weaved her fingers through her daughter’s hair as the woman choked and cried through the pain that continued to spread through her nervous system. 

“Shhh, my love,” Cora hushed softly, knowing that it was always best to keep Regina comforted and whole after such punishments; it reminded her daughter of who the _real_ savoir was in her life. “It’s okay; mother will make it all better, I promise…”

Regina whimpered and groaned, unintelligible words falling from her lips that sounded like pleas to make it stop as tears spilled down her cheeks in lines. Pain wasn’t Cora’s first choice of punishment for her daughter, as emotional manipulation yielded much better results, but it did at least open a door for other methods to look better, more favorable. After all, it was always so much better when Regina chose _herself_ how she should be disciplined.

“Here, let’s get you out of these silly restraints, my darling; I’m sure they’re only making matters worse,” Cora complied before waving her hand, causing the vines to snake back from whence they had come while her daughter’s entire body weight fell into her arms. The contact of it though made Regina scream in pain again before releasing a shuddered sob, and Cora had to magic away the woman’s blouse to see the damage.

Regina’s flesh was reddened and sickeningly raw all the way from her wrists to her shoulders and halfway across the expanse of her chest; the cuff links Cora had put on her to manipulate the flow of magic appearing to have caused extensive burn damage to Regina’s otherwise unmarred skin, and the pain of it seemed to be _excruciating._ The woman was sobbing, shaking in her arms while gasping for air, and Cora immediately cradled her to her breast as she breathed, “It’s alright, my love; mother will make it stop hurting. That dreadful woman may have forced this fate upon you, but I will always be there to dry your tears…”

Running her hand down the expanse of her daughter’s body, Cora syphoned what she needed from her and healed Regina’s flesh without another word. It took a little while, but when it was all done it looked as though the woman had never experienced such pain at all, and Cora smiled sweetly at her daughter before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. “See?” she whispered in her ear as she gently ran her fingers through Regina’s hair. “Good as new.”

Regina buried her face in Cora’s bosom then, still heaving with the force of her tears as she clung to her like a child. Being tortured always did make the girl so terribly needy. “Please,” Regina begged softly into the fabric of her mother’s shirt. “Please just stop, _please…_ I can stay away from her, you don’t have to do this—”

“Oh, my dear,” Cora breathed into her hair, holding the woman close to her body in a comforting gesture. Incessant coddling was something Regina had always responded remarkably well to after all, despite how ridiculous it may be. “I _do._ And I’m so very sorry to have upset you in this way, but you need to learn. That woman would _ruin_ you; look at what she’s already forced you into, just because she wanted to sate her own wicked desires… She’s selfish, and she would have broken your heart if you had given her the chance. And this, my love, is far less painful than that would have ever been. I’m saving you, Regina.”

“You’re _hurting_ me, Mother…!”

“A small price to pay, my sweet girl,” Cora gently cooed, speaking to Regina as though she were nothing but a naïve child again; but with the way the girl was acting, it seemed appropriate. She was supposed to have grown out of this nonsense, but, _well…_ “You’ll thank me for this one day, Regina; you’ll see.”

Regina fiercely shook her head that was still buried in her mother’s breasts, her fervent denial being accented by another desperate sob as she was seemingly unable to calm herself down and act like an _adult_. Cora released a disappointed breath as she continued to stroke her daughter’s hair in a façade of care and comfort, needing the girl to feel safer before she executed the second part of her lesson. Because most unfortunately, this time around it seemed as though getting this through Regina’s head was going to take a good long while.

But Cora had the time to spare; because that’s what being a mother was about, making time for your children. And as Regina was her only one, Cora knew she had all the time in the world to make things right again.

[x]

Emma felt nauseous.

And while part of that might have been due to the concussion she had clearly suffered when she hit her head on the pavement, most of it was caused by the horrific sounds of Regina screaming as her own mother brutally tortured her. Or, in actuality, forced Regina to brutally torture _herself._ Emma didn’t know what the fuck the woman had done to Regina’s magic, but whatever it was it seemed to bear a terrible reminder of why the brunette should be compliant during all of this and just do what ‘Mommy’ said.

Fuck, just the sound of it tore Emma’s sanity in half, and she was already hanging on by a thread because… God, this was _her_ fault for not believing Regina sooner; for thinking she was being paranoid, irrational due to her own past. And in knowing that she had caused this… Jesus, that was what ate Emma alive from the inside out with guilt, sorrow, and an intense wave of utter self-hatred that made her want to beat her own face in.

Why the hell didn’t she listen? Why the fuck did she have to be so _stupid?_ Why… why… an endless amount of whys with no satisfactory answer lingered in the back of Emma’s mind as she screamed obscenities and threats to the woman on the other side of the mirror, just wanting Regina’s pain to stop, _please!_

She didn’t deserve this; if anything, Cora should be torturing _her._ She was the one the woman hated after all, so why the hell was she inflicting this shit on her own _kid?_ This wasn’t Regina’s fault, it was hers; _she_ pushed, she was the one who kept flirting and doing stupid little things when the other woman had made it clear she couldn’t be in a relationship.

Her fault, her doing; all of this. And fuck, it made Emma want to crumple into a ball and cry.

“I think she muted you, love; no use wasting your breath,” Hook informed her from the other side of the room, sitting casually in a chair with his feet propped up on the table before him. His back was to the mirror, but whether that was because he felt he needed to keep an eye on Emma the entire time, or he just didn’t want to witness what Cora was doing to Regina, the blonde wasn’t sure.

“Don’t fucking speak to me,” Emma snarled, the clanging of her chains accenting her untamed fury with this, with him, with everything. “You’re a disgusting excuse for a human being; rattling on about _good form_ and whatever the hell else in the Enchanted Forest, acting like you’re nothing but an honorable man underneath all that leather, and yet look what the _fuck_ you’re a part of now. Does this seem like ‘good form’ to you, Hook?!”

“Good form is honoring one’s deals, Swan,” Hook reminded her pointedly, a flash of betrayal in his eyes as he looked at the woman chained to the wall of his ship. Gesturing at her with his hook, he finished, “Which is something _you_ don’t seem to understand.”

Oh, fuck the goddamn beanstalk bullshit. Emma had done what she had to, and as someone who seemed to switch sides on a whim, Hook of all people should understand that.

“She’s _torturing_ her!” Emma shouted, gesturing towards the mirror. “How the hell can you sit there and _justify—?”_

But then the words stopped, because Emma’s eyes landed on Regina’s body. Cora had removed the woman’s shirt, and what lay underneath made the blonde’s stomach twist into knots; it was as though some of Regina’s flesh had been seared off her, and it looked positively _sickening._ “Oh my god,” Emma breathed in horror, voice tightening as a singular tear slid down her cheek. What the hell did that bitch do to her…?

“Look!” Emma demanded, furious that the man who was holding her captive, who was _partaking_ in this wasn’t even bearing witness to what was being done to her. “Look at what she’s done to Regina before you sit there and tell me that _this_ is what the ‘honorable’ thing to do is—!”

“Rather not,” Hook responded, not moving an inch from his seat. He did look a little uncomfortable, but within a moment his face was schooled into one of disinterest. “Cora’s family business is none of my own; I’m merely here to act as your jailer, which I will comply with should it get me what I want.”

“What, _Gold?_ ” Emma seethed. “You’re gonna justify the torture of someone else because of your petty need for vengeance—?!”

“It is _not_ petty,” Hook growled, a fierce warning flashing in his eyes for Emma daring to broach such a sensitive subject. “And you’ll do well to never speak of it again.”

“Why?” Emma challenged with a bitter laugh. “You’re going to kill me anyway.”

“Oh, not me, love,” Hook corrected, fiddling with the weapon in his hand as he looked at the blonde on the floor. “Cora does like to be rather hands on about things; I suspect that when the time comes, she’ll kill you herself.” He thought on that for a moment, then tilted his head slightly as he amended, “Or force her daughter to do it; the woman _does_ seem to enjoy putting on a bloody elaborate showing, after all.”

Great, thanks; that made her feel _loads_ fucking better.

Emma’s eyes flickered to the mirror, and her chest swelled in relief once she saw that Cora had healed her. But she was also whispering things to her, holding Regina to her breast while the woman cried in her arms, and it was completely _revolting,_ how Cora could act like she cared for her after what she had just done. The woman was stroking Regina’s hair and murmuring things that no doubt resembled apologies or excuses just to fuck with her daughter’s head; it was almost as though she were preening Regina to develop some kind of Stockholm Syndrome after all this was said and done. It made Emma sick to her stomach, and she prayed that at the end of the day, Regina would remember that it was _Cora_ who had hurt her in the first place. 

“Answer me something,” Emma requested softly, feeling bile threaten her esophagus the longer she watched Regina with her mother. There was something very… _wrong_ about the way Cora looked at her, at the way she touched Regina and spoke to her. “Was it you, who ended up scaring the shit out of Regina that day? Did Cora make you look like me?”

There was a long pause that followed, and suddenly the man looked _very_ uncomfortable as he noticeably shifted in his chair.

“Like I said,” Hook answered slowly, avoiding eye contact when he spoke. “The woman is very hands on.”

Oh, _Jesus…_

Emma tried not to think of it as soon as the conclusion formulated in her mind; tried to justify it with bullshit excuses like, ‘maybe it was just that once,’ or ‘even if it wasn’t, maybe it hadn’t ever gone any further than that;’ but every amendment the blonde could come up with all sounded like lies even inside of her own head, and the truth of it threatened to bring another intense wave of nausea that Emma had to physically struggle to keep under control. 

Because she knew that Regina had been raped as a child; she knew that Cora was abusive, _possessive_ even. She damn well _knew_ that all the pieces fit together to make the most disturbing picture Emma had ever seen, and yet the blonde didn’t want to acknowledge it. She couldn’t, because the fact of the matter was that Regina was in her mother’s clutches again because of _her_ , because of her inability to just keep her stupid ass feelings to herself, and should Cora… if she _raped_ Regina because of it; because of her…

God, Emma couldn’t breathe.

“She’s going to fucking destroy her,” she breathed, watching in horror as Cora kissed her daughter’s forehead, rocking Regina like a baby in her arms to get her to calm down and stop crying. The woman made eye contact with Emma over the top of her child’s head, and a wicked grin spread from ear to ear that made the blonde want to throw up her lunch.

“Of that, I have no doubt,” Hook murmured in his chair, still trying to come off as indifferent despite how shifty he had become once the sensitive topic was raised. Which was strange, because _that_ he seemed to have a problem with, but when it came to torture he barely batted an eyelash? Last Emma checked, pirates were known for their raping and pillaging. “Although to be fair to Her Majesty, I suppose it would be rather difficult to find compassion for those you’re supposed to care for when you’re both heartless _and_ cruel.”

“I don’t give a _fuck_ if she’s heartless, Regina is still her daughter—!”

“No, love, you misunderstand,” Hook interrupted, leaning forwards in his chair to address her properly. “Cora quite literally _has_ no heart; or at least, not one that’s currently in her chest. Humans can be cruel by nature, but there’s always a limit because of our hearts and the compassion we hold in them, even if it’s for none save a few. And yet our dear _Cora…_ ”

“Feels nothing at all?” Emma asked in horrified surprise, the color draining from her face as she tore her gaze from the mirror to look at the man in front of her. He merely shrugged.

“I don’t know the extent of it,” Hook admitted. “But I’ve witnessed a lot of things from that woman, and not one among them was anything even remotely resembling compassion. So whatever Cora has planned for you both, I would stake my life on the fact that this is only the beginning; and that it’s only going to get far, _far_ worse from here.”

Emma tried to not imagine scenarios, but they kept coming at her so hard and so fast that the speed and severity of them made her both dizzy and nauseas, causing her to finally lose the battle with her stomach as she pitched over and vomited onto the floor. Hook made a sound of displeasure at the sight, but Emma couldn’t give a fuck if he didn’t like seeing it; the man was sitting there playing jailer while Regina was getting _tortured,_ and if he damn well didn’t want to bear witness to that, then the least he could fucking do was watch how unpleasantly this affected her. Screw him and screw his goddamn boat.

Spitting out the remnants of bile from her lips, Emma snapped her head towards him as she glared at the man with angry, bloodshot eyes. “Some honor code you have. If you’re going to subject us to this, then the least you can do is grow a set of balls and _watch_ while—”

“I may not have a lot, Swan,” Hook interrupted firmly, cutting her off. “But I do have my word; the least I can do is honor it, no matter how unpleasant the circumstances may become.” He then raised an eyebrow challengingly and continued, “And you may deem me not a man, but I was raised to not gawk at a woman’s weaknesses. The Queen doesn’t need me to bear witness to her lowest moment, and if you were smart, love, you’d allot her the same privacy; if for nothing else than to save yourself the heartache of it all.”

“I’m not going to abandon her like that,” Emma furiously responded. “I might not be able to protect her from this, but I’m not going to let her go through it feeling like she’s alone either. Regina needs support, not someone selfishly ignoring her pain; because that, you one-handed fucker, is what a _coward_ would do, not any _man._ ”

That, at least, seemed to hit a nerve. But in the end, the sad truth of it was that none of this even mattered. Emma could hurl insults at Hook all day, lecture him on how to be a proper human being, and none of that would be able to take away from the horrible fact that soon, Cora would deem Regina ready to play with again. And that, _that_ was what frightened Emma, more than being trapped, more than death, because she could only imagine what a woman could do without her heart, and the last thing Emma ever wanted was for Regina to ever, ever find out.

**TBC…**


	9. The Confession

**CHAPTER NINE  
The Confession**

In a way, all of this seemed almost surreal.

Regina had lived for so long being afraid that this would happen, but never truly thinking that it ever would again. Once her mother had been pushed through the Looking Glass, Regina believed it safe to assume that she would never see the woman again. Regardless of her assumptions however, the paranoia had never really stopped, even after her mother and Hook had deceived her into thinking Cora was dead. So that was all it was, a _paranoia;_ something completely irrational that had etched in the back of Regina’s mind, forever forcing her to remember her mother’s lessons about obedience. That didn’t, in any way, make it real.

But this… _this_ was real.

And yet at the same time it didn’t feel like it was at all. Perhaps it was because Regina was grown now, and as such didn’t react in the same way to her mother’s lessons as she had as a child. There were moments, of course; moments of begging and crying and absolute, excruciating _pain,_ but after the panic had died down and the truth had set in, for the most part this entire experience left Regina feeling nothing but rather… hollow, seemingly lifeless. She was almost like a doll in a way; just allowing herself to be played with in however her mother desired so that perhaps it would be over with quicker.

But that wasn’t what Cora wanted from her, and as such, once Regina had attempted to just disconnect from reality, her mother began making it her mission to force her daughter back into feeling everything that she had purposely tried to bury in some vain attempt to salvage her already fractured sanity.

“Tell me, my love; do you truly believe that she is worth all this pain?” Cora breathed into her ear, an arm wrapped possessively around her stomach as she held Regina to her chest. No longer fearing that Regina would run from her fate, as she couldn’t get very far without magic anyhow, Cora allowed her daughter the freedom to move. And now they were staring into the full length mirror, at the image of Emma crumpled on the floor with her wrists chained and a fury in her eyes that, should she have had the power, would have incinerated Cora on the spot.

And God, Regina tried desperately to bury the guilt that she felt, but it was so very difficult. Emma was going to die because of _her,_ and that thought made her want to tear her own heart from her chest and crush it in her hand. She didn’t deserve to care for anyone, as all it ever brought them was pain and suffering; and Emma, like Daniel, did not deserve this. They were just victims of her own selfish need to feel connected to someone, and Regina hated herself for causing the past to repeat in such a way.

Still, her answer was soft, honest, as her gaze connected with the blonde’s. “Yes.” Because Emma was; even should this end horribly, the woman had made her feel like she mattered, like she was important and worth caring about, regardless of all the horrible things she had done in the past. Regina despised how selfish that sounded, as it wasn’t just her who was being punished for this, but it was the truth; she was glad that, even if it was just for a moment, she got to experience something like that again.

“And do you believe she feels the same?” Cora asked, her fingers tracing patterns across the taught muscles of her stomach as Regina stood there in nothing but her skirt, bra, and stockings. Emma said something then, seemed as though she yelled it from the look of things, which at least meant that she was able to hear _them;_ but as Cora had still not permitted sound to come from her side, Regina was at a loss about what it was that was said. She hoped it was a yes, but perhaps that was too much to hope for, given the state of things.

Regina’s voice was small, uncertain as she looked at the woman on the other side of the glass. “I don’t know.”

“You hope that she does though… don’t you, my dear?”

“Yes,” Regina admitted, still unable to tear her eyes away from the woman that she cared for, even as her mother’s fingers danced dangerously beneath her breasts. Her jaw trembled slightly, but Regina pushed the feeling down and away before she told her mother, “That’s what makes it bearable.”

“ _No,_ ” Cora corrected fiercely, the word being hissed into her ear like a warning before suddenly, her voice grew softer, more understanding as she ran her fingers through her daughter’s hair. “No, my darling,” she cooed, brushing a strand from her eyes. “ _That’s_ why this is so very hard for you. _Hope,_ Regina, is such a dangerous thing; and despite knowing how this will end, there’s still a part of you that is praying that the Savior will free herself, free _you…_ ”

“You wish for her to become the hero at the end of your little tale, but that’s not what she’ll be,” Cora continued, fingers splaying on her daughter’s abdomen as lips began to brush Regina’s neck. “And the sooner we get those foolish thoughts out of your head, the happier you will be. When your belief that that sorry excuse for a woman could ever love someone like you has been thoroughly eradicated from your mind, you will soon submit to me and then this, all this unpleasantness, my darling, will be over and done with. Wouldn’t you like that?”

It was nauseating, how her mother still spoke to her as though she was nothing but a silly child. Still, no amount of coddling and condescending tones could ever mask the implication in her mother’s words, and Regina’s stomach plummeted as she realized that her mother didn’t just mean to destroy her relationship with Emma, she meant to eradicate all of the hope associated with it. 

It wasn’t just the woman’s death that would sate her mother anymore; it was the absolute destruction of everything Regina thought they had; everything they could _still_ have, if by some miracle they were able to get out of this. But now Cora wanted to shatter that as well, and make certain that the woman Regina cared so much for would _never_ be able to stomach looking at her again, and God, that thought alone made Regina want hide under a rock and cry her weight in tears. 

She knew… on some level she knew this would happen, that this was coming, but Regina had prayed that her mother sought physical pain more than emotional this time around. But that was foolish, wasn’t it? Her mother had beat her as a child, yes, but that wasn’t something she favored once she had realized other methods were far, far more effective than the norm.

“Mother, please…” Regina pleaded softly, her voice barely above a whisper as she stood stock still, trying to fight the urge to be ill. She didn’t want Emma to know these things, or worse; _witness_ these things. The shame of it… Regina didn’t know if she’d ever be able to bear it; it would kill her to have Emma look at her with such disgust, such utter _contempt._

“This will free you, my love,” Cora breathed into her ear, still holding tight to her daughter’s body like a prized possession. Regina could feel her wicked smile on her skin though, and it disillusioned her whispered words of encouragement as anything that could even remotely resemble care for her. This wasn’t about love, and this certainly wasn’t about _freeing_ her at all; it was about destroying Regina completely and everything she had ever dared hope to want. 

“She knew, didn’t she; what would happen should the both of you pursue this misconstrued idea of romance?” Cora asked when Regina didn’t respond to her. Her daughter’s continued silence was answer enough for that though. “She knew I would punish you, but she didn’t know how. She never even cared to ask, did she? Taking you despite my warnings… it was such a selfish thing to do, and to make matters worse, she couldn’t even be bothered to find out what would come of her own actions.”

“So go on, my dear, tell her…” Cora encouraged softly, her nails dragging over the expanse of her daughter’s torso. “Tell her what happened the last few times you tried to defy me in this way; tell her what exactly it is that she condemned you to.”

Cora passed her hand over the mirror, and suddenly Regina could hear the woman on the other side of it. “—really don’t have to tell me, Regina; it’s okay…”

The woman behind her laughed. “You truly believe you have a say?”

“Well it’s fucking pointless,” Emma snapped, her chains rattling against the wall as she furiously gestured towards the mirror. “You’re going to kill me anyway, so why the hell should Regina have to play your sick—?!”

“Henry,” Regina breathed, her face washing with apology and regret as she watched Emma take a sharp inhale of breath at the sound of their son’s name. “That’s what she’s holding over me; not you.”

And in the end, that was why Regina would do everything her mother told her to do. Getting Emma dragged in the middle of this was terrible enough, but her son, _their_ son… he was just a child, just their little boy. Regina couldn’t bear to put him through something like this, and by the look on her face, neither could Emma. Except where Regina had despair and guilt, Emma had unadulterated _rage._

“You stay the _fuck_ away from our kid!” Emma shouted, pulling against her restraints as her eyes flashed with fury. “If you so much as _touch_ him—!”

“I gave my daughter my word that I wouldn’t, so long as she abided by my lessons. _So,_ ” Cora accented pointedly, staring hard at the woman on the other side of the mirror, “unless you wish for me to bring that child here _now,_ you will listen to what Regina has to say to you.” Nails scraped up the expanse of her back then, and Regina took a shuddered inhale of breath as Cora wrapped her hand around the clasp of her bra, roughly pulling her up against her mother’s breasts. “Go on, my dear,” the woman breathed in her ear. “Tell the Savior your secrets.”

“I already _know!_ ” Emma shouted furiously, in an effort to not make Regina have to go through any of this. And although she knew Emma wasn’t a fool and would have most likely guessed by now, the words still made Regina’s stomach plummet as a hot wave of shame crept up her spine. Her brow creased and a look of distress washed over her face, causing Emma’s apologetic expression to deepen as she looked directly at her and breathed, “Regina, I… I already know; and it’s… it is _not_ your fault, okay? Don’t ever fucking think that it is.”

Regina wished that that made it easier, but in a way it was almost worse that Emma had guessed, because the fact of the matter was, she hadn’t guessed the whole truth of it. And how could she? In her eyes, Regina was just her mother’s victim; but no matter how much she fought against the inevitable, it never stayed that way. That was the point, that was the entire _lesson,_ and that was what made Regina hate herself more than anything. Because this, being _forced_ to do something? That would never be her fault. But _submitting_ to it? Oh, that was…

Regina tried to bury it, tried to disconnect and tried to pretend that none of this mattered, but she was fighting a losing battle. Her hand suddenly flew to her mouth to stifle a small sob, just as her mother smiled wickedly behind her. “And what do you think you know, Savior?” she purred, fingertips dancing along her daughter’s skin as her eyes connected challengingly with the blonde’s.

“I know you…” Emma struggled to say, but it seemed she had trouble voicing it and had to swallow hard. But she fought past it then, her tone becoming accusatory and hateful as she answered, “I know you’ve raped her, you sick _fuck—_ ”

“Oh, that is such an _ugly_ word,” Cora reprimanded, tutting in disapproval over the use of it. “And not at all true, is it, dear?” Her fingers weaved in Regina’s hair then, pulling the woman’s head towards her so she could nip just below her earlobe, a smirk etching across her face as she amended, her hand still fisted possessively in the brunette’s hair, “Well, eventually, anyhow…”

Regina couldn’t look at Emma, couldn’t bear to witness the look on her face. Her hand still covering her mouth as silent tears streamed down her cheeks, Regina’s eyes wouldn’t leave the floor as her mother touched and nipped and kissed what she wished of her. “Tell her, my love,” Cora breathed into her ear, her hands now cupping the fabric over her breasts. “She knows your punishment, but she doesn’t know why it ever stops. _Tell her._ ”

“I…” Regina tried, but her chest was constricting so tightly that she felt as though she could barely breathe as another tear fell down her cheek. Taking a shuddered inhale of breath, Regina closed her eyes and pretended she was far away from here as she admitted in a broken whisper, “I want it. When I— when I want it… _that’s_ when it stops…”

“And how many times has this happened, my darling…?” Cora coached, apparently wanting Regina to reveal every last bit of her past shame as her fingers toyed with the clasp on her bra.

Regina refused to open her eyes, and her answer was muffled against her hand. “…Twice.” The clasp snapped then, the fabric loosening around her torso, and Regina had to quickly place her hand over her breasts to keep it from falling off. _“Mother!”_ she exclaimed, scandalized. It was bad enough she was being subjected to this truth session as it was, but to have to do so completely bare? No. _No!_

“Oh, don’t be bashful, my love; we both know how you’ve _ached_ for her to see you…”

“Not like this,” Regina pleaded, her hand clutching protectively to the fabric covering her. She had turned towards her mother once it had been released, and in an effort to implore her, Regina buried her face in her mother’s neck. “Please, Mama,” she begged, voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll tell her everything, but don’t make me—!”

“Shhh,” Cora breathed into her hair, finger tips skimming her daughter’s shoulder as she gently pushed the straps down her arm. 

It was almost loving, how she touched her; it was gentle, accented by soft kisses to her shoulder, her neck, and it caused another silent sob to wrack Regina’s body. This was the closest thing to love that her mother could allot her, and what was terrible was that because of that, Regina craved these lessons over the pain of her others. It was something at least; something to hold on to, when the rest of her hope and her sanity burned to ash within her. 

“I’ll be gentle with you this time, my darling; there’s no need to be afraid…”

The fabric was pulled entirely from her torso then, and Regina refused to turn around, just hiding in her mother’s neck in an attempt to block out everything else. It wasn’t as though she was shy about her body, but she had wanted the first time Emma saw her to be… God, not _this._ This was fucking terrible, and it made sorrow choke up in the back of her throat.

Emma, who had probably been struck silent with horror after Regina’s confession that at some point, she actually enjoyed her mother’s touch, finally found her voice. “It’s okay, Regina,” she tried, her own voice sounding strained with an emotion the brunette couldn’t decipher. “I won’t look, I promise. I’ll keep my eyes closed.”

Cora, who had once been something almost resembling gentle just moments before, immediately snapped her head up in challenge. “You will bear witness to every _second_ of this, Savior, or it will be _your_ disobedience that brings your son here,” she warned fiercely. “That agreement did not only extend to my daughter, but to you as well; so I suggest you stop trying to make things easier for her, as it will only make things _worse_ for your boy.”

“Go _fuck_ yourself, you disgusting psycho-cunt,” Emma sneered, her eyes blackening with contempt as she gave into her first instinct to lash out, feeling utterly furious over her own helplessness in this situation.

But that frightened Regina, as Cora could take it as a challenge, and within seconds the brunette had turned away from her mother to implore, “No, Emma, don’t—!” 

It was the first time she had looked at her since her confession, and within a moment of their eyes connecting, Regina felt her face grow hot as tears stung the back of her eyes. She dropped her gaze to the floor then, suddenly feeling terribly unworthy of the woman’s eye contact. “Just… _please,_ ” Regina implored softly, feebly trying to cover her breasts with her hands. “Just let her do what she wants and be quiet about it.”

“Look, I swear to God I’ll play nice enough to not get Henry dragged into the middle of this clusterfuck,” Emma promised her. “I’ll watch, I’ll listen; whatever… but I am _not_ going to just sit here silently as she _rapes_ you, Regina; that’s _fucked,_ and that bitch deserves to know exactly how disgusting she is for _ever—!_ ”

“It’s not rape if I choose it!” Regina snapped angrily, frustration and upset mixing with her shame and self-hatred, causing her to lash out in an attempt to disassociate her own feelings for Emma. Even if they do make it out of this, the woman would never look at her the same again, so why bother hiding anything anymore? Whether she knew a little or a lot, Emma would still think her disgusting either way for ever enjoying it. “And she is going to make me choose.”

“You know me so well, my darling,” Cora purred from behind her, placing her lips on her daughter’s shoulder as she gently coaxed Regina’s hands to fall from her breasts. The brunette shut her eyes, but didn’t fight her mother exposing her to Emma; there was no point. She could hear the blonde suck in a sharp breath at the sight, and Regina was glad she couldn’t see the look on her face. “You remember how much it pleased me the last time, don’t you…?”

“And the first time?” Emma challenged, trying to get through to Regina even though the woman was trying to block her out. “Did you choose _then?_ Did you ask for her to touch you, Regina?” The way she questioned it, it was like she already knew the answer.

Even still, Regina shook her head in silent response, still unable to make eye contact.

Cora smiled wickedly against her skin, her fingertips dusking across the underside of her daughter’s breasts as she encouraged, “Tell her, my darling. Tell her how long it took for you to want it, even after you denied me at first; tell her _exactly_ how long it took until you begged Mommy to fuck you harder…” Chuckling against her skin, Cora continued, “The foolish girl thinks you’re a victim, but that’s not true, is it, Regina?”

“No,” Regina breathed, because despite feeling like one sometimes, the moment she remembered _wanting_ her mother’s touch, it suddenly made every time she didn’t become completely irrelevant in her mind. A singular tear fell down her cheek then, and Regina inhaled a shuddered breath as she wiped it away. She just wanted this over with, so she didn’t even wait for her mother to demand that she answer her previous question as she revealed softly, “One hour. It… it took one hour.”

Cora looked pleased by her daughter’s willingness to reveal things much easier now, and she pet Regina’s hair with one hand while the other slid over the waistband of her pencil skirt. “And the second time?” she prompted gently, wanting her to get out all of her indiscretions; every last one of them.

Eyes still glued to the floor, feeling a terrible rush of heat color her face, Regina murmured, “Three nights.” Which was _worse_ in a way, because Regina had already known what was coming when she started, and yet she chose fucking her own mother over being brutally beaten after she had vomited all over that young girl’s dead body; solely because a part of her still ached for her mother to accept and love her, even if it was in a way like that. But like before, the moment that she truly desired it, desired _her,_ she was tossed aside like she was less than trash and mocked for ever being so disgusting.

She should have learned the first time around. She hadn’t. And even now, the past was going to repeat itself once more, and Regina felt herself falling into it because she didn’t know what else to do. What other choice did she have now, other than to relive her own foolish mistakes?

“Regina, look at me, _listen_ to me,” Emma implored, but Regina’s throat constricted and she just… she couldn’t; she couldn’t bear it. “If it took three nights for her to fuck with your head enough to make you… to make you think that you wanted it, that’s still _three goddamn nights_ that she forced her way into your bed until you gave in. You said you chose it, but not wanting it at first _isn’t_ choosing it, Regina—!”

“ _Stop making excuses for me!_ ” Regina shrieked suddenly, hating that even after all of this, Emma still sounded like she had _compassion_ for her. She didn’t deserve compassion. “I chose to sleep with my own mother over getting beaten for my disobedience; she didn’t _force_ herself anywhere the second time!”

“Obviously she did if she stops only when you actually _want_ it!” Emma shouted, desperately trying to get through her head. Regina could feel her mother, oddly quiet during this exchange, smile wickedly against the skin of her neck as she witnessed her daughter stand up for her. “That’s rape, Regina; you might have chosen what you thought was the lesser of two evils then, but choosing something you still don’t want doesn’t make what she did to you consensual!”

“I said _stop!_ ” Regina screamed, tangling her fingers in her hair as she shook her head violently. Her mother’s grip on her tightened protectively, and there was laughter that sounded like an echo in the back of her mind. But why, why was she being so silent during all of this? Why wasn’t her mother dictating their interaction anymore, why was she just _letting—?_

Regina felt like she was falling apart. Emma’s words made her feel sick, _infuriated_. She was being an idiot, but then wasn’t she always? Her idiot, always seeing the good in people; but there was no good in her anymore, was there? _This_ was what Regina was; just a possession of her mother’s, and she couldn’t even do that right anymore. Regina just wanted it to stop. She wanted Emma to stop making excuses, stop having hope that there was a light of the end of this tunnel, because that tore Regina apart more than it would if Emma was just sickened by her.

_Why wasn’t she sickened by her?!_

“Just stop trying to make it better, it will _never_ be better!” Regina screamed, furious tears staining her cheeks, and she finally looked at the woman through the glass. “Even if this doesn’t end how my mother wants, I can _never_ be with you, Emma; not after this! So just stop trying to justify what I’ve done in your head, stop thinking I’m a decent person underneath it all because I am _not!_ This is what I am, what I’ve always been, and you… you _don’t_ want that….” 

The world was a blur as tears clouded Regina’s vision, the only thing remaining being her mother’s touch and the sound of Emma’s frantic voice as the brunette grabbed Cora’s hand, placing it on the zipper of her skirt. She just needed this to be over with; needed it to stop. 

Mother always knew how to make it stop.

“I don’t want to want you anymore, Emma,” Regina told her softly, the apologetic tone making the words break in her throat. Her mother wordlessly watched the exchange from behind her, a satisfied smirk etched on her face as she gently pooled Regina’s skirt at her feet, just letting her daughter take the reins in digging her own grave. Usually Cora had to be the one to push, the one to force an end to all this debauchery, but no… no, not this time.

This time, Regina was going to _beg_ for her mother to fix it, because she just didn’t know what to do anymore. She had screwed everything up.

“I’ll never have you, not after this; and that… that’s what makes this hurt, Emma. And I’m… God, I’m _sorry,_ ” Regina choked out, her emotions overwhelming her as she suddenly realized what it was that she was about to do. How truly fucked up it was. But right then, with the world spinning at her feet and the guilt eating her alive, it was the only solution Regina saw. “But now I… I need to make you not want me either.”

“Regina, don’t—!” Emma frantically tried, but it was too late; the woman had already made her decision. And so Regina swallowed the sickness she felt inside for what she was about to do, turned in her mother’s arms, and collided their lips together in a wave of frantic desperation and despair. She just wanted it all to stop. Please, please…

_Please, Mommy, just make it stop…_

[x]

Well, this certainly went a lot better than Cora had been expecting.

She had known, going into this, that it wouldn’t be like it was before. There were a lot of variables to consider; Regina was grown now, and as such had time to gain a strength that she didn’t have before. It seemed that time, however, only broke her daughter further. That, coupled with the fact that this time, Regina actually had someone she truly cared about _watching_ all this happen, left Cora wondering how exactly her daughter would react.

The humiliation part of her lesson was a given; she needed Regina to feel ashamed for what she had allowed to happen all those years ago between them. She needed her to feel like it was _her_ fault, otherwise she could have justified all of this by believing herself to be victimized. But Regina wasn’t a victim, she was nothing but a girl who had chosen the wrong path in life, and as such needed to be set straight. Cora didn’t do this to be _cruel,_ she did it because she cared, because she didn’t want to see her daughter waste her life away on a woman who wouldn’t give her what she needed; a woman who, in the end, would do nothing but break her heart.

It had irked Cora when she realized that the Savior had no intention of looking at Regina like she was something to be despised, despite everything that the woman had admitted to doing. It was crucial for the girl to no longer desire Regina, so that perhaps her daughter could let her go, but Emma had refused to play into the role that Cora had designated to her. Thankfully, Regina’s own guilt and self-hatred would not allow such support when she felt as though she didn’t deserve it, and as such, in the end, all Emma managed to do with her silly little declarations of it ‘not being her fault’ was drive her daughter further into her arms.

Regina didn’t feel like she deserved to be cared about, and it made her despise the fact that Emma still did. It seemed to make her feel even guiltier, and now she was begging her own mother to fuck her just to make the woman stop looking at her like she was something deserving of sympathy; just to make _herself_ no longer want what Emma could have offered her, as she believed that after everything, there was no hope of her ever finding happiness with her.

It couldn’t have been more perfect even if Cora had planned it that way.

Regina was absolutely _frantic_ as she grasped for her, fingers tangling in Cora’s hair as she kissed her like they were lovers who had been reunited. Out of everything though, that was truly the most strange. She and her daughter never _kissed,_ not really; it wasn’t something Cora cared very much about doing, as it didn’t make a significant enough impression on Regina’s fractured psyche, and it was something her daughter would never initiate otherwise. Still, Regina was desperate as she grasped for every inch of her that she could find, her cheeks damp with fresh tears and she began to beg shamelessly against her lips.

“Make it stop, Mother… please just— I need all this to stop…!” Grabbing Cora’s hand in her own, she forced her mother between her legs. “Make her hate me; I need her to hate me, Mama, _please…!”_

“Shh, my love,” Cora breathed, wrapping her arms around her daughter in an effort to calm her down some. This would be entirely unenjoyably if Regina was too crazed to realize what it was that she was truly doing. As such, she didn’t slide her fingers into her daughter’s undergarments like she wished her to, and instead cradled the woman to her breast as she kissed her forehead. “It’s okay, my darling; Mother will make it all better, but you need to breathe for me first. Can you do that…?” 

“Regina, please, I’ll hate you if that’s what you want, just don’t do th—!” Emma tried, but with a quick wave of Cora’s hand the mirror was muted again, and the woman’s words cut off. She didn’t want the Savior changing her daughter’s mind, after all; it would be so much simpler should Regina just _comply_ with her punishment, and right now she was practically begging for it.

Still, Regina did need to find her breath before this began, because right now she was sobbing and pleading and, ugh, it was so _terribly_ unbecoming of her, and not in the least bit attractive on a grown woman. Practically choking on her own tears, Regina buried her face in her mother’s neck and breathed, “It hurts… it hurts to look at her, it hurts to want her…”

“Hush,” Cora encouraged, running her fingers through Regina’s hair as the girl cried into her shoulder. It was immensely irritating but, well, no one said being a mother was easy. Exhaling a sigh as she willed herself to have patience, Cora breathed into her hair, “It’s alright, I know how to make the pain go away, my dear. Do you trust your mother…?”

But that didn’t gather the automatic answer that Cora wanted. Regina did however choose that moment to look up at her, eyes all watery and bloodshot as vulnerability made her look so much younger than her years. “Are you gonna hurt me again, Mother…?” she asked quietly, looking as though just the thought of it would send her into another frenzy.

So of course, Cora lied to her.

“No, my darling,” she assured her, grasping her daughter’s face between her hands as she wiped her tears away. “I know how hard this must be for you, to let go of someone you cared about. And I’m so very proud of you, Regina, for realizing that this is what needs to be done. You’ve learned your lesson without having to be punished, and that shows that you have grown _so_ much, my love.”

Smiling softly at her, Cora ran her thumb beneath her daughter’s eye to swipe at another tear. “Recognizing that you have made a mistake is the first step to rectifying the damage it has caused you, and because I love you, Regina, more than _anything_ else in this world, I am going to help you get better. Alright, my darling? I’m going to help you get better. This isn’t about punishments anymore, and I’m certainly not going to hurt you; I’m going to _save_ you, because that’s what mothers do for their children.”

“You won’t toss me away afterward?” Regina asked, her voice tiny and vulnerable as another tear fell down her cheek. “You won’t… call me disgusting, will you? Because… because, Mama, I just _can’t—_ ” 

Oh, good Lord; her daughter’s craving for love could be so terribly warped sometimes. Cora might indulge in her more sinful desires from time to time with Regina, but she was certainly not looking to be her _lover._ That would be as distracting as any other woman, and as such was not allowed. Still, if Regina needed to feel like she would be loved and taken care of after all this was said and done, then of course Cora would say anything to appease her.

“I would _never,_ ” Cora breathed fiercely, looking her daughter in the eyes to try to convey an honesty where there was none to be found. “And I’m so terribly sorry I hurt you before, but I was angry that you had disobeyed me. And while I’m still upset that this had to be brought about in the first place, it doesn’t diminish the fact that I am _proud_ of you, Regina, for realizing that that woman isn’t good for you. I won’t toss you away because I love you, and should you need me, then I will _always_ be there for you.”

Regina’s eyes shined brightly as she looked up at her, all this love and care and _trust_ forming in just mere moments from words that held no meaning. Oh, it had always been so terribly easy, to manipulate her daughter with promises of affection; she was like a starving dog with scraps, and she ate them up without a thought as to how it was the person who was feeding her now who had caused her to almost die from neglect in the first place.

“Come, my love,” Cora encouraged, wrapping her arm around her daughter’s shoulder as she brought her over to the mirror adorned on the wall. The blonde on the other side had furious tears staining her cheeks as she looked on helplessly, and Cora smiled wickedly at her, basking in the fact that she was _winning._ “Just do everything I say, and this will all be over soon.”

Regina swallowed but nodded her compliance, and Cora stroked her hair as she instructed, “Put your hands on either side of the mirror and bend over. If you wish to rid yourself of your feelings for this woman, if you wish to rid _her_ of her feelings for you, then she needs to watch this, and you need to _watch_ her watch this.”

Regina hesitated, another tear falling down her cheek as her eyes connected with Emma’s. Her cheeks began to color then and she looked away, shaking her head as shame crept up her spine. “Mother, I _can’t—_ ”

“You can, and you will,” Cora told her firmly, taking one of Regina’s hands in hers before guiding it to rest on one side of the mirror. There was another hesitation, but the brunette’s eyes closed as she tried to block out the reality of it, and let her second one hit the wall on the other side. Cora smiled encouragingly at her, fingers tangling in chocolate tresses. “I know this will be hard for you, but this is what will make the pain go away. And don’t worry, my love; I’ll keep her silent so her lies don’t confuse you during it. Just focus on me, and tell Mother what you want her to do to you…”

Regina exhaled a shuddered breath, the sound almost coming out as a whimper as she squeezed her eyes shut tighter, spreading her legs for the woman behind her as she accepted her fate as the only solution. “Fuck me, Mama,” she finally breathed, sounding so much like the young girl she once was; fearful, hesitant, and so terribly, terribly confused. “I want you to fuck me.”

**TBC…**


	10. The Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you guys are aware, this is the last chapter that I have completed. As such, this is now being taken off its Sunday update schedule, but I promise I’ll get to it whenever I can. I honestly meant to have chapter eleven finished by now, since this ends in a kinda cliffhangery place (sorry ahead of time), but my tendonitis in my dominant wrist flared up something terrible last week and now I can only type one handed, which is… frustrating and slow. I was all beasting out writing three fics at once and then of course everything had to come crashing down, lol. Hopefully this won’t last long, cause it’s driving me freaking mental, but I just wanted you guys to be aware that it might be a little bit until this gets updated again. Sorry :/

**CHAPTER TEN  
The Rescue**

Killian Jones had seen his share of fucked up things in his time. Being a pirate was not for the faint of heart, but there was still a code of honor amongst thieves; there was still a clear right and wrong, and lines that should never, ever be crossed. Rape, in his eyes, was one such line, and as such it was something he had never tolerated from his crew. There was nothing respectable in taking a woman against her will, and as such it had been a dreadful insult to him when the Crocodile insinuated that he had taken Milah against hers.

Perhaps Killian had been tasteless in allowing the man to assume the worst regardless, but Milah had begged him not to reveal that she had left of her own accord, not wanting her son to think that she had willingly abandoned him. Besides, Killian had wanted to give the coward the proper motivation to fight him for her hand so that he would have won Milah in an honorable way, but in the end Rumpelstiltskin had proved nothing other than the fact that he did not deserve her. So Killian let him believe that he left his own wife to a terrible fate, believing that the man deserved to have such a strenuous guilt weighing over him.

But the fact of the matter was, Milah had chosen him; and should she not have, than he never would’ve taken her otherwise. At the end of the day, Killian Jones was a man of honor, and this… this wasn’t honorable. This was bloody fucking _disturbing._

And it conflicted quite terribly within his conscience, because he had given Cora his word of loyalty. Having already tried to double-cross the woman once in favor of his own interests had left him with nothing, and as such bore a reminder as to why he should keep the deals he had made. And after Swan had dealt karma back to him, Killian had resolved to choose a side and stick with it; however, now he was having second thoughts about whether this was the right side to have chosen.

Cora had, however, gotten him to Storybrooke like she had promised, and as such he knew that should he bear through this, it was likely she would honor her word and help him kill the Dark One. He wanted justice for Milah, but the price for it seemed to be losing his sense of morality in the process. If Cora had been one of his crew, Killian would have gutted her for what she was doing to her own daughter. And now, instead, he sat across the room, listening to the sound of the Queen’s tears as Cora took what it was that she wanted from her.

Killian didn’t know what to bloody do anymore, as he was suddenly being torn between honoring the deal he had made, and honoring his own moral code.

The sounds of labored breathing filled the belly of his ship, causing Killian’s stomach to turn as he tried desperately to ignore it. In the back of his mind, he tried to justify it with the fact that the Queen had begged her mother to do this, but it had been obvious to anyone with ears that her sanity had been fractured. And with the sound of her _still_ crying throughout all of this, none of it spelled out consent. It was probably the most disturbing thing Killian had ever witnessed; listening to the Evil Queen – who was one of the fiercest women he had ever known – be reduced to nothing but a whimpering victim filled with shame and self-loathing as she begged for her own punishment, all because of mind games and carefully placed guilt from her own _mother_. There was something worse about that almost; as if Regina had been of a sane mind, Killian doubted she would have ever asked for this.

Emma was on the floor, finally finding herself unable to watch as she crumpled into a ball and cried out her helplessness. The sound of her sorrow made Killian’s heart clench in his chest, and the guilt began to eat him alive. This wasn’t right, but what else could he do now? Should he let the woman go, Cora would surely kill him in a heartbeat.

He had made his bed, and perhaps now the only thing he could do was lie in it.

The Queen whimpered in between her sniffling, and although Killian wasn’t looking, from the sound of it, he was going to assume Cora’s head was between her legs. His stomach twisting uncomfortably in his gut, Killian busied himself by inspecting the Savior’s weapon that he had confiscated before chaining her. It was like a mini musket almost, but Killian still didn’t see where or how it was able to be loaded, and so in an effort to be anywhere else but there, he began his task of just trying to figure out how the damned thing worked.

That lasted all of about three minutes.

“Hook!”

Oh, bloody effing…

“Yes, Your Majesty?” Killian answered, trying to keep the disgust out of his voice as he placed the weapon back on the table. He still didn’t turn around however, as he was ninety-eight percent positive he did not want to witness what was happening on the other side of that blasted mirror. 

“Be a dear and ensure our guest is watching, won’t you?” Cora responded, which sounded far more like an order than a suggestion, despite the lightness in her tone. A quiet sob came from the mirror then, but Cora ignored her daughter as she smiled wickedly at the blonde on the floor. “I would _hate_ for her to miss anything…”

“You sick _fuck!_ ” Emma screamed, her voice sounding raw from the force of her own tears as she stared at the woman in the mirror with utter contempt, having wasted no time opening her mouth once she knew she would be heard. “She’s your _daughter,_ she’s your fucking—!”

“ _Now,_ Captain,” Cora ordered as Emma kept screaming obscenities at the mirror, thrashing against her chains so much that if she didn’t stop soon, she was probably going to dislocate something. So as Cora focused her attention back on her daughter with a whispered, “It’s okay, my love, it’s okay; this will _help,_ I assure you…” Killian quickly crossed the room to stand behind the thrashing blonde, wrapping a firm arm over her shoulder and down across her torso to try to hold her in place.

“Stop, _stop,_ ” he tried to encourage firmly in her ear, placing his hook near the woman’s throat in an effort to just make her stop bloody _moving._ And she did, eventually, but she was still screaming at the mirror like anything she had to say would make a difference; as though it would actually _help._

“Regina, please; you’re not gonna be able to live with yourself if you do this!” Emma pleaded, but one quick glance in the mirror showed Killian that the other woman was trying to ignore her. The Queen’s eyes were firmly shut, tears staining her cheeks as her mother whispered things into her ear, one hand still lost between Regina’s thighs. “I don’t blame you for any of this, okay? I don’t! She’s fucked with your head; but you and I both _know_ that this isn’t what you really want! So please, please don’t do this; Regina, _please—!”_

But with one thoroughly annoyed gesture, Cora muted their side of the mirror once more, lips pressed to her daughter’s ear as she apologized, “I’m sorry you had to listen to that, my darling; I promise that was the last time. It’s just us now, so be a good girl for Mother and open your eyes…”

Regina shook her head violently, her breathing still coming out a little labored from her mother’s gentle touches. “Mother, I… I can’t look at her; I-I’m sorry, I just… I _can’t—_ ”

“Don’t be silly, dear; of course you can…”

As Cora continued to encourage her daughter to humiliate herself even further, Emma choked back a sob as lashes hit her cheeks, her gaze falling to the floor in front of her. “No, none of that; you have to watch,” Killian told her, trying to bring the woman’s line of sight back to what was happening. It sickened him to force this on her, but… “The woman has already warned you once, and if you don’t comply, your boy—”

“Don’t you _dare_ talk about my son,” Emma choked out, another tear falling down her cheek. She did as she was told however, and her gaze connected with her lover, who was still begging her mother to not make her open her eyes. “I hope you’re fucking proud of yourself,” she told him, voice filled with fury and hatred. “This is what your so-called _honor_ looks like; this is the kind of man you really are. You might as well have just fucking raped her yourself…”

That hit Killian hard, and in defense of something so deeply insulting to him, he furiously responded with, “The Queen asked for this, Swan! She was the one who begged her mother to—!”

“Does that look fucking _consensual_ to you?!” Emma screamed, furiously pushing backwards against his hold, despite it not doing any good; already being bound by chains, it was easy for Killian to keep his grip on her. “Regina’s still _crying!_ ”

Which was the ugly truth of it, really. Killian knew it wasn’t consensual, but he did not lay a hand on that woman himself, and would not be accused of such. Still, him not touching Regina didn’t diminish the guilt that was now threatening to crush him; whether he had raped the woman himself or not, he was still partly responsible for this. And God, now that he was forced to witness some of it himself as he held the Swan girl to him, he hated that more than anything else.

This wasn’t bloody right. He had thought he had signed up to kill a woman, not partake in the rape of another. There was honor in a fight to the death, but this? There was nothing in this that bore respect; it was the very definition of ‘bad form,’ and Killian did not wish to partake in it.

Still, he couldn’t do bloody much about it now, could he? Not with Cora watching through the mirror. Should he free her, the woman would appear in a cloud of smoke in an instant and slit _both_ of their throats. If, _if_ he was to do anything, then it could only be when Cora was distracted, which didn’t look as though it would be happening until perhaps _after_ Regina had complied with her mother’s wishes, and just looked at Swan throughout all of this misery.

It seemed to take ages, but finally Regina relented to her mother’s words of encouragement and opened her eyes. Distress washed across her features as soon as her eyes connected with Emma’s, and Killian had to look away once the woman mouthed, ‘I’m sorry,’ to her as another tear slipped down her cheek. Emma had to place a hand over her mouth to keep her own sorrow under control, but she didn’t move to look away from her lover.

“Good girl,” Cora cooed in her daughter’s ear. “Now don’t take your eyes off of her, my love, and this will all be over soon…”

Killian bloody well hoped so, because he didn’t know how much more of this he could stomach listening to.

He kept his eyes on Emma though, not wishing to see the Queen getting violated by her own mother. Within moments he could hear Regina’s breathing hitch, followed by a slight moan. It was preemptive to another sob though, which was echoed by Emma as she brought her trembling hand away from her mouth. “It’s okay,” she tried to assure her, despite the fact that Regina couldn’t hear the words. Presumably she could read Emma’s lips though, and so the blonde kept telling her over and over, “It’s okay, you’re okay, Regina; it’s okay…”

It was really heartbreaking to listen to, and it made Killian absolutely hate himself. He could handle so many things, was indifferent to a great many more, but this was… this was easily the most fucked up thing a mother could ever do to their child. When Cora had hurt Regina, it was extreme but not something out of the ordinary; where they came from, many parents disciplined their children with pain. But this was an entirely different kind of pain, and Killian’s decision to aid with this would no doubt weight heavy on his conscience for the rest of his life.

“Talk to me, my darling; tell Mother what you want,” Cora encouraged, and Killian hoped the Queen wouldn’t oblige her, as this was already sickening enough. All that came in response though was another sob that mixed with a strangled moan, as Emma continued to chant over and over that it was going to be okay, that _she_ was going to be okay. “Don’t make me ask you twice, Regina…”

“I…” Regina breathed, but Emma kept looking at her, kept _talking_ to her, and it seemed as though something snapped inside the Queen as she finally realized what the hell she was doing. Suddenly she sounded frantic, afraid; confused and ashamed. “I don’t… no, Mother, stop it; I don’t— _stop!_ ”

Suddenly there was a loud crash, and Killian looked up to see Regina pinned to the mirror, her tears smearing across the glass as she continued to scream for her mother to let her go, that she didn’t want to do this anymore. Emma began screaming too, _thrashing_ against her chains as she witnessed Cora use force against the woman she loved, and Killian had to hold onto her tighter so that she didn’t tear her bloody arm off in the process.

“Stop, _stop!_ Swan!”

“She’s _hurting_ her!” she screamed, her voice raw and tight as she struggled against both him and the chains. Regina was still shouting, pleading in the background as she cried for her mother to stop. “Please, just let me—Killian, let me go; I need to help her, _please!_ ”

“If Cora sees me free you we’ll both be dead in bloody moments!” Killian hissed in her ear, putting more pressure on his grip to keep the woman in one spot so that she could just _listen._ “This sickens me as much as it does you, but you must wait, do you hear me? You have to _wait…!_ ”

Emma stopped struggling then, a shuddered sob escaping her lips as she allowed her weight to fall back against him. “Don’t you dare promise to do something you won’t…” she breathed as another tear fell from her eyes, sounding as though she wouldn’t allow herself to believe that he truly would help her. Still, Emma’s tone sounded both hateful and hopeful as she told him in a scratchy, worn voice, “That’s worse than never saying anything at all.”

That was true, and it nearly made Killian say nothing at all in response. But now, with the Queen pleading for her mother to stop as Cora continued to violate her, he knew he could never in good conscience allow this to keep happening. And so he leaned over Emma’s shoulder to whisper in her ear, “Wait for the opportune moment, Swan, and I promise I will help you. You have my word.”

And Killian Jones, if nothing else, was a man of his word.

[x]

Regina tasted blood.

When her face had hit the mirror, the force of the impact had caused her tooth to cut the inside of her cheek, and when she screamed for Cora to stop as she was held in place by invisible bindings, tiny speckles of blood began to decorate the glass. A part of Regina wished her mother would notice, so that perhaps she would realize that she was hurting her, but another part of her knew that should she have, it was doubtful that Cora would even care. The woman’s fingers were twisting roughly inside of her now, bringing more pain than pleasure, and although Regina begged her to stop, Cora wouldn’t listen.

She had thought she wanted this; she had thought this was what she needed to do to make the pain of her own humiliation finally end, but it wasn’t _Emma_ who had brought it on her. And looking at the blonde through the mirror, feeling the guilt and shame weigh heavy on her soul while she allowed Cora to fuck her mercilessly in front of the woman she cared so deeply for, she suddenly realized that this was doing nothing but causing her own heart to shatter even further.

And God it _ached,_ to see Emma on the other side of the glass as she moaned beneath her own mother’s ministrations, look at nothing else but her face and her telling her that it was going to be okay. That _she_ was going to be okay. Because she wasn’t, and Regina doubted she ever would be again; yet even still, should this break her beyond all recognition, she didn’t want to blame herself for it. She wasn’t a child anymore, and she didn’t want this; _she didn’t want this!_

“Mother, please— _please_ stop! I’ll be good, but I don’t—I don’t want this anymore, Mama, _please!_ ”

“Don’t be obstinate!” Cora harshly reprimanded, her breasts pressing against Regina’s back as she corkscrewed her fingers inside of her. It was painful, and yet because her mother had readied her earlier by going down on her, it still held a sense of pleasure that Regina hated herself for feeling. As she bit back a whimper, Regina closed her eyes as her mother hissed in her ear, “ _I_ know what’s best for you, my love; and only I can free you from this…!”

A hand came down hard on her ass then, and Regina cried out as her eyes popped open. “Look at her!” Cora demanded, the loudness of her tone causing the woman beneath her to wince. “Look at her while I fuck you, Regina; look at her as I make you come, or the next thing you’ll be fucking is her _corpse!_ ”

Regina’s cheeks dampened with a fresh wave of tears, but she did as she was told and looked at the chained woman on the other side of the mirror. She was being held back by Hook, but the man at least had the decency to not watch as her mother tore the last shred of sanity from her mind. Emma was crying, but once their eyes connected she kept telling her, over and over like a mantra, “It’s okay, it’s okay, Regina; you’re okay…!”

Regina wished she felt okay.

It killed her, to look at Emma while this was happening. It made Regina want to rip her own skin off with how dirty it made her feel, and the feeling only intensified once her mother stopped being so rough with her. Cora wanted her to be brought to orgasm, and she must have realized that this was not the way to do so as suddenly fingers left her depths to slip over her sensitive nub instead, causing an involuntary moan of pleasure to escape Regina’s lips.

“That’s it; that’s it, my darling...” Cora breathed into her ear, her lips finding the base of her jaw, her neck, her shoulder. “Just allow yourself to feel it, and it’ll all be over soon…”

A hot wave of shame crept up her neck from responding to her mother’s ministrations like that, and Regina wished that, just for a moment, Emma would look at her with disgust; that she would really _see_ what it was that was happening, what was destroying the relationship they barely got to have, instead of being so nauseatingly _good_ that it made Regina feel about an inch tall. She needed her support then, but she didn’t want it; all it stood to do was make Regina hate herself even more when this was all over, because someone as disgustingly compliant with their own mother’s advances towards her, certainly didn’t deserve someone as pure as Emma Swan.

Regina’s labored breathing was starting to fog the mirror as her fingers curled into her palm, wishing she could just move, just _run._ But she was pinned in place by her mother’s magic, her hips beginning to twitch with each firm rub of Cora’s fingers against her center, and all Regina could do now was just stare helplessly at Emma through the glass and feebly attempt to pretend that it was _her_ doing this to her.

It was the only thing that could make it bearable.

Her lips parting in silent pleasure, Regina felt a heat beginning to form in the pit of her abdomen. A tear slipped down her cheek and she cried out, her mother having slipped her fingers in her once more as her thumb continued the assault on her clitoris, forcing her to reach a peak she didn’t want to fall over with her. And so Regina stared at Emma helplessly, with her tear-stained cheeks and words of support, and as the pleasure began to overwhelm her, Regina shut her eyes and thought of nothing but her.

“ _…Emma!_ ”

It had been a mistake. Regina knew better than to _ever,_ and yet the woman’s name escaped her lips in the form of a praise, a plea, a wish, as her muscles contracted around her mother’s fingers and the world spun from beneath her feet. But before she could get her bearings on reality, suddenly Regina had been backhanded so hard across the face that she toppled to the floor in a heap, her mother’s ring having split her bottom lip so deeply that blood stained the carpet below her.

“Everything I’ve done for you, and you scream _her_ name while I’m between your legs?!” Cora shouted, nothing but unadulterated _fury_ in her eyes as she grabbed her daughter by the throat. “I should have just allowed her to destroy you,” she seethed as Regina struggled for breath. “She’s a Charming, you idiot girl, and someone like her could never love someone like _you._ You’ve sold your soul to the darkness, murdered _hundreds,_ and so the most you could ever be good for, my darling daughter, is a quick fuck behind closed doors while no one’s the wiser.” A cruel smile crossing her face then, Cora finished with the thing she knew would hurt the most. “Because you may be a lot of things, Regina, but you are _nothing_ to be proud of.”

Regina felt something inside of her shatter at those words, and suddenly she felt small and utterly insignificant. She wanted to disappear, to simply no longer _exist_ in that moment, because her mother was right, wasn’t she? She wasn’t anything to be proud of. Even Cora, who favored violence and power, didn’t even view her as anything to respect and love. She was nothing, her entire life wasted on not being good enough for anyone or anything, and all Regina wanted to do was fucking disappear. 

Cora let her go then, and Regina coughed and struggled for breath though her tears. “Did you _truly_ think that she would publicly allow you to be on her arm?” Cora mocked, eyes boring into the younger woman’s challengingly. “Did you think that she’d bring you home to parents who _despise_ you? There’s no future with a woman like that, Regina, and there never was; she would have used you until you were no longer convenient, and then she would have tossed you aside like you were nothing but yesterday’s _trash,_ because that’s what they do,” Cora furiously snarled, her hand fisting in Regina’s hair to make her look at her as she annunciated, “ _That’s what women do!_ ” 

Cora was so angry, sounded so deeply _wounded_ in that moment that it made Regina wonder if, a long time ago, some woman had hurt her mother in such a way. She was always so furious about the women Regina looked at, more so than the unworthy men. Daniel… she had just killed Daniel, but the _women…_ that was more, that was _worse._ Whoever she was, mother must have loved her very deeply, to have become this hateful over what, Regina could only assume, was her lover’s cruel betrayal. 

But Regina would never ask; she couldn’t, because she was certain her mother would never tell her anyway. Cora would only get angry for questioning her motives, when the only motive Regina should know by now was that everything she did _was because she loved her._ Nothing more, nothing less, and more often than not, it sounded like a well-placed lie instead of the truth that Regina craved.

“I tried to save you from that pain, I tried to help you, and _this_ is how you repay me?!”

“Mother, I—I’m _sorry;_ I swear, I didn’t mean to—!” Regina tried, knowing she had to make this better before Cora decided keeping Emma alive was no longer worth the trouble, and crushed her heart to dust in front of her. Regina knew it was a feeble hope, that the blonde would manage to get out of this alive, but she had to stall her execution as long as possible just in case, otherwise she knew she would never be able to forgive herself.

“You’re _sorry?_ ” Cora repeated, laughing at her daughter’s plea. Eyes flashing black, her grip on Regina’s hair tightened as she pulled her just inches from her own face. “I should cut the woman’s heart from her chest and have you _eat_ it, should you crave the love within it that badly.” A cruel smirk etched across her face then, and Cora questioned, “Do you think we should find out if _that_ finally makes you feel whole, my love…?”

Oh _God,_ no…

“Mama, no—it was an accident, I swear to you!” Regina pleaded as the woman roughly let go of her hair, the sound of displeasure falling from her lips indicating that she found her daughter nothing but disgusting now. Still, Regina tried to implore to her as she grabbed the woman’s dress in desperation. “I was looking at her and I got confused, that’s all! I know who was touching me, who was helping me; and I swear I never meant to say her name! Please, _please_ , Mother… let me—let me show you how sorry I am…”

It was utterly shameful, and so much lower than she had already sank, but Regina knew that if she didn’t keep her mother busy that she would make good on her threat about Emma and her heart. And so Regina frantically started bunching her mother’s dress up around her hips, trying to get to a destination she should never want to reach. Yet before she could get there, suddenly Cora had fisted her hand in her hair again, pushing her back enough to look her in the eyes.

“I don’t know what kind of _game_ you think you’re playing, Regina—”

“Mama, I swear, I’m just trying to show that I’m sorry!” Regina pleaded with her, praying to any god that would listen that her mother would believe her. “I know you’re the one helping me, I know I need you, so please… _please_ just let me apologize so you can love me again, Mother; please…!”

Cora arched an eyebrow at her, staring Regina down as she tried to detect a lie. But her daughter just looked up at her with wide, hopeful eyes, searching for a love and an acceptance that she would never truly have from the woman above her. And it must have worked, must have been convincing, because suddenly Cora was shoving Regina’s face into her dampened crotch. 

“You have five minutes to make me come with only your mouth,” Cora instructed her, before a wicked smirk crossed her features at the thought of her amendment. “And should you fail, my darling, well… I can assure you, you will _not_ like what happens afterwards. Is that understood?”

Regina swallowed the sickness in the back of her throat and nodded her compliance. “Yes, Mother,” she breathed as she slipped the undergarments down her mother’s thighs, praying that, by this point, Emma would have already turned away in disgust, as Regina couldn’t bear the thought of the woman witnessing this. But it was either this or Emma’s death and, in the end, Regina’s self-worth meant so very, very little when put up against that.

Regina just had to hope that, in these few extra moments that she had allotted her, Emma would find a way to make them worth the sacrifice.

[x]

It’s hard to be someone’s rock when you feel like you’re going to shatter.

But Emma knew she had to try, because what other choice did she have? No, it was not okay, and no, Regina definitely was not going to be either, and yet Emma kept repeating the mantra as she looked in Regina’s eyes as her own mother ripped something from her that she was never meant to take. It was all she could do in that moment. 

Regina looked so helpless as it happened, so utterly lost. It tore Emma’s heart in half and churned her stomach with a sickness that was so very hard to keep at bay. And then suddenly it ended, a cry of Emma’s name spilling from the brunette’s lips in a way that sounded as though Regina were begging her to make all of this stop. And God, it killed Emma inside that she couldn’t, that she was forced to do nothing else but watch on with only the vain hope that Cora would soon turn her attention away from the mirror, from them. 

So that what, Emma could rescue her? Even if she did get out of there, it was unlikely she’d make it across town before Cora realized that Hook had betrayed her. The chances of this having a happy ending were so incredibly slim that it made Emma ill, and yet she had to have hope that it would, because she damn sure had nothing else anymore.

Emma screamed as Cora hit her daughter for her orgasm-induced exclamation, causing the woman’s lip to split open as she toppled over onto the carpet. “Do you want to tear your blooming arms off?!” Hook shouted, trying to once again force Emma to stop fighting against her chains. But she didn’t give a shit about her damn arms, she just couldn’t keep watching this; she needed to _do_ something!

“Then let me the fuck _go!_ ” Emma shouted, before her breath constricted at the sight of Cora holding Regina by her throat as she sneered lies meant to destroy her daughter’s already fractured self-esteem. Emma wanted to scream that Cora was wrong; that she wasn’t ashamed of Regina, that she would never just use and toss her away like she was nothing. But in the end it was pointless, as Cora had muted her side of the mirror long ago. And Jesus, it killed her to see the look on Regina’s face as she believed everything her mother had to say about her without question.

“And what, get our hearts ripped out the second she looks back at the mirror?” Hook countered, keeping a firm hold on the woman before him. “Not bloody likely. If I’m gonna betray the woman, I’m going to make damn certain that I’m going to get out of it unscathed; so just _wait,_ Swan. This isn’t the time.”

“And when the hell _will_ be the time, huh?!” Emma countered furiously, unable to see the gain in waiting around anymore; if anything, it was only going to cause Regina more pain. “When Cora beats her within an inch of her life, or when she’s decided that she’s had enough fun violating her, and makes Regina _return_ the fucking favor instead…?!”

Hook looked a little regrettable, but stood his ground with, “Strategically speaking, the latter _would…_ unfortunately, provide us with a much better distraction…”

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Emma breathed, starting to feel nauseous just from the thought of it. Whether Hook was right or not, she didn’t want Regina to have to deal with that. She had already been put through enough and the longer this all went on, the less likely it would be that Regina could come out of this relatively sane.

_I should cut the woman’s heart from her chest and have you_ eat _it, should you crave the love within it that badly…_

The look on Regina’s face following that was a mixture of revulsion and fear, and like when Cora threatened to have her daughter fuck Emma’s corpse earlier, it made Regina comply instantly. There was a legitimate sense of terror in her eyes, as though she knew that Cora wasn’t just spewing horrible threats; like she knew that should the woman have the chance, she would actually carry them out without hesitation. And that… Jesus, that was _sickening,_ and it made Emma’s stomach turn as she tried desperately not to think about why Regina would know her mother was speaking truth. Emma didn’t want to know if Cora had ever forced her daughter to do either of those things, because the reality of it might very well break her.

So Regina pleaded with Cora; pleaded that she was sorry and that she’d do anything to prove that, despite the fact that Emma was convinced the brunette was solely doing this just to save her life. Still, that thought didn’t make it any better once Emma realized what it was that Regina was trying to do, and she had to turn away and fight another intense wave of nausea after witnessing the woman trying to hike up her own mother’s dress.

Emma wanted to scream at Regina to stop, that she shouldn’t have to put herself through this for _her,_ but Regina wouldn’t have been able to hear her anyway. Emma knew a part of her should be glad for this, as if Cora complied then her back would be facing the mirror for a decently long period of time; enough for her to escape, possibly enough even for Emma to get to them, and yet still the blonde didn’t want to bear it. She didn’t want something like this to be brought about because of Regina’s need to save her, as Emma wasn’t the damn one that needed saving right now.

“Oh, fucking hell…” Hook breathed, his own revulsion clear in his tone as Cora told her daughter exactly how long she had to pleasure her before she would be subjected to another wave of punishment and torment. And God, Emma tried to ignore it; tried to ignore the sounds that followed and the breathy praise of ‘Good girl…’ that spilled from Cora’s lips, but all it did was make her want to tear the fucking world apart on Regina’s behalf.

And then something behind her clicked.

“Five minutes,” Hook reminded her as suddenly Emma had full use of her arms again. “Make bloody good use of them, will you? Cause this may be me being a good man, but I don’t actually plan to die for it.”

“So noted,” Emma breathed as she struggled to get to her feet, shaking out the numbness in her arms. There was a hint of surprise in her voice, as despite Hook’s earlier insistence that he would help, she hadn’t actually expected him to; at least, not this early. He was too damn cautious, and Emma doubted that a five minute window would be good enough for him. She didn’t even know if it was good enough for _her,_ because assuming they were at the docks, how the hell was she going to get across town in that short of time? It wasn’t like she had brought her car; it was probably still parked outside of Regina’s, for fuck’s sake.

Still, Emma knew she had to try. Even if it was a slim chance, this may still be her best shot; her _only_ shot. Grabbing her gun off the table, Emma quickly checked to see if it was still loaded; it was. “What about you?” she asked Hook, looking over at the man who was still warily eyeing the mirror. “She’ll kill you if she finds you.”

“Don’t worry about me, love,” Hook responded, shooting her a dazzling smile that only barely managed to hide the legitimate concern in his eyes. “I’ve survived worse.”

Emma doubted that, but she didn’t contradict him; there wasn’t time anyhow. So, shooting him one last look coupled with a small, grateful smile, she whispered, “Thank you,” before turning and running out the door to the cabin, hoping to hell that Regina was able to distract her mother long enough for her to get to the manor.

Unfortunately, her guess had been correct when she believed they were at the docks. Her breathing beginning to constrict in her chest, Emma ran off the ship as fast as her legs could carry her, only barely noticing that once she left the Jolly Roger, the entire thing immediately disappeared from sight. Feet hitting the pavement heavily, Emma began running towards the direction of Regina’s manor, knowing in the back of her mind that reaching there in time was probably a feeble hope, as it would take at least twenty minutes to get there on foot. But what else could she do? Short of hotwiring someone’s car, which she would still need tools to do _and_ more time than she had, there really wasn’t any other choice than to just keep going.

But the longer she ran, the more Emma began to panic that Cora had already noted her absence and had taken Regina somewhere else, or worse; that she had killed her own daughter in a blinding rage. And God, that thought made Emma have to choke back tears as she tried to push herself to run faster, not wanting all of this to be for nothing. A half hour ago, just the thought of ever getting off of that ship alive was a slim hope; now Emma was free, and fuck… it had to count for something. _This_ had to count for something. She was the goddamn Savior, wasn’t she? And what the hell kind of Savior would she be if she couldn’t even save the woman that she… that she…

Choking back a sob, Emma ignored the burning sensation in her legs as she pushed them past their capacity. She couldn’t let Regina die, and if left with her mother then she would; because even if Cora didn’t do it herself, if Regina continued to be subjected to this kind of shit over and over, it was likely that after awhile she would try to find solace in suicide and, God, Emma _couldn’t—_

One minute left, and Emma wasn’t even halfway across town yet.

No, _no!_ There had to be a way, there had to be a way that this ended well because evil couldn’t win, could it? This was a goddamn town filled with fairytale characters, and the entire _point_ of fairytales was the good always won. Even if they were all trapped in the real world now, that was how their dynamic _worked,_ damnit! Emma had to save her, she had to protect her, because that was what she was _meant_ to do; there just couldn’t be another option, because Emma refused to believe that this story was going to have a terrible ending.

She cared about Regina too goddamn much for it to end like this.

Panic started to overtake her as the seconds ticked down to nothing, and the only thing Emma could think about was saving Regina, protecting her from her mother and all the terrible things that woman had brought her, and Emma began to repeat the mantra of, “For Regina,” in her head over and over like a goddamn prayer as she pushed herself to run faster… faster…

And then suddenly it felt like her insides were tearing in half.

The world was ripped from beneath her feet, everything spinning around her until suddenly Emma landed with a crash against marble flooring. Biting back the feeling of pain from both the journey and the landing, Emma’s chest began to constrict as she realized where the hell she had just landed; Regina’s foyer.

What the _hell…?_

Fuck it, it didn’t matter how the hell she had gotten there, just that she had. In seconds Emma was on her feet and taking the stairs two at a time, her hand grasping for the gun in its holster as she barreled her way towards Regina’s bedroom. The door opened with a crash from Emma furiously kicking it in, and her gun was pointed out in front of her as her gaze landed on the faces of two surprised women.

Regina was lying on the ground completely nude, having been furiously shoved off of her mother as Cora turned around to face the disturbance. “ _How in hell did you get past my barrier…?!_ ” she shrieked, shocked and furious from the unexpected interruption. But Emma didn’t know how she did, nor did she give half a shit either. The blood was pumping in her ears, and all she could see was Cora; all she could _feel_ was the pain the woman had caused the both of them. Emma watched her conjure a fireball in her hand then, with the intent of destroying the one thing the blonde _knew_ that, after coming this far, she had to see through to the very end.

And so Emma didn’t even think.

“Fuck you.”

The sound of the gunshot was deafening, and suddenly everything seemed like slow motion as Cora fell back, clutching at her stomach as blood seeped through her fingers. She looked shocked at what Emma’s weapon had done to her; apparently not having expected that something lacking in magic could affect her in such a way. But just as Emma raised her gun again, intending to make the second bullet go straight through the woman’s brain, Cora looked at Regina, who was staring on wide-eyed with a hand pressed firmly over her mouth, and told her with a twisted smile, “This isn’t over, my love; Mommy will find you again very soon,” before disappearing suddenly in a cloud of purple smoke.

“ _Fuck!_ ” Emma screamed furiously, slamming her hand against the doorframe. While Cora’s wound was fatal, the woman had magic, and would no doubt be able to heal herself once she got somewhere safe; which meant _they_ didn’t have a lot of time to get somewhere safe themselves.

The problem was though, Emma didn’t have the first fucking clue of where that would be.

**TBC…**


	11. The Escape

**CHAPTER ELEVEN  
The Escape**

“Regina! Regina, _get up!_ ”

The woman was completely nonresponsive; she just continued to sit there, crumpled in a ball with a hand pressed firmly against her lips as she stared at Emma as though she wasn’t sure if she was even real. Tears were streaming down her cheeks in lines and her hand over her mouth was trembling, and Jesus, Emma wished she could be sympathetic to how Regina must be feeling right now, but they just didn’t have _time._

“Regina? Hey, come on,” Emma tried as she knelt down in front of her, pressing her palm to the woman’s cheek as she wiped away a stray tear with her thumb. “I’ve got you now, okay? You’re safe; it’s going to be okay, I promise…!”

Regina nearly choked on the force of a fresh wave of tears and she shook her head violently in response as she pushed Emma away from her. “No, _no,_ ” she denied. “She’ll come back, she’ll come for me; she _always_ comes for me. You have to go, Emma—take Henry and just _leave,_ because my mother will keep—”

“I’m not leaving you!” Emma practically shouted, furious that Regina would even contemplate that as an option after what that cunt of a woman did to her. The _last_ thing she was going to do was leave Regina behind to be subjected to something like that again. 

But Regina wouldn’t accept that as an answer, and as Emma tried to throw a robe around her in order to get her dressed enough to leave the house as quickly as possible, Regina pushed the thing off of her and then shoved Emma backwards. “Do as I say!” she demanded, trying to sound intimidating enough to elicit the preferred response, and yet she was still crying and trembling and looking as though she were falling completely _apart_ that it ended up coming off as nothing more than frantic. “I’m not putting anyone else in danger, I _won’t—_ ”

“For fuck’s sake, Regina, don’t make me knock you out so I can drag your stubborn ass out of here!” Emma shouted as she threw the robe back at the woman on the floor. “You’re not sacrificing yourself for me or for Henry or for _anybody_ right now, okay? Now get dressed; we don’t have a lot of time!”

This time at least, Regina did struggle to cover herself as she pulled the robe tightly around her shoulders. But she wouldn’t budge on practically being a lamb for the slaughter as she shrieked, almost sounding half-mad, “Are you completely _inept?!_ I’m not the one worth saving right now, you relentless imbecile, so for once in your life do something intelligent and just take our son—!”

Jesus, they didn’t have time for this.

Knowing that she was going to hate herself for doing this almost immediately afterwards, yet also aware that she didn’t have much of a choice anymore, Emma took aim and collided her fist with Regina’s temple, making careful effort to knock her unconscious in one blow. The brunette slumped against the side of the bed and Emma winced, breathing a regretful apology as she quickly gathered the woman up in her arms. As terrible as she felt about doing that, she was getting Regina out of here one way or another.

The adrenaline was still pumping in her veins as she stumbled to make it out of Regina’s bedroom, only to suddenly realize that she had absolutely no idea where she was going. Should she get to Henry first, or should she get a message to her parents to hide him while Regina and she took off in a different direction? Would he be safer with them or without them? Cora almost certainly valued having Regina above all else, but would she think to try to lure them out by kidnapping their son, or just decide to go after them directly?

Indecision was starting to elicit panic, as she needed to get somewhere, _anywhere_ safe. Cora could have already healed herself and suddenly pop up at any moment, and Emma couldn’t have this all be for nothing. Holding tighter to Regina’s form, the blonde’s lungs constricted as she quickly made her way to the stairwell. She just had to get out of here; it didn’t matter where, she just needed to get Regina somewhere safe, she needed to protect her, because this was all—it was all her fault, and God, _please,_ just make this worth it, just make her able to do this. She had to save her, she had to—

The desperation to protect Regina once more seemed to fiercely pull something within her, and a small shriek left Emma’s mouth as suddenly the world was ripped beneath her feet once more. She landed with a crash directly on top of the other woman’s unconscious form, and confusion made way for relief once she heard her mother’s voice exclaim, “Emma…?!”

Oh, thank god.

“Henry… where’s Henry?!” Emma questioned, not caring how on earth she managed to transport herself like that again, as that paled in comparison to knowing whether or not her son was safe. Her parents were rushing over to her, concern and relief coloring their expressions as they took in the sight of their daughter.

“Oh my god, we were so worried when you didn’t come home last night—!”

“Henry, _where is he?!_ ” Emma practically shrieked, needing them to realize that this was a serious concern. Explanations could wait.

“He’s upstairs—” David tried, but that was all Emma needed to know as she interrupted him.

“Stay with him,” Emma ordered her father. “Make sure he doesn’t come down here right now – he can’t see Regina like this. Mary Margaret, get her some clothes from my room, I need to…” But she didn’t finish her sentence as she lifted Regina’s unconscious form in her arms, just needing to take care of her right now.

“Emma, what’s going on?!” Mary Margaret asked, looking frantic herself at what was quite literally dumped in the middle of her living room.

“Just do as I ask, _please!_ ” Emma pleaded as she brought Regina over to her parents’ bed. “I’ll explain in a minute, but right now—”

“Mom…?” Henry’s voice came from the top of the stairs, and once Emma had placed Regina on the bed she had to rush to cover the woman’s breast that had been exposed from the robe falling open as she pleaded anxiously,

“ _David!_ ”

David didn’t hesitate to take the stairs two at a time to divert Henry’s path, and Mary Margaret took one last look at her daughter’s distressed face as she pushed the hair back from Regina’s eyes before following up behind her husband to get the brunette some clothes.

Emma felt tears welling up her eyes again as she looked down at the unconscious woman on the bed, feeling so completely helpless and guilty that it seemed the feeling might very well eat her alive. Regina didn’t deserve this; she didn’t deserve any of this. “I’m so sorry,” she breathed, the words tainted with distress as she leaned down to place a soft kiss on the woman’s forehead. “I’m so, _so_ sorry…”

As she sniffed and a tear finally rolled down her cheek, Mary Margaret came back downstairs with the clothes. Emma turned to face her, watching her mother’s face practically crumple as she bore witness to her daughter’s upset, but the blonde only held out her hand for the garments as she told her, “I’ll dress her.”

After pulling the curtain closed to give Regina some privacy while she clothed her, Mary Margaret was unable to keep the questions inside of her any longer. “Emma, what on earth is going on?! When you didn’t come back for Henry last night we went to Regina’s, but there was some… some kind of _barrier_ around the house and we couldn’t get through. We thought—!”

“Cora,” Emma interrupted, the name practically coming out choked as her throat constricted tightly. 

Emma didn’t have to see her mother’s face to know that it must have paled at that information. “Oh God…” she breathed in horror as Emma struggled to get Regina’s limp body into an oversized t-shirt. “Emma, _what happened?_ ”

“She… she kept Regina prisoner in her own house; had me chained in Hook’s ship with an enchanted mirror so I could see what she was doing to her,” Emma tried to explain, but the weight of her emotions was making her voice crack and tremble while she pulled a pair of jeans over Regina’s thighs. “But please just—that’s all I can tell you, that’s all I can ever tell you, cause Regina…” 

A choked sob ripped out of her throat then as the memories came flooding back, and Emma practically crumpled herself on top of the other woman, hating that she had absolutely no way to make this better. Even if she killed Cora, what Regina was forced to do in front of her would stay with her for a long time, and Emma didn’t know if the brunette would be able to mentally handle it. She had been so thoroughly humiliated and broken, and it was doubtful that she’d even be able to look at _herself_ in the mirror, let alone look at Emma anymore.

The scraping sounds of metal rungs against a steel bar came from behind her then, Mary Margaret having immediately pulled back the curtain at the sound of her daughter’s cries. Thankfully Regina was already dressed, as Emma didn’t think she could move even if she had to to cover her. She felt like she was falling completely apart; her body crumbling while her mind screamed for her to get up, to deal with this, because she didn’t have time to feel distraught. No amount of mental yelling however was making a bit of difference, as her body demanded a moment to feel this whether she liked it or not. 

Mary Margaret wrapped her arms around the crumpled form of her daughter, her own eyes welling with tears as she tried to give Emma comfort for something she could never understand. “I was supposed to protect her, Mom—I was supposed to keep her safe and I _couldn’t._ And now…”

The words were garbled and barely distinguishable through her tears, but Mary Margaret understood them nonetheless as she hushed her. “No, Emma, don’t blame yourself. Whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault.”

Yes, it was. She hadn’t believed Regina when she said her mother was back, and then the woman got tortured and _raped_ because they were starting to begin a romance. Everything about this spelled her fault.

But God, she couldn’t— “I can’t do this right now, I can’t,” Emma choked out, righting herself and shaking Mary Margret off of her as she forced herself to suppress her emotions. They didn’t have time for her to break down. Her fingers trembled as she tried to undo the magical torture cuffs that were around Regina’s wrists, but they wouldn’t budge. Helplessness gave way to fury as her frustration boiled over, and she shouted, “Fuck, why won’t they come off?!”

Her fist hit the bed and then she stood, turned on her heel and punched the wall as hard as she could. Her skin cracked and bled as Mary Margaret exclaimed, “Emma!” as the blonde hit it a second time before slumping entirely against it, trying to breathe and calm herself down.

And then, at the worst possible moment, Regina chose the moment to come to.

“Emma…?” she groaned, sounding groggy and confused as she tried to open her eyes. 

Emma immediately whipped around and fell to her knees beside the bed, her hand grasping for the brunette’s as she told her breathlessly, “I’m here; I’m here, Regina, you’re safe…!”

It took a moment of Regina staring at her, perplexed and disoriented, until everything that happened seemed to hit her like a freight train and she nearly jumped out of her own skin. Her hands shook violently as she ripped it from Emma’s grip, forcing herself to sit up in a panic as she demanded, “What the hell have you done?!”

“I wasn’t going to leave you—!”

“You… you _idiot,_ ” Regina choked out, distress and anger coloring her features as her eyes began to water. “She wants me; _me!_ –Oh God, where’s Henry? _Where’s my son?!_ ” She tried to scurry out of the bed then, frantic in her haste to see if their son was safe, but Emma clasped her hand around her wrist to stop her.

“He’s upstairs with David, he’s _fine_ , but you shouldn’t—just sit down for a minute, I hit you pretty hard and you might—”

“ _You_ hit her?” Mary Margaret interrupted, looking both shocked and perplexed by that notion. No doubt she thought Regina had been unconscious due to something Cora had done.

“Well she wouldn’t let me rescue her!” Emma shouted in her own defense, not particularly proud of that moment in her life but needing to rationalize it, as it was either hit Regina or allow her to sacrifice herself so that she and Henry could get away. And Emma wouldn’t—she _couldn’t_ leave Regina to do that; not after everything she had seen Cora do to her already.

Mary Margaret’s voice seem to be the only thing that alerted Regina to the woman’s presence, and her entire body froze as she stared at the offending intruder. She looked almost terrified; _sickened_ and ashamed, and Emma realized right away what she must have thought, so she squeezed Regina’s wrist reassuringly and hastily told her, “I didn’t—she doesn’t know, okay? She doesn’t know, and no one ever will; I swear on my life, Regina, just please—”

“Emma, what on _earth_ happened over there…?!” Mary Margaret asked, despite the very clear message her daughter had just stated that she wasn’t going to reveal that to anyone. But she was obviously concerned by not only Emma’s behavior, but Regina’s as well, and thus probably felt like the only way she could do something to help would be to know the details. But Emma she just—she couldn’t.

“It doesn’t matter!” she exclaimed, snapping her head towards her mother with a fierce warning in her eyes. “What matters right now is finding a safe place for all of us, because Cora could have already healed herself and be on her way here right now, so we have to—!”

“…She isn’t.”

“What?” Emma asked, whipping around to face Regina now with a perplexed expression. How the hell could she possibly know that?

“Heal herself from _what?_ ” Mary Margaret interrupted, clearly anxious about still being left in the dark with all of this. “Emma, if Cora’s still a threat that should have been the first thing you said when you—!”

“Well I’m sorry if I’m a little _fucking_ disoriented right now, alright?” Emma snapped, irrationally furious over being scolded when perhaps her mother was right – maybe she should have said that first. But she needed to see to Regina, and make sure Henry was okay, and then everything… everything got a little crazy and the last thing she wanted to do was tell the horrifying story about her day; she had more important things to do first. “I spent the entire morning watching the woman I—watching the most _horrible_ shit I’ve ever seen in my life go down,” Emma quickly caught herself, the words becoming choked in the back of her throat with anger and sadness, “before shooting the bitch who was responsible for it all in the stomach; so _excuse_ me if I’m not thinking very clearly at the moment, okay? It’s been a really _fucked up_ day.”

Completely ignoring the shocked look on her mother’s face that had, unfortunately, appeared right after her near slip-up, Emma shook her head and turned back to what was actually important in that moment; Regina. “Now what the hell are you talking about; how do you know she’s not coming? Did I—do you think my shot killed her?”

The woman just stared at her for a moment before her eyes landed on the wrist Emma was still clasping, and after quickly pulling herself away and running a trembling hand through her hair, Regina’s brain seemed to catch up to the moment again and she explained in a hoarse voice. “I… I’m unsure. I just know that my mother… she doesn’t know how to heal.”

“What are you talking about? Regina, I _saw_ her heal you after she—” But Emma stopped then, not wanting to give specifics in front of her mother.

“It wasn’t her magic,” Regina tried to explain, sounding so terribly impatient and upset that Emma just wished she could take her all away from this _now,_ but they needed answers first. They needed to know if they were safe – at least for the time being. “It was mine.”

“What? _How?_ ”

“I don’t… I don’t know,” Regina admitted, her trembling fingers wrapping around the cuffs on her wrists. “Perhaps these were—I just… I _know_ what my mother’s magic feels like, just as well as I know my own, and she used mine to do it; I’m sure of it.”

“So she stole your magic?” Emma asked, trying to piece this together. “Or like… transferred it somehow? Because even if she did, that still means that she can heal herself, Regina, so—”

“No, it’s—it’s still inside of me,” Regina struggled to explain, but seemed frustrated that she had to in the first place. She looked completely exhausted, and the last thing she probably wanted to do right now was function, but there was still a part of her that understood why she couldn’t just retreat into herself right now, and so she continued, “I can feel it, it’s just… trapped. Whatever she did, it was only temporary; perhaps the cuffs were only able to grant her the ability by close proximity, or she learned how to syphon some of it from me by touch. Either way though, it doesn’t matter, as she can’t use it now.”

“So she’ll bleed out?” Emma asked hopefully, but even as she asked that, she knew it wouldn’t be that easy. Nothing ever was.

“I doubt it. Healing may be light magic and beyond my mother’s current abilities, but there are darker spells that will enable her to at least prolong her death; at least until she can finally learn how, or find me or some other person in this town able to heal to do it for her.”

“Blue,” Mary Margaret realized with wide-eyes.

“And maybe even Gold, if he’s able to do light-side things,” Emma added, looking up at her mother. “Literally _anyone_ in this town with magic could be her target, which thankfully isn’t a lot but still, we need to—”

“I’ll warn them,” Mary Margaret interrupted as she took her cell phone out of her pocket, not wasting any time as she walked away and started frantically dialing numbers.

“How long do you think we have?” Emma asked as she turned back to Regina, who just looked at her and shrugged rather helplessly.

“I don’t… I really don’t know. A day perhaps, at most. The spell she’ll use won’t last much longer than that.”

Fuck. If Regina knew that, it meant Cora did too, which practically guaranteed that the witch wouldn’t doddle. Running her fingers through her hair, Emma got to her feet and tried to think quickly. “Okay, we need—we need a place to hide until we can… but I don’t—this town is so fucking small, Jesus…”

But Regina just shook her head at that, still stuck on being absolutely moronic when it came to her own sense of safety. “I told you that you need to take Henry and leave town, Emma, there’s no other option! I _can’t—_ ”

“That’s not happening!” Emma practically shouted, her stomach twisting into knots at even the mere notion of leaving the woman behind to deal with her mother herself. “I’m not leaving you, Regina, I _won’t._ You can’t even defend yourself while those stupid cuffs are on, so what the hell do you think you’re going to do? Just _placate_ her sick needs until she gets bored of breaking you and turns her efforts on taking over the town instead? You know as well as I do that she won’t be happy with just having you. People like that… they want everything, and eventually everyone in Storybrooke will suffer for it.”

Regina’s glassy eyes hardened as she looked up at Emma and said with purpose, “At least Henry won’t.”

And alright, Emma understood to a point where Regina was coming from, but that still didn’t—it didn’t make it okay. That didn’t make it the right thing to do. “Regina, please,” Emma pleaded softly, her voice breaking in her throat as she collapsed on her knees next to her on the bed. She reached for her as she continued, emotion choking her words as she tried desperately for the woman to see reason, “Please don’t make me leave you behind. I couldn’t live with myself if—if she…” 

Her eyes misted over as she squeezed Regina’s hand in hers, the gesture looking like it both frightened Regina and comforted her at the same time. The woman’s fingers shook. “No matter what you might think, you _don’t_ deserve this. And I… it fucking _destroys_ me inside to see you suffer so much. So please just… just let me protect you; let me protect our son, our _family._ ” Looking her in the eyes as a tear slid down her cheek, Emma pleaded desperately, “Please, Regina, I’m begging you… I couldn’t save you from it once, but I can—I _will_ now. I swear to you. Just please let me. Please, _please…_ ”

The guilt and sorrow she was feeling seemed to cripple her and Emma practically pitched forward into a bow as she continued to beg Regina to let her make things right. It was as though something inside of her broke and she was stuck on repeat, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care if she looked fucking ridiculous or pathetic or whatever else, because she needed to save Regina from this. She needed to protect her. She _had_ to, otherwise she didn’t think she’d be able to live with herself. It was she who had practically condemned her to this, after all. She should have just listened…

“Emma, stop— _stop!_ ” Regina exclaimed as she pulled her hand away from the other woman, her words being broken by her own tears of frustration and helplessness now. “Stop _caring,_ stop—”

“I can’t just _stop caring_ about you, Regina, it doesn’t work like that!”

“Then you’re mentally _damaged!_ ” Regina shrieked, looking near mad as she got immersed in her own sense of self-loathing. “After everything you’ve seen, if you still feel for me then there’s something _very_ wrong with you, so the very last thing I’m going to do right now is be moronic and put my life in the hands of a complete _nut job—!_ ”

“Yet you’d put our son’s in mine instead?” Emma challenged, knowing Regina was just making up any bullshit excuse that she could at this point. The woman’s mouth closed in an instant. “Regina, I don’t _care._ Think I’m insane for how I feel about you, it doesn’t fucking matter right now—what _matters_ is getting all of us somewhere safe, so just please let me do this. _Please!_ ”

Regina just stared at her for a long moment, her mouth parted just slightly as tears ran down her cheeks in lines. Her hand trembled as she wiped them away before shaking her head and looking away, finally telling her softly, “The crypt.”

“What?”

“The… _my_ crypt,” Regina explained. “In the graveyard, the one I have for my father. It’s—there’s quite a lot of things beneath there, including a magically protected hideout I created should I ever have needed somewhere to go.”

Emma blinked at that information. “…Seriously?” That couldn’t have been more perfect even if she had prayed for it; that would at least hide them from Cora long enough to figure out a plan of action.

Regina nodded, fingers twisting together anxiously. “Despite my efforts to make it not come to pass, I was aware that the curse was always meant to break. I knew that should that happen my life would be in danger, and so I created… a safe space. It should be impenetrable, given that no one freely opens the door to my mother.”

“Okay,” Emma breathed, nodding erratically as a plan started to fall into place. “Okay. Just lemme—I’ll pack up a few things for me and Henry, maybe make David stop by the manor to get your—”

“I have everything I need there,” Regina told her, wrapping her arms around her torso as she tried to hold herself together for just a little longer. And God, it was hard to watch her; Emma could see the look on her face, could see how much pain she was in and how much she needed to break down because of it. But Regina was strong, maybe even stronger than her as she tried to keep herself focused for as long as she was humanly able. “Just… hurry.”

Emma nodded again, but before she turned to go she gently clasped the back of Regina’s head and brought her lips to her forehead. The gesture made a soft sob release from the back of the brunette’s throat as Emma breathed against her skin, “I’ll keep you both safe. I promise.”

And then she released her, watching Regina bring her hand up to cover her mouth before she headed back out into the living room and up the stairs. And as she took the steps two at a time, Emma could do nothing else but pray that they would all get through this, because she couldn’t bear to lose either of the two most important people in her life. She’d surely die herself.

[x]

Regina felt numb.

The prospect of safety allowed everything that had happened that day to finally sink in, and yet all it left her with was a hollow sense of absolute nothingness. She had thought that she would’ve been upset, furious, disgusted, or even humiliated, but all Regina felt was… nothing. It was like she didn’t even exist anymore. 

After David had directed Henry to the small television set in the room beneath her crypt, at least in some vain attempt to distract him from the dangers that currently surrounded him and his family, Regina had mumbled something about showering before barricading herself in the tiny bathroom. She closed her eyes as she leaned against the door, trying to will herself to feel, because despite how terrible it would surely be, it still had to be better than feeling completely insignificant. 

Nothing changed.

Regina raked her nails against her skin, so hard that it drew a small amount of blood, and yet still… she couldn’t even feel it. It was completely disorienting, to see the damage she had caused herself and yet be completely unable to experience the pain of it. It was as though she was playing one of Henry’s first-person perspective video games; she could see everything, she knew things were happening around her, and yet they didn’t affect her in the slightest. Everything was hollow; empty, meaningless.

It made her want to cry, and yet she couldn’t even bring her body to do that.

“You’re in love with her… aren’t you?”

The words were muffled, barely even distinguishable from the other side of the door, and yet Regina heard them loud and clear. She completely froze, her breath catching in her throat, as she heard Emma practically choke on her response over her mother’s soft question. “W-What—what are you…? I mean, why would you think—?”

“I know love when I see it, Emma,” Snow replied, almost sounding _understanding_ about it, which was the most absurd part of it all. Finally, Regina’s heart rate sped up and her breathing shallowed; she was panicking – absolutely and completely – but in that moment, that didn’t even matter because she was actually _feeling._ And that was… that was good. _Terrible,_ but good. “And besides, neither of you were very discreet about your conversation earlier. Why— why didn’t you ever tell me…?”

“I… it’s just—we’ve only been on _one_ date, Mary Margaret; it’s not like… I mean, there’s nothing to…” But Emma, clearly panicking herself over her mother’s line of questioning, just sighed in aggravation over her own inability to express her feelings. “God, it doesn’t even matter. Regina’s never gonna want to be with me again, not after everything that’s happened. So just… don’t bother giving me the lecture, okay? It doesn’t matter; it’s all gone to shit.”

_That_ made Regina’s heart clench in her chest and tears to well up in her eyes, because Emma was right; it had gone to shit. They could have... they could have _been_ something, perhaps even something really wonderful, and yet after everything that had happened, how could Regina ever look her in the eyes again? Emma had been forced to _watch_ as Cora violated and possessed her in every way imaginable, and that wasn’t something that could just be easily forgotten. Regina would forever feel humiliated and disgraced in the presence of the woman who had borne witness to her lowest moment, and she hated her mother for taking that from her. She hated _herself_ for allowing that be taken from her at all, and a part of her even irrationally hated Emma for not saving her from it sooner.

Pushing herself away from the door and out of earshot of the conversation, Regina turned the hot water in the shower on full blast. She suddenly felt dirty, disgusting and pathetic, and the only thought in her mind now was to get rid of it. Somehow, _someway_ she needed to be clean again; whole again. Please, please…

It was a stupid, thoughtless decision.

After shedding all her clothes and stepping beneath the shower’s spray, Regina remembered quite suddenly what it was to feel when it practically burned her skin raw. A scream left her lips almost immediately, though whether it was because of the pain or from her surprise that it had hurt at all, she wasn’t sure. In the end though, it hardly mattered. Although she was resolved not to move from it, as perhaps she deserved to feel this, the door to the bathroom was slammed open in an instant, the wood of the door colliding loudly with the wall, just before the curtain was being wrenched back and someone was pulling her from the shower and placing her trembling body on the floor in a heap.

“ _What the hell do you think you’re doing?!_ ” Emma demanded, sounding both furious and scared as the bathroom continued to fill with steam. Her eyes roamed Regina’s naked form, assessing the damage she had done as she breathed, “Oh my fucking god…”

The hot water was turned off by another however, being replaced by a stream of the opposite temperate as Snow practically shouted, “You need to get her under the cold water, Emma…!”

“I _know!_ ” Emma shrieked, holding tight to the brunette’s form as though she didn’t just have to protect Regina from herself, but from Snow as well. Anything, everything. “Just—distract Henry, alright? I can take care of her— _Just lemme take care of her!_ ”

Regina’s skin felt like it was on fire. She could barely breathe, and at first she had believed it was because of the pain, but within moments she realized she was crying. Sobbing, really, practically _hysterically_ if she was being honest, and yet it was like she was so disconnected from her body that it didn’t even feel real. Everything felt like a dream, or perhaps more accurately a nightmare, and Regina just wanted to wake up. Please, please, just let her wake up…

Her body was forcefully moved just as the bathroom door closed behind Snow, and Regina hissed in pain as cold water hit her trembling form. Emma was getting her clothes soaked as she held her under the stream, her blonde hair sticking to her cheeks as tears ran down her them in lines. “What the f—what the _fuck_ do you think you’re doing, Regina, god _damnit…!_ ” Choking back a sob, she pushed the brunette’s hair back from her forehead and told her, “Jesus, this isn’t the way to—this doesn’t make it _better,_ Regina; fuck!”

No, it didn’t. And what was worse was that she knew that already. This wasn’t the first time that her mother had utterly destroyed her, and each and every time Regina had tried to sear away the memory of the woman’s touch by any means possible. Nothing worked, as nothing probably ever would, and yet Regina kept trying. She didn’t know what else to do, what else even made sense; she just knew she needed to stop feeling dirty. It felt as though her mother’s poison had crept into her very soul, and now Regina wanted nothing more in that moment than to have the ability to violently claw it all out of her. Its presence made her feel sick.

“I’m—I’m sorry,” Regina struggled to get out, the rational part of her knowing that she should have never done this, as this was the very last thing either of them needed right now. And yet still, there was the presence of a voice inside of her that screamed so loudly to be whole again that Regina had trouble ignoring it. “I just—I needed… to be clean, I feel so…”

“Scalding yourself raw won’t make you _clean_ , Regina!” Emma shouted, upset written all over her face as she continued surveying the damage. It made Regina’s cheeks flush as she suddenly realize how very _naked_ she was, about how every time Emma had ever seen her that way it had been under terrible circumstances, and so she frantically began covering herself with her hands in an effort to maintain the last shred of dignity she had left.

“Regina, no, it’s—it’s okay,” Emma tried, clearly not wanting Regina to feel worse about anything, but also afraid to leave her to her own devises after what she had just done. Assuming the next thing Regina was going to do was demand that she leave, Emma tried to postpone it by telling her, “It’s just skin, okay? It’s nothing, it’s—here, look.” In one swift motion, Emma had sat up and rid herself of her wet t-shirt and bra, throwing it on the floor before stepping out of the rest of her garments. “See? It’s—it’s natural and it’s fine, okay? No big deal.”

To _her_ perhaps, but Regina had just realized very suddenly that she had never, not once in her life, seen another naked woman outside of her own mother. And she understood, to a point, what Emma was trying to do; she didn’t want Regina to feel as exposed, as vulnerable as she had been over the course of the last twenty four hours, and so she leveled the playing field as much as she could. It wasn’t near enough – as Emma had seen far more of her than just her body – but it was a start. Or at least it would have been, if it didn’t seem to distress Regina to the point of tears.

“Shit, okay—sorry, bad idea; I’ll put them back on,” Emma backtracked as she grabbed for her soaked shirt that lay on the ground just outside of the shower. But she stopped mid-motion when Regina spoke, her voice choked with physical pain and crippling emotion.

“It should have been… different.”

Emma’s brow furrowed with confusion, trying to figure out if Regina meant something specific or just the whole of the day in general, but when the brunette found enough strength in order to move and reach out, her fingertips briefly brushed across the skin of Emma’s abdomen, and suddenly the other woman seemed to understand.

“…Oh.”

The first time they had seen each other naked; just another thing her mother robbed her of. There had been so many in her lifetime that Regina had lost count.

“No, it’s—this doesn’t matter, Regina,” Emma tried softly, attempting to make it better even though Regina already felt as though that moment was lost to her. “Because the first time, it would’ve been… there’s just—there’s different emotions involved, you know? That’s what makes anything special in life; not what happened, but how you feel about it. So this? It’s really nothing but skin. People are naked so many times in their life, but you never really think about it unless it’s supposed to mean something. This doesn’t; this is just me taking care of you right now, okay? That’s all.”

If Emma really thought that didn’t mean anything to her, then she was as stupid as she was blonde. Still, Regina understood what she meant. It didn’t erase how terribly robbed she felt of everything that was supposed to matter in her life, but it did make her hate herself less for ever having allowed it to happen, as at least one of them didn’t feel cheated out of an experience they wanted to have. Regina just wished she could separate and categorize things as Emma did, as perhaps it would make her feel a bit better.

“Do you want me to put them back on…?”

“Don’t be utterly moronic; they’re soaked,” Regina scoffed, trying desperately to sound and feel like herself again as she forced herself to roll her eyes. Emma gave her a soft smile as Regina crossed her arms over her chest, but the blonde’s expression became concerned once more when Regina hissed in pain at the contact of it.

“Okay, look, I—I think I can fix it, but I… might need you to teach me how,” Emma tried, holding out her hands to touch Regina before thinking better of it and halting mid-motion, looking a little anxiety-ridden at whatever the hell she was referring to.

“Do I _look_ like I’m in the right frame of mind to teach you basic first aid, Miss Swan?” Regina snapped, allowing herself to feel angry over her own pain rather than saddened by how it came about. But Emma just allowed the bitchy tone to roll right past her as she shook her head.

“No, I mean… magic.”

Regina looked at her like she had four heads. “What?”

“That’s… I think that’s how I got to your house so fast,” Emma tried to explain, tightly twisting her hands together as she fidgeted. “And how I got you to my parents. I just… was panicking and suddenly—I don’t know, I was just where I needed to be.”

Regina sucked in a hard breath at that information. “You have magic…?” Despite making complete sense due to Emma’s role of the Savior, it still seemed like such a radical concept because Emma had never shown any indication of it before. And what was worse was that, should it be true, that only made Emma a bigger target for her mother, as Cora would view her as a very real threat, and not just because of Regina’s emotional attachment to her.

But Emma just pursed her lips into a thin line and nodded. “I… I think so.”

Regina closed her eyes and leaned against the side of the shower, allowing the coolness of the water to cascade over her and sooth her burns so she could just _think_ for a moment. She didn’t know if she should help further Emma’s abilities if she had them due to her mother, but in the end, wasn’t she going to be a threat to Cora regardless? And besides, while the water was helping her now, Regina knew that the moment she stepped from the shower she would be in intense pain again, and it wasn’t as though she had a first aid kit here to assist with the aftercare.

God, she hoped she wasn’t going to regret this.

Opening her eyes, Regina took a deep breath and looked at the woman across from her in the shower. “There are three places one can draw magic from,” she began softly, before reaching out and gently touching Emma’s forehead. “Here,” her hand dropped then, covering the top of Emma’s left breast, “Here,” and then finally further south, to the pit of her abdomen, “and here.”

Emma seemed to suck in a sharp breath at Regina’s gentle touches against her bare skin, but she focused on what Regina was saying and nodded. The brunette’s hand shook as she placed it a little firmer against Emma’s abdomen. “Dark magic comes from here; as it’s where you feel anger. Light magic…” she continued softly, placing her hand back over Emma’s breast, “is here; where you feel love. And neutral…” Her fingers brushed Emma’s forehead once more before allowing her hand to drop back to her side.

“And healing is light magic,” Emma responded softly, which made Regina nod in agreement. 

“Some spells can be taken from anywhere, depending on one’s intentions when they use them,” Regina continued to explain, trying to ignore how hard Emma’s nipples had become due to the temperature of the water. It made her feel anxious, and so she focused on staring at her face instead. “I’m assuming that you transported yourself due to your need to protect me, which comes from…” 

Love.

_You’re in love with her… aren’t you?_

Snow’s words had suddenly invaded her mind, and Regina had to fight the urge to run as her previous sentence faded into nothing. She didn’t want Emma to love her, as she wasn’t worthy of having something that precious. It felt like such a terrible fate to condemn her to; a fate Emma didn’t deserve, as the woman could live a much fuller life without the weight of Regina’s issues bringing her down. 

“So since I drew from that before, it— I mean, it should be easier… right?” Emma asked, looking terribly nervous that she might fail in her attempt as she raised her hands to hover over Regina’s reddened skin. “…Do I have to touch you?”

Regina shook her head no, which seemed to at least relax Emma a little, as touching Regina while she was both nude _and_ hurt apparently was something she didn’t want to do. It probably felt like a violation to her, after everything she had just witnessed. “Just don’t focus so much on _what_ you want to accomplish; focus on _why._ ”

Emma took in a hesitant breath as she nodded, understanding. For a while nothing happened, but then suddenly Regina began to feel the sting of the pain lessen substantially as her skin on her chest and abdomen went from being an angry red, back to a pale olive. She blinked in surprise, as a part of her had still been doubtful that Emma could do it, just as the blonde’s face broke out in an amazed, yet relieved smile.

“Oh my god, I actually did it. Holy shit.”

Regina tried to smile, but it faltered as she wrapped her arms around her midsection and shivered. Now that her skin didn’t feel like it was on fire, the water was unbelievably cold; she didn’t know how Emma could stand it.

Emma’s brow creased. “What is it? What’s wrong?” she asked, sounding a little panicked again. “Do you still hurt; did I do it wrong?”

“No, I’m—I’m fine,” Regina lied, because she didn’t want to burden Emma right then with her worries about what her mother would do should she find out the woman not only had her daughter’s heart, but magic as well. “I’m… sorry,” she got out instead. “For acting foolishly. I shouldn’t have—Henry’s here, I need to make sure—”

“Henry’s fine,” Emma quickly assured her. “I mean, he’s worried about you – and about the whole Cora thing obviously – but my parents are watching him right now; he’s okay.” Giving her a sympathetic smile, Emma tilted her head to the side and told her softly, “But you need to… you have to take care of _you_ too; pushing everything down is just gonna make you go insane later. You need a second to deal with this too, Regina, even if… even if you weren’t exactly doing it in the best way.”

Regina’s eyes met the shower floor, a feeling of shame creeping up her spine. She had known from past experience that it wouldn’t do any good, and yet she did it anyway; it was foolish and reckless and undeniably selfish, as they had more important things to deal with right now then her mental breakdown, regardless of _what_ Emma believed needed to be acknowledged. 

“Look, you’re not the only one who feels like they need to scrub something off of them, okay?” Emma gently tried. “And maybe a shower won’t wash away the feeling, but it’s a start… right?” After giving Regina a soft smile, Emma then turned up the hot water just a tad so the spray cascading down on them would finally be a comfortable temperature. Grabbing the shampoo bottle off the rack, Emma went to squirt a little bit in her hand before instructing, “Turn around.”

Regina let out a haughty breath and rolled her eyes. “I’m not an infant, Miss Swan.”

“I know but… you’ve been through a hell of a lot today, and maybe—I don’t know, maybe it’d be nice to just take a break from everything and allow someone else to take care of you. I’m not trying to baby you, Regina,” Emma assured her. “I just… I’m just trying to make things a little easier for you, that’s all; even if it’s something small like this.”

Regina just stood there, arms still wrapped around her midsection as she stared at her, and her silence seemed to make Emma realize how problematic her offer could become as she quickly assured her, “Just your hair, not your body! I’m not—I mean, I won’t… touch you, in any way that’s inappropriate. I swear to God.” 

“I’m not made of _glass!_ ” Regina shouted at her, the instantaneous feeling of seeming about an inch tall after Emma’s words making her angry. She didn’t want to be _coddled,_ despite probably needing to be. Still, it infuriated her that Emma knew enough to have to amend that to her original offer, as Regina had never wanted anyone to know these things about her, let alone bear witness to why these issues came about in the first place.

“Hey, whoa, I didn’t mean—” Emma tried as she held up her hands in surrender. But she cut herself off mid-sentence with a sigh, probably believing this to be a lost cause. Her shoulders noticeably slumped. “Do you just want me to go…?”

Furious tears stung the back of Regina’s eyes, but she just shook her head angrily and turned around, because in the end, despite everything that had happened and everything Emma had witness, she so desperately did not want to be alone. “Just do my hair, Miss Swan.”

It took a moment, but finally Regina heard the squirt of the shampoo bottle as Emma replaced what she had dropped earlier. And then there were hands in her hair, lathering the liquid into foam as fingertips gently massaged her scalp. Regina closed her eyes and tried to block out everything in the world except that feeling; she didn’t want to think about the horrible day she had, or what feelings Emma must hold for her to have risked her life to see it end. And yet still, the more she tried to block it out, the more persistent those thoughts became to reach the forefront of her mind. 

Regina choked back a sob and covered her mouth with her hand, wishing she could just make everything about this experience disappear. She was—she had been _fine;_ broken, but fine… and now—now she felt like her mother had completely shattered her, and Regina feared she’d never be able to pick up the pieces of herself ever again. It didn’t feel like there was anything left of her to salvage.

“Regina…” Emma breathed sympathetically, a hand being gently placed on the brunette’s shoulder. Regina wanted to scream for her to get off—to just stop _touching_ her, because God, she didn’t feel worthy of the woman’s sympathy and care. But another part of her was fragile and desperate to be loved, to just feel _something_ from another person other than the worthlessness and disgust her mother had constantly thrown in her direction, and it was that part which won out in the end as Regina felt blindly behind her for Emma’s hand, before pulling the blonde’s arm around her midsection.

Maybe if someone was holding her, it would prevent her from falling completely apart. It was such a naïve thought, but Regina held onto the theory all the same.

“Hey, it’s—it’ll be okay, Regina; I promise it’ll all be okay…”

But as Emma snaked another arm around her waist and held her tight, Regina just shook her head and placed her forehead against the tiled wall as she cried, because she was wrong… Emma was _wrong_. It wouldn’t be okay; for no matter how much time had passed, no matter how free Regina ever got of her mother, the sad fact was that nothing could or would make everything that had happened today okay. It was just too crippling a memory.

**TBC…**


	12. The Weak

**CHAPTER TWELVE  
The Weak**

It hurt to breathe.

That depraved woman’s weapon had ripped a hole through her flesh, the sensation causing a fire to rage through her body and compress her lungs. It was unbearable, and although Cora knew of pain, the effect of this world’s weapons was unlike anything else she had ever felt before. And oh, it _enraged_ her, to have allowed such a thing to come to pass. Cora had believed her plan foolproof, but then again, perhaps she shouldn’t have put her faith in a man; for what were they, other than the very definition of a fool?

She was loathed to admit that she hadn’t foreseen this. She believed the pirate’s need for revenge would outweigh his conscience, but perhaps he cared less for his dead lover than he was apt to admit. Why else would he throw away his chance to avenge her? In the end though, hearts and their emotions were unpredictable things; and Cora, of all people, should have known that. It was why she had ripped her own out years ago. 

It mattered little, however. Cora was not stung by his betrayal, but he would certainly die for it regardless. The man’s insubordination had complicated matters, and now her daughter’s defenses – let alone any other idiot who sought to stand between her and her property – would surely be up when Cora finally returned to her. 

And that was simply unacceptable.

Still, there were more important matters to attend to first. The nameless man she had stumbled upon screamed as Cora pressed her palm to his forehead, syphoning his life essence from his body in order to relieve herself of her own injuries. It was temporary however, and as the man’s now lifeless body slumped to the pavement, Cora found herself contemplating her options. Should she get her daughter back she could simply guilt Regina into healing her and sparing her life, but with the Savior guarding her, it was doubtful that Cora would be able to get close enough to try. What the man at her feet had sacrificed would sustain her for the time being, yes, but it still left her significantly weakened. She needed to be healed.

So Cora took her second best option.

“I was wondering when you’d show up, dearie.”

As purple smoke billowed from her form and dissipated into the air, her eyes locked on the man on the other side of the room. He was leaning casually against the counter of his shop, looking almost as though he had been expecting her at any moment. Should Cora have had her heart inside her, it might have constricted at the sight of him. Rumpelstiltskin was, and always would be, the only man she would ever love in this world. In the end though, that had been the problem; and so now when she looked at him – heartless and cold – she felt nothing but a desire to take what she needed and leave him behind in the dust, forgotten. 

And yet still, she feigned a warmth she did not possess and stepped towards the man. “Rumple… I should have known you’d be aware of my little visit to this town; nothing has ever gotten past the Dark One, has it?”

Rumpelstiltskin laughed. “Flattery now, Cora? You must want something.” Coming around the counter, the man dragged a singular finger against the surface. “Tell me, how _did_ the Savior end up besting you? I find it interesting, that you would allow such a humiliating defeat…”

Cora’s eyes flashed at the insinuation, although she wasn’t surprised that he had known. The man really did have an annoying knack of being involved in damn near everything significant that had ever happened or ever would. “Defeat would indicate that this is over, my _dear_ Rumple… and believe me, this is very far from it.” Until Cora took her last breath, she would never stop her pursuit of Regina. Her daughter was _hers,_ and hers alone. The Savior had been a fool to believe otherwise.

“The woman fights with her heart and it makes her reckless,” Cora continued, arching an eyebrow as if daring the man to deny it, “the fact that I’m still breathing attests to that. Should she have been focused on her anger towards me instead of her desperation to save my daughter, perhaps she would have thought before she acted, and would have been successful in her endeavor. Her love for Regina makes her weak, and mark my words… it _will_ be what destroys her in the end; of that I’m certain.”

Rumpelstiltskin’s brow rose. “The Savior and the Evil Queen?” His surprise made way to amusement fairly quickly however and he giggled, drumming his fingers together. “My, my… when word of that gets out it’ll surely cause _quite_ the uproar, won’t it?”

“It _won’t,_ ” Cora warned, taking a step towards him. “My daughter does not suffer the same… _affliction_ that the Savior possesses. That disgusting woman has warped her mind, and I will not have Regina’s indiscretions be the subject of idle gossip between the peasants. So should you value your tongue, you will keep that information to yourself. It is of little importance anyhow, as I have already taken steps to rectify the situation; it is doubtful it will last very long.”

“Still concerned about the royal image,” Rumpelstiltskin noted, although looked more amused about it than anything else. “But this isn’t the Enchanted Forest, dearie; and in this world, your daughter isn’t a Queen.”

Cora’s eyes hardened with determination. “We shall see.” Her gaze fell on Rumpelstiltskin then, and she steered the conversation back to the reason she had come. “If you’re already aware of what transpired between the Savior and me, then you must know why I’m here.”

“Ah yes,” Rumpelstiltskin purred, fingers drumming against the surface of the counter as a smirk crossed his features. “Pesky little downfall, isn’t it; being unable to heal yourself without a heart? You removed it to make yourself stronger, and yet here you are, injured and weakened, unable to do anything about it. It’s a cruel sort of irony, isn’t it?”

He looked almost pleased by that, and Cora cocked her head at him in response. “Still bitter, are you then, Rumple? I would have thought someone of your power and position would have found a way to move past your frivolous attachment to me, but perhaps I was wrong.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, dearie,” Rumpelstiltskin warned. “You haven’t been worth a thought in a very long time. Which is why I’m curious as to why you’ve wasted what little time you have left by coming here; because from where I’m standing, I’m not seeing a reason to help you. In fact, from what I’ve heard, it was you who brought a certain pirate to this realm. Would I be wrong in assuming you promised him vengeance in exchange for his help?”

“The Captain is living on borrowed time, and is of no consequence to you,” Cora clipped, allowing her eyes to roam the man in front of her, before snapping them up to meet his gaze. “Unless you prefer to deal with him yourself? I could exchange him for your help, if you prefer.”

“You can’t exchange what you don’t have, dearie,” Rumpelstiltskin reminded her with a raised finger. “If the man is living on borrowed time, then he is not currently in your possession. For if he was, he would certainly be dead by now.”

Annoyance twisted in Cora’s gut as she stared him down. “Then what is it that you desire? Influence, Power?” she guessed, trying to find the man’s motivations. It was certainly beneath her, to bargain for her life in this way instead of just taking what it was that she needed from him, but in her current state, Cora knew she was in no position to take on the Dark One. And oh, how her weakness _irritated_ her, but Cora forced herself to swallow her pride and continued, “Once I reestablish my daughter’s position, she will be in need of a king; that position could be granted to you, if you so wish.”

Rumpelstiltskin laughed at the offer. “You forget, my dear Cora; I know you, I _made_ you. The last thing you would do is marry Regina off to someone you could not control.” He waved his hand to dismiss the thought, “Regardless, I have no interest in marrying your daughter… she isn’t exactly my type.”

“She came from me, did she not?” Cora challenged, finding offense in that. “And no matter how much you may despise your own foolishness now, there was once a time where I was everything you desired.”

“Things change, dearie,” Rumpelstiltskin reminded her. “Besides, no matter how much you may wish it, and no matter how much you seek to change it, Regina is not and will never be _you._ Perhaps it’s time to find yourself a new hobby.”

Cora’s eyes flashed, but she did not use her magic in retaliation, despite how badly she ached to. It would be a fool’s errand; and one which would surely give the man cause to choose the wrong side. Rumpelstiltskin had always been out for his own interests, and should they not align with Cora’s at the moment, then the last thing she wanted to do was give him cause to stand by what the Savior desired, as it would certainly mean her downfall. Keeping him neutral, for the time being, was a much safer option; at least until she found a way to heal herself and restore her powers to full strength.

“So you refuse to help me then?” Cora questioned, raising a singular brow as she searched for that annoying shred of humanity the man still held inside of him. “You’re content on condemning the woman you once loved to death? Perhaps it’s you who no longer has a heart then, and you’re unable to help me just as much as I’m unable to help myself. Because not using my vulnerability against me? Well, that just doesn’t seem like you, now does it?”

Rumpelstiltskin laughed. “Believe what you’d like, dearie, but it doesn’t change anything. Until you have something of value to offer me, getting involved in your affairs is more trouble than it’s worth.” It was a brutal honesty that Cora hadn’t expected, as she had counted on the man’s heart to betray his common sense. Perhaps she had been right, when she guessed he no longer had one.

Or perhaps he had just learned how to not allow his emotions to weaken him.

“Although if it’s any consolation, I do have _every_ faith that you’ll prevail through this little… mishap,” Rumpelstiltskin continued, finally crossing the remaining distance between them to stand before her. “I will admit though, I am _very_ curious to see how you do it. Every magic user in town has been warned about you, so it’ll be quite difficult getting close to them, won’t it? Especially with your limited powers and even smaller time frame…”

“So what’s next, hmm? What are you left with?” Rumpelstiltskin drawled, causing the irritation in the pit of Cora’s stomach to burn hotter. The man lifted his finger as he continued, “Ah, your _heart._ You’ve always been a quick study; you could always put it back in and learn to heal yourself, but I wonder… would you be able to live with yourself, once you’re able to feel the guilt for all that you’ve done?”

“Everything I’ve done has been for my daughter’s benefit,” Cora countered, finding his theory absolutely ridiculous. She chuckled at the mere thought of it. “What guilt lies in that? I molded her into her highest potential; it’s what any good mother would do.”

“Regina is _useless_ when she is in your shadow,” Rumpelstiltskin told her, his tone unapologetic. “You went too far and have broken her beyond repair. She’s crippled in your presence, and that is why I encouraged her to get rid of you all those years ago. With you around she is nothing but a frail puppet, but without you she is a _weapon_ ; one that, despite how much you may wish it, you will never be able to utilize, for you’ve become her failsafe.” 

“If I can break her, then I can certainly rebuild her,” Cora snapped, unhappy with the man’s assessment, as it sounded as if she had inadvertently groomed Regina for his benefit, when the girl had been and always would be _her_ toy to play with. “Once I rid her of her undesirable traits, I will make her powerful; _strong._ She will rule not only this town, but this _realm_ with me by her side one day; of that I can assure you of, my dear Rumple. Because yes, I _have_ made her into a weapon, but you’re wrong in assuming that she is hindered by her maker; for in the end, only the creator knows how to truly wield their work.”

“And where is your weapon now, hmm?” Rumpelstiltskin countered, raising his eyebrow. “Off cowering in a hole somewhere because of what you’ve done? You have no restraint, Cora; that has always been your greatest flaw, and one that will no doubt not only bring your plan to ruin, but destroy it before it has even started should you be foolish enough to put your heart back into your chest.” 

“And here I thought you were advocating for it,” Cora responded, surprised by that yet keeping it out of her tone. “You always hated the moment that I chose power over the ability to feel love, so why warn me against doing it now?”

“Because you will not survive it.”

Cora’s brow furrowed, her gaze mapping every line in his expression, every flicker behind the man’s eyes. It was then that she realized. “You still care for me… don’t you, my dear? Somewhere, deep down, there’s still that little _spark_ of feeling you haven’t been able to rid yourself of.” The realization made her laugh out loud, finding Rumpelstiltskin’s humanity ridiculously pathetic. Her reaction clearly infuriated the man, but Cora found no need to address his emotional response. “You forget, Rumple, I’m not like most people, and it will take much more than a heart to cripple me, no matter what I’ve done since it’s removal.”

“Then do not heed my warning, and wallow in the repercussions of your own idiocy,” Rumpelstiltskin snapped, unable to hide his own irritation with how Cora had reacted to his show of concern. Still, he did seek to bury it rather quickly, and waved his hand at her as though none of this was of any importance in the long run. “It’s of no matter to me. You want to know why I won’t help you, dearie; why I will not choose your side? _This_ is why. No matter what you choose to do, whether you place your heart back in your chest or find another way to heal yourself, your plan is doomed to fail, because Regina will never be able to function like the Queen you need, the _weapon_ you need as long as you’re around. And I, for one, do not plan to be on board when this little ship sinks to the bottom of the ocean.”

Anger bubbled in the pit of Cora’s stomach, and she wished for nothing more than to make him sorry for ever standing against her, for _betting_ against her when she was up against nothing but an uncivilized reject of a princess. It wasn’t the time though, and she knew it; if nothing else, Cora had always been unwaveringly patient when it came to enacting her revenge. In the end, Rumpelstiltskin would get what was coming to him; she would make sure of it.

“Fine,” she responded flatly, a challenge in her eye despite not allowing her anger to filter through her tone. Cora didn’t want him to know how much his refusal bothered her; she had been betting on it, due to the man’s past feelings for her. Without him, things became… much more complicated. Doable of course, but complicated. “Perhaps I had expected too much of you; in the end, you really are nothing but a coward, aren’t you? Why fight for a better world, when you can cower in this one?”

Rumpelstiltskin’s eyes narrowed at the insinuation, but it didn’t enrage him as much as Cora had hoped. “’Better’ is a relative term, dearie,” he reminded her. “And one we do not see eye to eye on. I happen to enjoy this world, and feel no need to return to the old one.”

“ _Why?_ ” Cora challenged, finding that strange. She stepped into his space, staring him down, and asked, “What is it that ties you to this place?” Rumpelstiltskin said nothing in response however, and it spoke volumes to the other woman. The man had a secret, and one that she would make a point to uncover later, should Cora find she needed leverage on him in the future. She smirked at his silence.

“Keep your little secrets then, Rumple, if they make you feel safer,” Cora responded, taking a step back from him as she made her closing statements. “But remember that I know where your weaknesses lie, and as such will _always_ be able to exploit them. And the worst part of it all, the most _pathetic_ part of it all… is that you know that, don’t you? You know that, and yet you’ll allow me to keep living; you’ll allow me to walk out of this shop and do nothing to stop me because of that pesky little thing inside of your chest. You really should have ridded yourself of it long ago, my dear, because I can guarantee you that in the end, its presence will be the one thing you truly regret.”

The man lost control of his anger then, and his hand shot out to wrap around Cora’s throat. The woman did nothing to stop it however, not only having expected that reaction, but knowing that to counteract it in her weakened state would be nothing more than a waste of strength. Rumpelstiltskin held her there for a moment before his eyes flashed in anger and he pushed, using magic to force Cora against the wall and pin her there. 

“Are you _trying_ to get me to kill you, dearie…?” Rumpelstiltskin asked, keeping her held in place as he stared her down. “Because correct me if I’m wrong, but that does seem a little counteractive to your goal.”

“No,” Cora responded, smirking despite the pain in her back and the difficulties she had in taking her next breath; because at the end of the day, she knew that she was _winning._ “I’m proving to you that you _can’t._ ”

Rumpelstiltskin stared at her for a very long time, his expression hardened despite the clear conflict that raged behind his darkened eyes. And then finally he moved, dropping his arm and allowing Cora to be released. “You’re as good as dead anyway, dearie; the spell you’ve used to delay the inevitable will grow weaker each time. You have three days at most should you slaughter a dozen, so perhaps you should stop wasting your time with idle threats and figure out how you’re going to survive to see the end of the week.”

Cora laughed as she pushed herself off the wall and straightened her dress. She knew he didn’t have it in him. “What happened to your faith in my ability to prevail? Has it gone so quickly?” she asked, cocking her head to the side as she smirked. “Don’t concern yourself with me, Rumple… at least, not yet. I’ll get what it is that I want; and when I do, my dear, it’ll be you that I’m coming for next. Perhaps you should take this time to reevaluate your priorities, and if you happen to find your intelligence and come to the right decision, maybe I’ll allow _you_ to survive the end of the week as well.”

And then she was gone in a puff of smoke, leaving the man behind to contemplate his choices as Cora sought to find an alternative plan of action. Because while she didn’t show it, this failure drew cause for concern. Her current weakened state meant taking magic users by force would be difficult if not impossible, and her heart… unfortunately, that too would come with repercussions that Cora did not know if she wanted to face a second time. Because while she didn’t believe Rumple’s claims that the guilt she would inevitably feel for her actions would become unbearable to live with, Cora feared she wouldn’t have it within her to remove it once again, as the first time… well, that had been hard enough. 

And back then, she had only loved one.

But a mother’s love for their child was innate, was it not? Although Cora spewed the pretty words to make Regina compliant, she had never truly felt what it meant to love her. She was incapable of it. And should she return her heart to her body and feel what it was that she had been missing, it would mean that she was not only Regina’s weakness, but that Regina was _hers._

And that was completely unacceptable, as the last thing Cora wanted, the last thing that she _needed_ in order to achieve her ends, was a weakness she wouldn’t be able to find it within herself to eradicate. 

It was simply too dangerous.

[x]

“I was wrong.”

“What?” Emma asked, turning from her parents to set her eyes on Regina. The woman was sitting cross-legged on the bed in the corner of the room, Henry latched onto her right arm as he rested his chin on her shoulder, the two of them looking down at the book that lay open on the duvet in front of them. 

Although they all knew that Henry wasn’t able to read the language that Regina’s spell books were in, he still had insisted on ‘helping’ them all the same. Emma had just thought that he needed a distraction from the looming threat of Cora, but the longer she watched the two of them, she finally began to realize that what Henry was doing wasn’t for him at all. He clung to Regina for support not because _he_ needed it, but because she did. Regina had looked as though she were about to shatter, but when Henry needed her to be strong, to _protect_ him, the change in her was almost instantaneous. In the end, her son would always come first, and if Henry needed her to be his rock, then Regina would without hesitation. 

“The spell,” Regina elaborated, placing her hand on Henry’s that was clasped around her bicep as she looked over at Emma. While her voice still lacked the strength and conviction it usually had, her spine was straight and her posture assured as she told her what she had found. Yet even still, she had a hard time keeping eye contact; everything that had happened between them causing her to feel shame every time their eyes met fully. “The one my mother will use to prolong her life. It’s… I had believed she could only do it once, but I was… wrong.”

“So what, she could hold out indefinitely?” That sounded like the opposite of good news.

“No,” Regina responded, her eyes landing on the book in front of her and scanning it for a moment before she took a deep breath and continued, “The spell loses power each time it’s used; eventually it’ll stop working completely. I… I’m unsure how long it’ll take until that happens, however. It depends on the severity of her wound and the strength of her sacrifices.”

“Sacrifices?” Mary Margaret asked, blanching a little at the news.

“Well she’s using dark magic, Snow. What did you expect, that she would prolong her life with rainbows and unicorns?” Regina suddenly snapped, looking at her like she was being stupid. And while Emma was glad, in a way, that she had reacted like that – since it meant that Henry had helped Regina feel a little bit more like herself – the blonde still released an exasperated breath at her tone. It really wasn’t helping.

“So what, that means everyone in town is fucked then?”

Regina shot her a dark look as she covered Henry’s ears and placed the kid’s head against her chest, prioritizing being a mother above all else right then because it was the only thing she could really handle. “ _Emma._ ” 

“…Or something entirely less swear-y.”

Although Emma understood where Regina was coming from, at the end of the day that really wasn’t the important issue, and so she had a hard time actually caring about her colorful use of language. When it was just them that Cora was after that was one thing, but now everyone else was in danger. And god, just the thought of that made Emma’s stomach sink to the floor. She was so convinced that Cora would come after them first, but apparently that wasn’t the woman’s plan at all, and now other people were going to suffer for her mistake.

She should have shot her in the head.

_Five fucking times._

“We need to warn the town,” David said, taking his cell phone out of his back pocket as Henry squirmed out of his mother’s hold, wanting to be able to hear the conversation. “We can’t leave them defenseless against Cora.”

“How can we hide everyone though?” Henry asked, his gaze resting on the four adults in turn as he wrapped his arms around his mother’s forearm again. He looked worried, and Regina placed a protective hand against the side of his head. “Cora’s really powerful… right? I mean, that’s why we’re hiding down here instead of fighting?”

Emma opened her mouth to answer, but closed it almost immediately. She didn’t really know how to answer him, because every answer she had made her feel guilty. They were supposed to be the heroes, right? And yet they were hiding down there because Emma had prioritized his and Regina’s wellbeings over the safety of the rest of the town. 

What the hell kind of Savior did that make her?

“We’re just… regrouping,” David tried to explain, his phone still clutched in his hand as he looked over at his wife, who was staring at Regina. The former queen wouldn’t look at anyone though; she was just staring at the book in front of her, her gaze unfocused as she was no doubt reminded why they were down there in the first place.

Emma wished she could take those memories away from her. Somehow, someway, she just wished she could make it _okay._

But it really never would be, would it?

“And we need to keep you safe,” Mary Margaret interjected quickly, looking at Henry to try to get his attention off his mother. The more Regina withdrew, the more concerned he got, and the last thing Regina needed was more guilt on her shoulders for worrying him. 

“Don’t worry, kid; we won’t let Cora kill anyone,” Emma tried to assure him. But just as she said that, David’s phone rang. Emma sucked in a sharp breath as he pressed the talk button and held it up to his ear. She had a bad feeling she knew what the phone call was going to be about.

As David answered it, he moved away from the group and went into the bathroom to take the call in private; mostly for Henry’s benefit, but probably Regina’s as well, who had bit the inside of her cheek as soon as the phone rang, her expression clouding over.

“Alright, so, good news? Silver lining?” Emma tried, her voice a few octaves higher as she pretended she didn’t feel as hopeless as she did. But she really had no idea what to do next. She didn’t want to leave Regina and Henry, but trying to wait Cora out could cause the rest of the town to suffer in the meantime. “Anyone? Cause we really don’t have a lot of time here.”

Mary Margaret just looked at her sympathetically, which helped to the sum of zero.

“…She’s weak,” Regina finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. It was almost as though she struggled with telling them that. Emma’s gaze snapped towards her.

“What?”

“The… the spell she’s using,” Regina told her, voice a little strained as she momentarily caught Emma’s eyes. “It takes a lot of energy to uphold. Until she’s— until she’s _healed_ … she won’t be nearly as powerful.” At Emma’s reaction to that, suddenly the blonde realized why Regina was so hesitant to tell her in the first place. “ _No,_ Emma, you can’t—”

“Because waiting around until she’s fully healed is a better idea?”

“Even at a quarter of her strength, she’s still more powerful than you!” Regina exclaimed, trying to get Emma to understand that this was still dangerous. Which Emma knew, but she liked the odds of this a hell of a lot better than the coin toss to see whether Cora can live out the rest of the week or not. “You can’t just barrel in half-cocked and—Emma, stop! _Stop!_ ”

Regina tried to make it sound demanding, and yet in the end it only came across as frantic and scared. So badly in fact, that it caused Mary Margaret to act on her behalf and place a hand on the small of Emma’s back, halting her daughter’s movements. The blonde closed her eyes for a moment and took a shuddered inhale of breath, the gun she had meant to grab just sitting beneath her hand as she leaned against the table it was placed on.

“Emma, Regina’s right,” Mary Margaret told her softly. “You can’t go after Cora without a plan.”

She knew that. Of _course_ she knew that, but when Emma heard that there might be a brief moment where Cora was less powerful than usual, the last thing she wanted to do was wait around and let it pass. It was the first shred of good news they heard, and Emma just… she wanted this to be _over._ She wanted her family to not live in fear; to not cower in the dark like caged animals. She wanted them to feel safe. She wanted to be safe herself.

And sitting down here wasn’t accomplishing any of that.

David took that moment to come out of the bathroom, a grave expression on his face as he hung up the phone. Emma felt her stomach sink to the floor as she looked at him. “Where?” she asked, because she just _knew._

“…In an alley off of Fifth and Main.” 

“That’s near Gold’s shop,” Mary Margaret responded, concern showing in her eyes, although it was doubtful it was for the man’s wellbeing. “Do you think he…?”

Everyone looked at Regina, but she didn’t have the surefire answer that they were looking for. “If it benefited him,” she responded softly, almost _apologetically,_ like this entire thing was here fault. And that’s what pissed Emma off the most; the fact that Cora was the one who was sick, the one who was deranged, and the one who’s _entire_ fault this actually was, and yet she had screwed with her daughter’s head so badly that Regina felt responsible for it all. 

“We need to find out then,” David responded, determination in his eyes as he headed for the door. “ _Now._ And warn the rest of the town while we’re at it, because that woman is not killing anymore of our citizens.”

“I want to help!” Henry exclaimed, but Regina had a hand on his shoulder to halt him so fast that the kid was barely able to move an inch. 

“Henry, it’s not—”

“You can help here, kid, okay?” Emma tried, squatting down on her haunches to look up at her son on the bed. “Getting everyone in the loop is gonna be hard even with calling a town meeting, cause not everyone’s gonna hear the word in time and show up. But with email and texts, maybe we’ll be able to warn a lot more people. You can help your mom with that, okay?”

“He can help the _both_ of you,” Mary Margaret interjected, causing Emma to turn sharply towards her. As much as she wanted to protect them, Regina had already said that this place was impenetrable, and she was the goddamn _Sherriff_. She needed to be involved in this, whether she liked it or not, because it wasn’t just their lives on the line anymore. And if Gold had helped Cora…

“If you actually think for a _second_ that I’m going to allow you to leave my sight—” Regina tried, looking at the blonde like she couldn’t actually believe her choices right now, but Emma just took the woman’s hand in hers and looked up at Regina imploringly. 

“Regina, I swear, I’ll be back in a couple hours. But this is my _job,_ not to mention entirely my fault that she’s not dead, and I can’t—”

“Emma, a word,” Mary Margaret interrupted sternly. “Now, please.”

Emma sighed softly and got to her feet, untangling her hand from Regina’s.

After her mother had pulled her into the far corner, she told her low tone so as not to be overheard, “You need to stay with them. I understand that you feel responsible, but you can’t leave them alone here.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Emma tried to explain. She wasn’t so stupid that she was going to leave them alone and defenseless, no matter how secure this place might be. “I was going to leave _you_ with them. But this situation has gone from bad, to worse, to completely _fucked_ , and since David and I are the authority in this town, we both need to—”

“Do you really think Regina needs _me_ right now?” Mary Margaret asked sharply, looking at her daughter like she was questioning whether or not she was dropped on her head as an infant. “I saw what she did to herself in the bathroom, Emma, and no matter how much she may have calmed down since, it won’t stay that way. Whatever… whatever _happened_ this morning… I know Regina, and I know how she reacts to things. And that… that was _not_ like her. She needs someone right now; someone that she can trust and feel safe with.” 

“And _I’m_ it?” Emma bit back in a fierce whisper, feeling guilt and self-loathing constrict her chest. “I’m the entire fucking reason this happened, Mary Margaret. Cora did this to her because of _me,_ because of what _I_ feel for her. How the hell can Regina put her trust in me, feel _safe_ with me, when it was my stupid crush that ruined her life?”

“Love doesn’t ruin lives, Emma,” Mary Margaret told her daughter fiercely, clearly not happy that she was blaming herself for this. “ _Hatred_ does.”

Emma’s cheeks colored in a fierce blush. “I don’t—”

“Don’t lie to me,” Mary Margaret interrupted. “And don’t argue with me either. Your father and I are going to find out what happened with Gold and warn the town. We’ll call you when we know more, and then if we find we need you, we’ll discuss our options. But you are staying with them, and I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

Emma felt a little disoriented by her mother’s strong reaction towards this, as she honestly thought that’d be the last thing she’d hear as far as Regina was concerned, so she kind of stumbled over her words and her thoughts as she blurted out, “How are you—why are you _okay_ with this…?”

“I’m _not_ okay with this,” Mary Margaret told her firmly, emotion choking up her words a little as she looked at her daughter. “Emma, the last thing I would have wanted for you was for you to fall in love with someone and have it turn out… like _this._ Regina might be the last person I would have ever wanted for you, but it doesn’t bother me that you chose her as much as it pains me that _this_ is what came of it. You told me earlier that you believe she’ll be unable to be with you after what happened today, and that _breaks my heart,_ Emma. Because no matter where you find your happiness, it will always hurt me to watch you lose it.”

Emma trapped her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes welling with tears that she wouldn’t allow to fall. She didn’t want to draw attention to herself, because this wasn’t about her or what she feared she lost; Regina and Henry… they were more important right now. So although her mother’s reminder of how much had been destroyed pained her, Emma kept it inside, because it mattered so very little in comparison to everything else that was going on.

Mary Margaret could see the pain in her eyes though, so she gave her a sympathetic smile as she cupped her cheek. “The town may need leaders right now, but Regina needs _you,_ ” she told her softly. “So stay with her; be the person she needs. Your father and I will deal with the rest and will call you as soon as we know anything.”

Emma pursed her lips, but nodded her compliance. Mary Margaret was right; she was needed here more, at least until they found out what happened to Cora. And to be honest she was incredibly thankful for it, because despite the obligation she felt to Storybrooke and its citizens, the last thing she wanted to do was leave. “Thanks, Mom,” she whispered, causing a small smile to cross Mary Margaret’s face before she turned and joined her husband near the door.

And after a few more words of parting they both left, leaving the three of them alone with their fears, with their doubt, and with the hope that round two with the cruel sorceress wouldn’t be nearly as crippling as the first one was.

[x]

When everything else is silent, even the softest of noises sound like screams.

Henry was usually quiet while he slept, but every so often he would choke on a half snore out of nowhere as he rolled over to reposition himself. It was something Regina had known for over a decade, and yet the sound of it startled her so badly she nearly jumped out of her skin, causing the springs in the old bed to creak beneath her. Emma groaned in sleepy protest as she shifted and blinked the sleep from her eyes, looking at the woman who lay next to her on the bed, still incredibly tense.

“S’wrong?” Emma husked, her brow creasing as she looked at Regina’s demeanor, trying to assess it and wake up at the same time. “You ‘kay?” Her hand reached out to gently touch Regina’s wrist, most likely out of habit and only meant as a gesture of comfort, but Regina had been trapped in far too many terrible thoughts for the better part of the last hour that any human contact made her flinch and back away.

“Nothing, Henry’s snoring just startled me,” Regina explained in a whisper, moving away from her to give the woman, and herself, space. “Go back to sleep.”

Emma shook her head as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. As she spoke, her words were interrupted by a yawn. “No, it’s—hmmm… it’s your turn. I’m fine, just a little…” A second yawn followed. “I’m fine.”

Regina looked at her like she was being moronic, but then again, that was Emma for you. “You’ve only been asleep for an hour, Miss Swan; in no way does that account for a decent night’s rest.”

“Regina, I swear, I’m fine,” Emma tried to assure her, hoisting herself upwards to sit back on the pillows. Her lips pursed as she allowed her gaze to rest on the brunette’s slightly disheveled appearance, right before giving her a slight head nod as if to accent her point. “Seriously, you look exhausted. Just sleep, okay? I’ll keep watch, I promise.”

Regina exhaled a frustrated breath as she shook her head and looked away from her. She didn’t want to get into this debate again. It had been hard enough trying to convince Emma to let her take first watch; the woman had a knack of being annoyingly stubborn. But Regina couldn’t… she couldn’t even imagine sleeping right now, no matter how exhausted she may be. Her paranoia would always keep her awake, and it would stay that way until her body couldn’t take it anymore and finally shut down.

She knew the routine far too well by now, but the last thing she wanted to do was tell Emma that.

It was bad enough that she knew, that she _saw…_ God, it made just looking at her so incredibly difficult, because Regina wanted nothing more than to crawl in a hole and never come out. Shame and self-disgust was a constant in her life now, and Regina feared this being over just as much as she feared Cora at this point because how was she just… supposed to continue on with her _life_ after this? 

Before, it had been easier. No one knew and Regina could just bury it deep inside, pretending that it didn’t exist. But the entire town knew that Cora was on the loose now, and soon the rumors would begin to spread. Although Regina doubted any of them would ever guess what truly happened when she was taken prisoner, she still couldn’t bear the thought of anyone looking at her like she was weak, as even if they didn’t know the truth, it would still _feel_ like they did.

Because they would be right. She _was_ weak.

Disgusting. Pathetic. Depraved.

And then there was Emma, who _did_ know the truth, and yet she would somehow be expected to just go on as normal, and co-parent with the woman who bore witness to her lowest moment? Regina had contemplated just taking Henry when this was all over and running far away from this place, but even if she could find a way past the town line, she couldn’t… she knew that she _couldn’t_ do that to Emma. She cared far too much for the irritating woman that currently shared her bed to just rip her son from her life, never to allow her to see him again. That was a cruelness that Regina no longer had inside of her.

And it made her want to cry with helplessness, because she just _didn’t know what to do._

“Regina… you’re shaking,” Emma noted softly, her tone concerned as her brow creased and she sat up a little straighter. She moved to touch her, but then thought better of it before she allowed her hand to hover in the air for a moment before dropping it completely. “Talk to me.”

“To what end?” Regina bit back in a whisper, careful not to wake their son, who was sprawled out on the floor in front of a muted television. He had conked out sometime during the second half of Law & Order. Taking a breath, Regina ran her trembling hand through her hair in an attempt to both have more control over it and make herself look less like the mess that she felt. “You already know why I’m like this; what good will reliving it do?”

Sympathy and sadness crossed over Emma’s face then, looking a little lost about how to respond because the sad truth of it was, she _did_ know. She knew better than anyone. Regina felt her eyes well up with tears and as she tried to hold them back she fisted her hair in her hand, looking down at the duvet. 

“Regina,” Emma implored softly, looking at her like she wished nothing more than to have the ability to take the pain away. Regina wished that she could. “Tell me… just tell me what I can do, and I’ll do it…”

“Forget,” Regina breathed, the word coming out broken and barely above a whisper as she voiced her one wish that she knew would never come true. A singular tear slipped down the curvature of her cheek and she begged softly, “Just forget, Emma, please…”

Despite how careful Emma had been lately about touching her, there was something about Regina crying that seemed to elicit something inside of her that she could not control. And Regina wished she could hate it, wished she could hate her for caring for her so much even after everything she had seen, but when Emma cradled her head in her hands and wiped away the fallen tear with her thumb, Regina could do nothing else but allow her face to bury in the crook of her neck. She felt safe there, and she despised that she did, because it conflicted terribly with her desire to run away from the woman who knew far too much of her darkness.

Her hand fisting in chocolate locks, Emma pressed her lips to Regina’s forehead and promised, “I will _never_ look at you any differently, Regina. It was something that happened to you, not something you chose. It was… it was just a _moment_ , and moments don’t define who you are.”

It felt as though her entire existence had been defined by her mother, so why should this be any different? She wouldn’t be who she was without Cora, for better or for worse, and that was why Regina couldn’t bring herself to believe Emma’s words, despite how badly she wished she could. She felt like she was nothing beneath the person her mother had shaped her to become.

Hollow. Lifeless. 

Just another puppet on strings.

But then Regina’s eyes landed on the sleeping form of Henry, and suddenly she was reminded that if nothing else, there was at least one thing that Cora didn’t mold her to become: a mother. That choice was entirely hers, and although she was not perfect at it, she strived to continue it all the same, because it was something… _he_ was something that gave her life meaning, purpose, _joy._

And that, in the end, was why he was a huge threat to Cora.

Regina knew her mother would tell her anything she wanted to hear, but the fact of the matter was, there wasn’t a guarantee that should Cora win, she would allow her to keep Henry. He wasn’t something that _she_ had given her, after all, and Cora loathed Regina having attachments that weren’t designated by her. It made keeping Henry safe all the more imperative, and Regina suddenly pushed herself out of Emma’s arms and stood from the bed as she realized she needed to do more; more than just hiding him, more than just hoping that ‘good’ would prevail over ‘evil’.

“Regina, what are you—?” Emma tried, a perplexed look crossing over her face from the brunette’s sudden shift in demeanor, but Regina didn’t explain; she just wiped the last of her tears from her cheeks, straitened her spine, and ordered,

“Follow me.”

Emma still looked a little confounded at the abrupt change, but did as she was requested and scrambled out of bed to follow her. However once Regina reached the door, Emma immediately grabbed her arm to stop her. “Okay, where the _hell_ do you think you’re going?”

Regina took a breath, gathering her courage despite knowing the chances of Cora being on the other side of that door right now were slim. David had called a few hours ago and related the update from Gold, who had admitted that Cora had come to see him, yet swore she had left in the same state she arrived in. Of course David and his wife weren’t entirely convinced that he was telling the truth, but Regina believed that he was; if Gold had helped Cora, the last thing he would have done was stick around for the Charmings to find him. He would have gone with her.

That meant Cora was still living on borrowed time, and so Regina knew that the last thing she would do right now was try to find them. Her mother was smart, and she would have guessed that they had taken precautions against her; and at the moment, she was far too weak to stand against them.

Yet even still, her paranoia made her nervous.

Keeping Henry safe was more important though, so Regina turned to the woman who held her arm and told her, “I need to protect our son. This isn’t… it isn’t _enough_ , Emma. I want to make sure my mother never gets her hands on him, can’t you understand that?”

“Of course I can, but I’m still wondering why the hell that means we need to _leave,_ ” Emma responded, her grip on Regina tightening. She was probably afraid she was going to run out with or without her permission. “What the hell is out there that we can’t do in here?”

“My… potions.”

Emma blinked. “Your what now?”

“Or more accurately, the ingredients,” Regina amended, shifting her weight between her feet as she stared back at the other woman. She needed Emma to help her with this; because she just wasn’t… she wasn’t capable of doing it herself at the moment. Not with these cuffs on her wrists. “But they’re right outside, in the crypt. It will only take a half hour at most, Emma, please. I would feel much better if I knew Henry had more protection than this singular room.”

“Regina…” Emma responded warily, her eyes shifting towards the door. “It’s risky. And we shouldn’t—we can’t leave Henry in here by himself.”

“If we had any other option then of course I’d take it, Emma; but I can’t do magic right now, and you can’t do anything at all without help!” Regina hissed back, desperate for her to understand that she needed to do this. She couldn’t just… she couldn’t just _sit_ here, helpless and victimized. Henry was _her_ son, and it was her job to protect him, no matter what or how much she had gone through not twenty four hours prior. 

Emma pursed her lips, her eyes shifting over to Henry’s sleeping figure. “Fine,” she conceded, knowing she was fighting a losing battle. “But I’m taking my gun.”

“I would have told you to anyhow.”

Emma shot her a look as she grabbed it off of the far table and holstered it. “Comforting, Regina.”

“It’s three thirty in the morning,” Regina reasoned, trying to make Emma feel better as much as herself about this. “And my mother has always been very particular about rising with the sun. Wherever she is right now, she’s sleeping, I assure you.”

“Fine,” Emma repeated, walking past Regina and grabbing hold of the doorknob. “Let’s hurry though; if Henry wakes up and finds us gone…”

“I know.”

The two women exited the room, being careful not to wake Henry while they did so. When the door clicked shut behind them, Emma audibly gasped as she watched the door disappear from view, looking akin to the stone walls that surrounded them. She placed her hand against the surface, her brow creasing as she tried to feel around for the door that she would never be able to find on her own.

“It’s just… gone.”

“That’s magic, dear.”

Emma rolled her eyes at her tone. “Yes, thank you, I’m aware.”

Regina tried to hide the small smirk that threatened to peak out at Emma’s response. For some reason, she had always found the woman endearing at the oddest of times. But that feeling left quickly as Regina was made very much aware of how exposed she— _they_ now were, and her expression faded as she took hold of Emma’s hand, needing her close not only for her own piece of mind, but to make sure they didn’t get separated as well.

“Come.”

Emma followed without a word, down one of the winding hallways in the underground crypt to reach another room. Emma noted her surprise about how large the place actually was, but Regina didn’t bother with a response as she quickly crossed the area to reach her workbench on the other side. Emma’s brow rose as she saw the contents that littered it.

“So what… are we making here, exactly?”

“A few things,” Regina told her, beginning to gather the ingredients she needed. “A transportation spell, for starters.” It would allow Henry to get away at a moment’s notice, and that was imperative should Cora come within thirty feet of him. So long as he didn’t say out loud where he planned to go, she wouldn’t be able to follow. He may even be able to get out of town with it, since he wasn’t bound by the curse like they were.

“Like a poof-poof kind of thing?”

Regina side-glanced her, a disbelieving look on her face. “Please don’t tell me that’s what you call what I do.”

“Well not _out loud…_ usually.” Emma looked sheepish, and it caused Regina to chuckle low in her throat as she turned back to her task. 

That was the thing about Emma. For as much as she could remind Regina about what happened, she could just as easily keep her mind off of it as well, and that was what Regina needed right now. Her heart rate had already doubled once she had stepped out of that room, and should Emma’s innate ridiculousness not have provided her with a distraction, Regina knew her concentration would be shot right now, and that wasn’t exactly conducive to getting things done _quickly._

“But yes,” Regina answered, pulling out a beaker. After blowing off the dust that covered its surface, she finished, “that’s precisely what we’re making.”

Emma still eyed it warily, however. Her self-doubt was written all over her expression. “But what if I can’t…?”

“You _can,_ ” Regina interrupted, straightening her spine before turning towards the blonde. She needed Emma to believe in herself otherwise this would never work, and Regina didn’t want them to have left the safety of that room for nothing. “And you will. I’ve seen what you can do, Emma, and you shouldn’t sell yourself short; most people wouldn’t have been able to heal me as thoroughly as you did on your first try.”

“You’re…” Regina’s gaze flickered across her face then, finally meeting her eyes. “You’re very gifted, Emma. With proper training, you could be… well you could be very powerful, if you so wished it.”

Emma bit the inside of her cheek as she held the eye contact Regina allotted her, but in the end it was still very brief, Regina being unable to allow her vulnerabilities to shine through to the other woman for very long. She had seen quite enough of them already. “Would you… train me?” Emma asked softly, almost hesitantly, as though she were afraid of Regina’s rejection of the idea. “I mean once this is all… you know. Over.”

Regina exhaled a small breath and turned away from her, busying herself with the task in front of her. She didn’t want to make any promises she couldn’t keep, because she was unsure if she would be able to handle being around Emma for very long after this. “We’ll see,” was all she said, her voice barely above a whisper as she made the final preparations for the potion.

Emma understood however, understood that no matter what Regina may feel for her, some things might be too damaged to repair; and so while a flash of disappointment flickered across the woman’s features, it was gone in an instant and replaced with a gentle nod. “Okay,” Emma responded softly, taking another step to reach Regina’s side, looking down at the contents on the table.

“So show me how to do this.”

**TBC…**


End file.
